It was bound to happen.

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Jabberwockey, Oct 28, 2016.

  1. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    Lil got a call from our son about an hour, hour and a half ago. He's in full on meltdown mode. The homeless guy who he was supposed to go to Denver with, left about 4 hours ago to pick up a friend. All of our son's stuff was in his car, back pack, blankets, coat, even phone charger. Can't get him to understand that we cant look into options if we're stuck on the phone listening to him rant. Long story short, Lil just money grammed him $100 dollars for a hotel for the night and a meal. I agreed for her sake. We will find out tomorrow if he wants to come home.
     
  2. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    Ugh...the saga continues...we so get it.

    Why oh why do they leave their stuff around? Shocked when our kid didn't have his wallet...oops...geez...never ends.
     
  3. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    Sorry. Meant to delete this but wasnt quick enough.
     
  4. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    Hopefully he will start to learn and understand that he needs to be more careful in who he chooses to trust.
    Let us know how things go.
     
  5. blackgnat

    blackgnat Active Member

    This sux and I feel is typical of our DCs behavior-they often place their trust in people who don't deserve it. I haven't read the backstory, so forgive me if I'm making assumptions.

    Unfortunately, it's often MY Difficult Child who is the scammer, so I'm not even sure I should be commenting . I just know that he wasn't raised that way, but isn't that what most of us have experienced?

    So sorry that this is happening-I totally relate to the panic you must be feeling-and as much as I hate how my son is living, I can't even imagine how scared he must be most of the time...especially when this kind of thing happens.

    Sending good vibes through the airwaves.
     
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  6. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    It's not like I was excited about this. I simply didn't know what else to do. He was with this guy for some time. The same one who they were going to bike to Denver, then the guy got a car and they were going to drive. Wednesday he called, had been in a fight over some girl and wasn't able to get the card I sent so he'd have an address, so he could sell plasma. I sent him some gas money, not much, but enough to fill a tank so he could go. He's been sleeping in the car with this guy. So all his worldly goods, his backpack, his phone charger, his clothing, his blanket, tent, even his jacket. He literally had the clothes on his back, his phone and his license. He said his "friend" told him he was picking up a friend...and never came back, wasnt answering calls or texts...it had been 4 hours. It's going to be 40 degrees tonight and the shelter is full. He was screaming and freaking out, then later started sobbing.

    I just didn't know what else to do.

    We told him if it turns out the guy has ripped him off, we can buy him a ticket home. He doesn't really want to come. He feels like a failure and posted out he has no one and nothing here, except us, and he can't live with us forever. I told him, no, he couldn't. But he could get a job, start over, and make new friends.

    I don't really want him home. I thought we'd at least have time to prepare if that were to happen.

    I had a massage today and a nice last day of my vacation. I feel like that brought this on...like I can never have a good time or it will just fall apart. Like a jinx.
     
  7. blackgnat

    blackgnat Active Member

    My son is in CO. He was BIG MATES with a guy whom he THOUGHT was a kindred spirit. Totally on the same page. Shared a lot of experiences.

    I met this guy. He was really nice, respectful, humble, polite, thoughtful, etc.

    He had a trade and lots of family in Rhode Island. Wanted to go back there and wanted my son to go with him. Told him that there'd be NO problems about getting a job, having a roof over his head,etc. The whole kit and caboodle.

    They plan to go back to RI. Guy says that the state has a ticket paid for-CO to RI-and he just has to go to the Greyhound Bus Station to pick it up. Difficult Child asks his dad if he can borrow $300 to go with the Guy. Dad says yes, if it's all good. Difficult Child says yes. Dad trusts him.

    Departure day- Difficult Child calls and says that something didn't work out. Guy DOESN'T have a pre-paid ticket. The only ticket on file is the one that Difficult Child bought. Guy is undone. In tears. HAS to get home to Mom in RI. Difficult Child says, "Here, take MY ticket. You can pay me back when you get out there. Or send me the $ when you get your job, you know, the one that I'll be doing with you, the one that you promised would happen..."

    No surprises here. Never hear a WORD from Guy. Guy is in RI, living his life, on someone else's dime. Difficult Child calls Guy. Difficult Child calls Mom. No answer from anyone. Dad is out $300. Difficult Child is still in CO, hustling.

