It'll be a week, tomorrow.


Well-Known Member
It'll be a week tomorrow that husband has been on the Paxil. He says he doesn't really feel any different other than dry mouth, etc. He is spending more time interacting with me, and less on the computer. I know full well that there aren't really any therapeutic affects this early on, but that it can make people feel a little 'high'.

He does seem to get some genuine laughs out of the dog's silly antics. We had talked at the therapists' on Wednesday about how it helps to try to engage yourself in enjoyable activities, even if you think you don't enjoy them anymore, as the endorphans will eventually start to flow whether you think they will or not. Unless there is something really seriously wrong. He has moved his pillows closer to me in bed so that we are snuggling more. He really is trying.

I guess I hadn't realized how shell-shocked I was. He was so adept at hiding his misery, and now I question his behavioral changes when he admits he feels no changes. But would he admit he felt changes if he did? He found it almost impossible to admit he was unhappy. Would he pretend he felt better if he didn't? Gads, I am so tired of trying to get into his head. I want the changes he is showing to be real, but I want even less for him to be disguising reality and unable to ask for help or a change in medications if he realizes that this isn't working.

Anyway, off I go to work. I have promised myself that I am giving the boss my notice that I am quitting today unless her appointment calendar is full again... I think she is avoiding me because she knows I want to quit.

UGH! :thumbsdown:


My husband is in desperate need of something. He went once many years ago to a psychiatrist for himself. Prior to difficult child. psychiatrist wanted to put him on zoloft. He refused. He doesn't want any drugs in his system. Afraid of side effects down the road. I let him be, thinking that someday he will realize he doesn't WANT to feel that way. Now I am just use to his cold heartedness towards me. he doesn't even sleep inthe same room. For many years. I am not even home at night most nights. When I am he isn't in the room. My husband would DEFINATELY not admit to feeling anything. He said he has never been hung over, he says he hasn't ever had to much to drink. I know better. (doesn't drink often.) Maybe one beer a week. But back in the day...I know better. Would never admit to feeling anything.


New Member
Sadly, I never felt much in a positive way on any medications. Unlike recreational drugs, the Rx'ed psychiatric medications did not ever make me feel suddenly or obviously "better" Most often they made me feel worse, sometimes suddenly worse, sometimes gradually. Any positive effects were more often noted by those around me. BUT I do have to say I did not really care much if others thought I seemed better to them if I felt crummy. So- if I were haveing negative side effects or adverse reactions, it did not matter to me if my husband thought I "behaved" better.


Well-Known Member
Kjs, that is so sad. I know that I am very lucky that husband wants to try. I love him very much and would be lost without him.

Dreamer, I tried different drugs for years, and got temporary relief, but I would still have meltdowns and be druggy for days. The SRI's weren't terribly helpful, but the wellbutrin has helped. therapist was very helpful - at least to me - last week in explaining how the different medications work, how we can monitor whether it is working and when to try something different or change the dosage, and about being careful to not abruptly stop the medications without checking with the doctor.

RM, I know it is early days. I think I am a little worried about voicing my concerns at this point, and I'm sure it would be unfair to do so to husband. That's why I love being able to say these things here. I don't have to worry that I will hurt or sabotage anything!


Active Member
I think he could really be getting the effect of the medicine. It is early, but I will tell you I knew I felt better the very first day I took Lexapro, another SSRI. Mostly, I noticed that things that used to irritate me were no longer irritating. With difficult child, I could see a difference right away also but I was afraid to think it was working.

easy child started Zoloft recently and the psychiatrist said some people daughter see a difference pretty quickly. He told me that if it works quickly, it is because there is a large anxiety component to the depression. If it is more depression and less anxiety, it will take longer.