timer lady
Queen of Hearts
I had our final family therapy appointment with kt at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) today. It was very emotional AND much needed to be said.
First kt asked why, after all she & wm threw at husband & myself, we didn't "trade us in for better kids". I sat there stunned ~ therapist stepped in & said "You & wm were very lucky - your parents are gems." kt beamed at that.
In the meantime, I set up some very basic rules that kt must follow. therapist & I had discussed kt's closure appointment with her & psychiatrist the day before. psychiatrist asked, after her last discharge (remember last May, folks), when did she know that it wasn't going to work here at home. kt replied - 3 weeks. So therapist & kt discussed that; therapist discussed that with me before our appointment today. Asked me to give kt permission to let me know if/when it was too much for her to be here at home.
I promised to not fall apart ~ I told therapist that as a mom this is the last thing I want to say to my child. I want her home & healthy & functioning.
I told kt this afternoon that it's okay to let me know if she felt she couldn't make it here for whatever reason we would find another place for her to continue her very intense therapy that was cut short. I didn't want our relationship permanently damaged because of the emotional demands a family places on her. kt was in tears but thanked me for that freedom.
kt & I will check in daily - feelings, chores, fun & life in general. If kt feels in over her head she will tell me & I will call mental health case manager to put Plan B in place.
kt has worked her behind off during this Residential Treatment Center (RTC) placement. She's grown in many ways; has lots to keep working on (her GAF is only 38). Boundaries, self respect & empowerment after the abuse she suffered in bio home. That haunts her.
Thanks for letting me "talk".
First kt asked why, after all she & wm threw at husband & myself, we didn't "trade us in for better kids". I sat there stunned ~ therapist stepped in & said "You & wm were very lucky - your parents are gems." kt beamed at that.
In the meantime, I set up some very basic rules that kt must follow. therapist & I had discussed kt's closure appointment with her & psychiatrist the day before. psychiatrist asked, after her last discharge (remember last May, folks), when did she know that it wasn't going to work here at home. kt replied - 3 weeks. So therapist & kt discussed that; therapist discussed that with me before our appointment today. Asked me to give kt permission to let me know if/when it was too much for her to be here at home.
I promised to not fall apart ~ I told therapist that as a mom this is the last thing I want to say to my child. I want her home & healthy & functioning.
I told kt this afternoon that it's okay to let me know if she felt she couldn't make it here for whatever reason we would find another place for her to continue her very intense therapy that was cut short. I didn't want our relationship permanently damaged because of the emotional demands a family places on her. kt was in tears but thanked me for that freedom.
kt & I will check in daily - feelings, chores, fun & life in general. If kt feels in over her head she will tell me & I will call mental health case manager to put Plan B in place.
kt has worked her behind off during this Residential Treatment Center (RTC) placement. She's grown in many ways; has lots to keep working on (her GAF is only 38). Boundaries, self respect & empowerment after the abuse she suffered in bio home. That haunts her.
Thanks for letting me "talk".