Is it apnea? Is it depression? Is it normal burnout?

[gcvmom]

husband has been really tired lately. Actually, he's been tired for a long time. I think a lot is due in part to his sleep apnea (he snores a LOT). Then I thought maybe his medications were contributing. (Lamictal before and now Trileptal -- plus Paxil).

But this last week was really not normal. He had a busy week before. Then he announced last Saturday he didn't want to do anything but watch TV and he promised to tend to chores on Sunday. But on Sunday, same thing -- watched movies all day. Then he had to go in to work early Monday and Tuesday for phone conferences at 7am both days. Then Wednesday, he decides to work from home and has another 7am conference call, and another one at 9am. Then at 10am he goes back to bed and sleeps until FIVE IN THE AFTERNOON!!!! Then he calls in sick on Thursday and sleeps until 10am when I wake him up because the restoration crew is here to clean the soot off the windows and blinds throughout the house and they need to get into our room. So he gets up and goes to the livingroom to watch TV the rest of the day. I go out to run errands and he calls at 12:30 asking me to bring home lunch. After we eat, my afternoon kicks into high gear with collecting kids from school, homework and sports practices. Then I cook dinner and husband manages to empty the dishwasher and cleans up the dinner dishes (which he rarely does). I leave him to help difficult child 2 with his mountain of homework while I take difficult child 1 to his orchestra concert. When we get back at 9:30pm, they're all watching a movie on TV (at least the homework was done) and no one is ready for bed.

Okay, so it just feels like he is slipping into a depressive rut. He says he's not depressed, just feels burned out. He did go back to work today, but he still looks really tired.

I want him to go to the GP for a referral for a sleep study.

I'm just wondering what else is going on, if anything.

His mood has been really even and he's not grumpy or irritable. He may be a bit dissatisfied with a few things right now, but I don't really get why he's sleeping so much. He's got a lot of 1/2 finished projects that are piling up now over the past few months and it's starting to bug me.

 

[crazymama30]

I wish I could narrow it down for you, but it could be any of them. Has he had a sleep study? If he has apnea, would he be willing to wear a cpap? They are not comfortable. Good luck, and I hope this gets sorted out soon.

 

[gcvmom]

No, he hasn't had a study. I want him to have one next month. They told us when he was in the ICU after his surgery last February that he had apnea (the pain medications he was on made him stop breathing periodically... I had to shake him to get him to start breathing again!) And he's a chronic snorer.

I don't know if he'd wear the CPAP or not. But he needs to do something. He's turning into a slug.

 

[susiestar]

Can you make him go in for a checkup? Or even just call the doctor and ask him to schedule the sleep study based on what they told you in the hospital?

My husband was SO slug-like when before he got the CPAP. I was sure he had apnea, based on years listening to him snore. It took less than 2 hours of the sleep study for them to call the doctor and get an order to try the CPAP. And he felt AMAZING the next morning.

My husband says his CPAP is not uncomfortable - he has trouble now trying to sleep with-o it.

I would do my darndest to get this looked at ASAP, esp if your husband is as tired as you say.

Also, could it have any relationship to the craniotomy and the medications? This may be something you have to look at very closely. Will he allow you to talk to his docs?

 

[klmno]

My layman's opinion (which isn't worth much) - depression can cause a desire for more sleep-and still not feeling rested after a lot of sleep; I hear (and see in difficult child) that after a manic or hypomanic period, there can be a greater need for sleep; but I also think that if a person is starting to feel a little overwhelmed or worried or other things that can make them depressed, that a little extra sleep and rest might help deter serious depression. That's just MHO, of course, if he has had a busy week and things have been hectic, maybe he is just tired.

 

[Hound dog]

If husband looks tired......he probably is tired. I'd get him to the fam doctor for a check up and request a sleep study. Or you could get a referral to a good ENT guy and he can check husband out and do the sleep study if he thinks it's necessary.

husband had the a vast amount of his pharynx redone. Too much tissue back there......some heridity some due to being over wieght.....and a deviated spetum were the culprits. He snored so loud people could hear him with the windows closed 2 doors down. (not kidding)

He no longer snores. He still sleeps so sound a bomb could go off in his ear and he'd never wake up. lol But the apnea is gone. husband had it so bad I'd have to whack him often during the night. Shaking him had stopped working.

Losing your sound sleep can be exhausting. Even after sleeping 9 or more hours people with sleep apnea wake up exhausted or feeling lousy.

If a check up and sleep test doesn't show anything......then I'd look into the depression.

by the way my husband still will sleep given the opportunity at any time of the day. But then, he's lazy. lol

Hugs

 

[gcvmom]

While I think the apnea is contributing, I'm also wondering if the Paxil needs to go a bit higher. He was at 40mg before he started the wean off it in October and at the time he was a very pleasant and very productive person. Right now he's only at 20mg, and although he's not a grouch anymore, he's not really doing much either.

Once again he did very little around the house today. He got up at 8am and when we got back from easy child's first Allstar game, he took another nap from about 10:45am until 1:00pm when we had to leave for easy child's second Allstar game today. He took the kids out for an early bite to eat and did about 30 minutes of grocery shopping after the game, then supposedly took some Christmas boxes out of the attic (still no lights up, and he hasn't brought the tree in for me yet). He's been upstairs watching TV for the past three or four hours. When I came home from Christmas shopping tonight at 10:30pm, the kids were all still up watching cartoons downstairs (and difficult child 1 was playing a game on the computer he is BANNED from using right now) while he's in our room with the TV on.

If I sound a little irritated, I AM!

 

[timer lady]

As frustrated as you sound I cannot remember why your husband had his craniotomy? Seizures, tumor, blood clot?

If he's having seizure activity it would make him extremely tired & somewhat out of it; I haven't had surgery but the brain injury I suffered almost a year ago still leaves me physically exhausted (the medications I take don't help either). There are some days that I sleep all day then to proceed a good portion of the night.

Just a thought.

 

[Lothlorien]

I was thinking the same thing as Linda....wondering if he's having any seizure activity, which could cause him to be sleepy. I would have him checked out, anyway. He could actually just have a case of mono or Epstein Barr...simple blood test could figure that out. I get Epstein Barr when I get run down and it causes me to sleep a lot. If that's it, then he really does need to rest, A LOT, in order to get rid of it.

 

[gcvmom]

Linda, he had a cluster of leaking capillaries (cavernoma) that caused simple-partial/autonomic seizures (and the cluster was growing, that's why we opted to take it out). He is not yet completely free of seizures, but they are fairly mild and happen a few times a week. In fact, no one but he and I ever know when he's actually in the midst of a seizure because they are so subtle. Before the surgery they were pretty strong at times and did make him tired for a while. But now they don't seem as severe. He's supposed to go back to see the neuro in January (he sees the psychiatrist then, too). I just thought maybe the Paxil has taken the edge off things but not addressed his depression completely since he's only at 1/2 of what he was at before.

Hopefully I can get him to go see the GP next week and get the ball rolling on the sleep aspect of this soon. We can address the medication/seizure/mood portion of this next month at his other appointments hopefully.