and I sit here awake. husband's pain has been horrendous, he went to see the pain doctor on Friday and got a fentanyl injection and multiple injections in the left hip. Pain was so bad he could barely walk. It has not gotten any better. Now it is the right hip. I don't know what we are going to do. He cannot go on like this for much longer, no one could. It is horrible. Pain doctor ultrasounded the left hip and saw an abnormality, something really strange (I was not there so I have no idea what). He slept from 8 or 9pm to midnight, got up and is now sitting on the couch asleep, but with a look of pain on his face even while he sleeps. I don't want to go back into the bed, if he gets up and tries to get off the couch by himself he will fall. He can barely hold himself up the pain is so bad. He has an appointment with primary doctor tommorrow to go over bloodwork, and while it will be very hard to get him there, I think he needs to go just to get his condition documented. I don't know what to do. I need to work, have to work, but hate to leave. I will come home to take him to the doctor, but at the rate I am going I don't know how much good I will be at work. I hope I can get some sleep at some point. I will call pain doctor as soon as the office opens tommorrow, but I really don't know what they are going to do. At this point he needs to be hospitalized to get his pain under control, but that will be no fun either. None of this is fun, and I am not sure how much more of this either of us can take. It just seems to never stop. My biggest fear is that if they cannot do something, he will take his own life. He cannot live in this amount of pain, in this agony. I am so scared yet numb at the same time, numb from all the **** that has come before, and will continue to come, and from seeing him in agony all the time. I hate the pain, it changes him. I understand why, but it does not make it any easier to deal with. He gets so irritable, anxious and paranoid. Then I start to worry that the pain is going to trigger the BiPolar (BP). I am rambling, and might try to get some sleep myself now. thanks for all who listen, and please send thoughts our way.