    That was 2 years ago. Life is hard.
     
  8. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    Lil, you did what you felt was best for both of you. It's never easy to make a decision when it comes to our d c's.

    No, you did not bring this on. Your son made a very poor choice in who he trusted. That has nothing to do with you. All that you have been through with him and how you have stood by him and helped him time and time again, you deserve to have a massage every day. Don't let his actions drain the color from the pleasant things in your life.
     
  9. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    It's such a shame that there are so many people out there trying to scam others. I'm sure my son has done his fair share of scamming people.
     
  10. A dad

    A dad Active Member

    Do you know the expression trick me once shame on you trick me twice shame on me. No matter the age you will get tricked but its on the tricksters if it only happened once you can not blame somebody for getting tricked its not fair for the one tricked.
    I am sorry but most people are good and we cannon live our life in fear somebody will hurt us because the truth is we have no way to protect ourselves the only thing that keeps most of safe is that most of us are good people that will not hurt others.
     
  11. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    What a lousy life lesson. The guy may have gotten high and was passed out somewhere. Maybe he will be back.
     
  12. Albatross

    Albatross Well-Known Member

    That would be my first guess.

    Sadly, this is what happens, given whom they are hanging out with.

    Sadly, sometimes they exaggerate too, though I don't think your son is at that point, Lil and Jabber.

    Son called me panicked a couple of months ago that he was "mugged" while walking through the park and they took his backpack, tent, sleeping bag, clothes, everything he owned except his wallet.

    This was the 4th time he's been "mugged," so I suggested maybe the shelter or a church could help him out with replacement items.

    When he left the shelter to camp in the woods about a week later, I asked him how he was doing so with no tent or sleeping bag. Mysteriously, all of a sudden it was not his main backpack that was stolen, it was the little one with just a sweatshirt in it. He still had all of his camping equipment...
     
  13. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Uggg....

    I am so sorry for him.

    I hope he returns home and starts over, maybe a little wiser this time.

    I would definately have sent the money.

    Apple
     
  14. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    When people buck the mainstream and want to haveoney without working, they don't find people who have morals in their lifestyle. Most people their ages are in college or working full tome...planning life. It is hard to befriend people who are living a good, ethical life when you just wander around and don't work. So it makes sense that they only meet this kind of person.

    I hope your son goes back to his normal working life once he gets home. That is the only way he will attract healthy people.
     
  15. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    I'd told him I'd wait up to hear if he got a place. I was worried the hotel would want a card to secure it. But his phone was off. Finally, at 11 our time, 10 his, I sent a text that I was done in and going to bed. Woke up to a text at 12 our time that he just got a phone charger and had a room.

    I don't know what today will bring. Maybe the guy came back. Maybe he'll want to come back. For the price of a ticket, I could buy a new tent, sleeping bag and coat on line and he could pick them up and stay. Not sure what would be right at this point. Jabber went hunting and it's only 7:30 son's time. As always with him, it's a waiting game.
     
  16. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    My hubby is out hunting, too. Pheasants.

    Hope the guy comes back, but not holding my breath. Sounds fishy. We can hope, though....
     
  17. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Yes. It is fishy. This morning I'm being told the car was impounded and now getting a new tire and the guy is coming back. I told him it sounds fishy. I also don't think he's a good enough actor to make up his level of distress last night. So I don't know. Maybe he's playing us. Maybe his life is really that chaotic. I don't want him home. I want him to get his :censored2: together.
     
  18. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Things really have to hit some of our kids over the head several times before they begin to see the need to make changes. I believe your son is basically a kind hearted person who just does not understand that other people are capable of being not so kind. He seems genuinely surprised when people do him wrong.
     
  19. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    No, I don't think your son is making this up. The other guy sounds fishy. Probably not a good long-term solution to stay with the guy, even if he does come back. He may just randomly leave again with your sons stuff, or get him into some terrible situation.

    Maybe his leaving is actually a good thing?
     
  20. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    I agree with this. He does genuinely seem so hurt when someone treats him badly, but the problem is he is too instantly trusting. He meets someone and they are immediately his friend. He's the same with women. If he likes a girl, it's love and serious. Then when someone doesn't live up to his high expectations, it's, "Why does everyone do this? Am I just worthless? Is the universe against me? Why does it never work?"