Good evening everyone! I finally managed to get all the kiddos to bed, and with 30 minutes of time to myself before my bedtime!! That is a rare treat here lately. I have a question and maybe this one is best left to the PDR, but I am hoping that some of you may have a few pointers. There was an instance in the last month where we phased out one of our difficult child's medications because it was causing more adverse side effects than it was helping. Ever since she caught on to the idea that some of her medications may cause her problems, she has lost even MORE control over behavior and has gotten even more out of control, and then when we talk about it after she calms down, she is blaming her behavior on her medication. We had behavior problems before the new medication was added (the Focalin, 10mg) but they were at least somewhat controllable. While taking the Focalin, we found her to be uncontrollable and even violent at times, kicking and hitting at anything, or anyONE she could get her hands on. This is what prompted us to stop the medication (after a long conversation with the PDR about what we were seeing from her). When we stopped the medications, we expected that after a week or so, things would go back to the way they were, but they have not. She is still blaming her medication for her fits of rage and violence. The ability to separate the behavioral issues from medication side effects is very important especially now that she will be seeing the new PDR next month, who we are already pleading with to focus MORE on the ODD and BiPolar (BP) and LESS on the ADHD until the others are controlled. We expect that there will be some dramatic changes in ALL of her medication, so we want to make sure that PDR is giving her stuff that will help, not hurt her. I know they are trained to watch for things like this, but our difficult child can be very manipulative, even with highly trained professionals, as she has DUPED her current PDR on SEVERAL occasions. I just don't want to see that happen again. I also wanted to note that, while we have all of these behavioral issues at home, we hear NOTHING but glowing reports from the school about how GREAT she is there, and she also spends after-school hours with my parents, who have NO behavioral problems with her at all, even when she is asked to do something she doesn't want to do. I just don't understand when she goes around telling everyone that she doesn't behave this way on purpose, that she CAN'T controll it, how she manages to control it wonderfully for everyone else but us???????? I guess I should note that my mother, who she spends her after-school time with has a degree in psychology and is trained to handle children with behavioral problems, has been a huge help. She has given me much insight the last few months, pointed out some things that I should watch for, and brought up different things that need to be discussed with her PDR and her therapist. Up until the transition to living with us took place, she had hit what her therapist calls a "plateau" where she was still acting out in ways that needed to be dealt with, but she was not a danger to herself, or to anyone else. At that point, her therapist had decided to keep seeing her, once a week, but was not in a huge rush to try to force our difficult child to talk. (She is unwilling and completely opposed to talking about her feelings with her therapist, they sit there for an hour while she tries to find every excuse and distraction she can to avoid answering uncomfortable questions). But now that things have spiraled out of control so quickly and she has become a danger to herself, as well as to others, she is finding a more pressing need to get all of this out in the open and dealt with ASAP. The issue remains, that she refuses to seek help with her problems, and without working on them, she is afraid that difficult child is going to continue to get worse. There has been discussion of admitting her to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC), which we have been trying to avoid, especially after everything she has been through in the past, but if it comes down to it (since she has been "SASS"ed) and a recommendation is made for Residential Treatment Center (RTC), it will be immediately court ordered and we will not have a choice in the matter. In Illinois, SASS'ed means that at one point or another, someone has called the crisis intervention line, and they have sent someone out on an emergency call to evaluate the difficult child. If the SASS worker finds that she needs to be brought into their program, they are assigned a worker who will see them at least once a week, sometimes everyday, if necessary, and will monitor their progress. If it is determined that a child needs to be put in this program, the workers in the program have the power to admit her to the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) of their choice, at any given time, without parental consent. The following day, a court order is issued that will forbid a parent from being able to withdraw a child from the program until the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) feels that she is rehabilitated. I know explaining it like that sounds HORRIBLE, but these workers are very well trained and they will not ORDER a child into an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) without SERIOUS concern for the safety of the child, or others in the child's presence. So, it isn't like they just run around the state picking off problem children and shoving them into some hospital. Some of you may be familiar with this program in IL, or some of you may be involved with a similar program in your own state. But the benefit is, with your child in this program, there is always a crisis worker available 24/7 that has full access to your child's mental health record (case files are studied on a regular basis, so when a worker is called to a home, they already know much about the child they are going to see), so they aren't just some random person showing up trying to deal with a difficult situation with no knowledge of your child's background (which is most of the time what you will get if you call any normal 1-800 crisis line.) Tonight, our difficult child was in a very "oppositional" mood, and at one point, looked at one of our two dogs (the one she doesn't particularly "like") and for no reason stated that if he stuck his tongue out at her and tried to lick her, that she would take a pair of scissors and cut his tongue out. (ALL sharp objects in our house have been locked in a box that only her father and I have access to, so this isn't a possibility, but the thought that she said it was enough for me.) Per the advice of her therapist, there were also important issues that needed to be discussed involving keeping everyone in the house safe. I made sure to explain very clearly to her that if she gets upset and turns violent, that crisis will be called immediately, and she will be properly restrained until they arrive. At this point, upset that we would restrain her, she comes out and says that if we leave bruises on her she will "sue us". Which is a very complicated situation in itself, because she was placed in our home BY CPS, so they are already very involved in our home, and our difficult child's caseworker is fresh out of college, our difficult child is her first real "case" and she has no background whatsoever with strong-willed, defiant, and/or violent children. She is more worried about one of us accidentally twisting our difficult child's arm while she is fighting restraint than she is that, if left unrestrained, our difficult child may seriously injure someone, possibly one of our smaller children. This has become such a concern, that, her therapist, who is supposed to be coaching us on the proper time and the proper techniques to restrain a child, is scared to do so without them telling her it is okay, because she doesn't want them coming back to her one day in the future saying that it is all her fault that our difficult child got a bruise on her arm while fighting restraint by one of the techniques she told us to use. Sorry this is so much, but I just needed to vent a little tonight. Hope to hear back from some of you again, I was very comforted by the responses I received to my Introduction Post.