Is difficult child 1 finally starting to get it? (I hope I'm not jinxing myself!)

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Californiablonde, May 15, 2012.

  1. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    On Mother's day we were all at my mom's house and difficult child 1 was being her incredibly selfish, difficult self. We (my brother, my mom and I ) had finally had enough. A simple request to get her back pack out of my mom's car set her off into a tyrade about how all of us horrible people were always up in her business with these overly demanding requests. difficult child 1 is the laziest kid on this earth when it comes to doing anything for herself. She would rather throw trash on the living room floor than pick herself up off her lazy butt and walk three feet to the trash can and throw it away properly. The same thing with her dirty laundry. Heaven forbid she pick up her clothes off of the bathroom floor and actually walk them over to the laundry basket when she is done. Instead she leaves them in a pile on the floor and has the nerve to tell me that I am the one who's lazy for not picking up after HER mess.

    Any attempt to get her to pick up after herself is met with a huge attitude along with whining and crying and refusal to do what she is told. More often than not, she has her cell phone in her hand and when I attempt to take it away from her for not minding, she pushes me and runs away. She is stronger and faster than me so I can't compete. Eventually I give up and she ends up getting her own way. I was not about to give up on Sunday in front of my family members because I did not want to appear weak, although I hate to admit that when it comes to difficult children I am the worst when it comes to standing my ground.

    We battled back and forth for quite some time, and my brother finally stepped in because he could no longer take it. He gave her a big lecture about respecting adults. Gave her the same "When you get a job and if you argue with your boss you will get fired" speech that I have given her many, many times before him. difficult child's response: I won't be dumb enough to argue with my boss because there will be repercussions if I do and I wouldn't want to get fired." My mom stepped in and said in a half way joking manner that difficult child could use boot camp to teach her how to respect her elders. difficult child then went on a rampage about how the people who run boot camps physically hurt the kids and that if we ever sent her away to one of them, she would disown us all for life.

    My brother then interjected and asked her if she was so worried about being physically abused, then why does she hit and push me around? He told her she should treat others the way she would want to be treated. difficult child flat out denied ever hitting me. She would only admit to lightly pushing my arm away ONCE when I tried to take away her cell phone. In reality, she has pushed my whole body hard on several ocassions and has hit me at least once. She denied screaming, yelling, and cussing at me in the mornings when I try to wake her up. She finally gave in and admitted she did it because my voice is annoying to her.

    After about an hour of lecturing, difficult child finally relented and got her back pack out of my mom's car, albeit begrudgingly. After we left she calmed down and did not say another word about it. I didn't think anything we had said got through to her, but for the past couple of days she has been getting out of bed the FIRST time I ask her, and hasn't yelled or argued once! Now it's only been two days since the blowout on Mother's day, but right now I'm cautiously optimistic that SOMEthing we said to her finally got through. She hasn't been this agreeable in months. She's even been complaining less, even when things haven't necessarily been going her way. I hope I am not jumping the gun here but I am rather enjoying difficult child's behavior in the last couple of days. I know I'm probably jinxing it but I am going to enjoy this for however long it lasts.
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Ummm... Dad used to do this... couldn't make his own kids do a doggone thing, but the cousins? THEIR Dads used to think my Dad was incredible!

    The message came from somebody other than you... who still has a vested interest in her future. It's not a therapist. It's a relative, but not somebody she lives with. And sometimes... they can get through when we can't.
  3. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Hmmmm....who knows, maybe something got through! We can only hope right? I try to enjoy the time even if there is a chance it will not last, we get so few of these days right???? hugs!
  4. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    And sometimes they can get away with saying the things that we really want to say, but just don't!

    I agree that because it was your brother who said something to her that she actually might have heard it. Alot of times I think that when we talk to our difficult children they hear what Charlie Brown hears when his teacher would talk to him. Waa Waaa Waaa. They tune us out. Have it come from someone else and the message stands a better chance of getting through.
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Wow! Can your mom and brother come live with-me?
  6. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Well that was short lived. Big argument last night over something stupid. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.