Important side note: we have invited these close friends of ours to every thing we have had involving milestone celebrations over the many decades we have known them and they have freely and happily attended. Event #1. A long time ago I posted about an extraordinarily difficult time in my life when I got a wedding invitation from a very close friend (decades long friendship) to attend her (adult) child's wedding less than a week before the wedding. Her and her husband wanted to invite family, even family that live far away, even family that they aren't very close to....to the wedding before inviting my husband and myself. Like all things, there are odd complications to the story...but we didn't do anything on our end to cause this. It was a weird and painful situation and I don't agree with their behavior or decisions. We did accept this rather odd invitation and went to the wedding. Things are ok between us, but a little tense, not entirely the same. I told my friend I felt slighted by this very late invitation etc., but she explained how she felt. We agreed to disagree. There is some tension, but I think it isn't so much this wedding thing...but more because they have had some financial and other difficulties in recent years. Event #2.Flash forward...now another child is having a milestone event. Let's say it is a college graduation. She sent me the invitation a few days in advance to the party. (not the graduation). There are potential mitigating circumstances to this situation. And this event isn't as "big" as the other. We talked on the phone recently and she mentioned that she was excited about going to event #2. I told her I just got the invitation. She replied "Oh that...I just sent you that so that you would be in the loop." I guess I'm oversensitive, because I did feel event #1 was out of line. I don't truly feel that way about Event #2...but certainly don't feel great about it either. If you are having a milestone event...college graduation celebration, wedding shower, baby shower, engagement party, etc. and want to almost "announce" this to others...but don't exactly wish to invite them to the event...how does one handle it? What is the proper thing to do? It could be interpreted as "please send a gift." I was going to send a gift whether I got this announcement or not. It almost just calls attention to not being truly invited to the party...in this particular case, I don't know how I would handle it myself. Maybe just send an announcement .... NOT an invitation to a party a few days before the party. In the case of a baby shower...send a baby announcement. In case of a graduation grom college...send an announcement...not an invitation to a graduation party a fe4w days before the party and use that as the announcement. Thoughts? Also...should I take offtense that somehow she seems to truly enjoy going to our events, but doesn't seem to want us at hers? She has a large family and this at least in part, seems to be the issue. I'm baffeled. My other friends tell me you don't treat decade old friends this way. Again, baffeled.