It's Been A Long Time Coming.....

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by mom_to_3, Sep 2, 2014.

  1. mom_to_3

    mom_to_3 Active Member

    I got a message from my difficult child on my Facebook Wall this morning. We have struggled for many years with our difficult child daughter and It's been very difficult. She has a difficult child 10 yr. old son who is putting her through the paces right now. I'm pretty sure he already has the conduct disorder label from the psychiatrists he has seen. I don't envy her at all, but so many of the things she calls to tell me about or ask about are the very same exact things that she did. What a delicate balance this is trying to advise her! While we feel like failures as parents and so sad about the circumstances of raising our difficult child's it really touched me that she would share this with me. It's been a long time coming.......... and I thought I would share.

    You gave me some really good advice when I called asking for help. I implemented that advice (to use positive reinforcement) and have seen a lot of changes in this house. It's such a relief to get rid of some of the negativity. I haven't always been able to see eye to eye with you but I've come to value and appreciate your wisdom and experience. It means a lot to me that the few times I've reached out, you were there. I wanted to take a moment to thank you for helping me keep my head on straight and giving me strength when I thought I was running out. Thanks, Mom.
    • Like Like x 4
    • Winner Winner x 3
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
    • List
  2. Echolette

    Echolette Well-Known Member

    Wow! How beautiful. I"m so happy for you that you were able to hear that, and that she was able to feel it.

    Thank you for sharing.

  3. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Wonderful, thanks so much for sharing that with us. I am happy for you........ and for your daughter to be able to feel that level of gratitude for you, just great!!
  4. hopeandjoy66

    hopeandjoy66 Member

    It makes you think that there is always hope for our difficult child. No matter how unlikely. Only God knows their path. Mom, how wonderful for you to actually be recognized for your wisdom. What progress. You have given us all a little bit of hope today. Thanks.
  5. GuideMe

    GuideMe Active Member

    It's a beautiful step but why did she have to emphasize "the few times that I reached out to you"? I don't understand why that was even inserted?
  6. mom_to_3

    mom_to_3 Active Member

    GuideMe, I picked right up on that too. I don't know why she was specific to say that seeing as though she has called me many times and numerous times in hysterics. I've given up trying to understand all the things she does. I just try to take the good when I get the chance.

    Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app
  7. GuideMe

    GuideMe Active Member

    Yeah, I pretty much figured it was more than just a "few" times. I guess because I am dealing with a teenager right now, my sensory is in over drive and can see things like this in a heart beat. I didn't want to point that out to you and ruin your moment, but the pessimistic side of me chimed in and I felt like if I didn't say anything to at least warn you, than I would be in the wrong. Because things like this get our hopes up , and then BOOM we are blindsided because we didn't see something coming. However, at least it is an acknowledgement. For right now, that's what counts. The optimistic side of me is saying, it might be the first step for her into really realizing how wonderful you really are. These things take time.
  8. mom_to_3

    mom_to_3 Active Member

    Well, thanks for the "warning". My difficult child daughter will soon be 30 yrs. old. I will never be blindsided by her again. It's happened so many times in the past that I finally learned to not make her problems my problems. I am finally free! :) I use that phrase a lot, don't make your problems, my problems. I don't always say it, usually I don't. I think it. That phrase helps me to remember that I cannot fix everything for everybody even though that has been my nature. I've learned it's not healthy for me or anyone else. On the other hand I do have to give credit where credit is due.... My difficult child is still a difficult child, but she is doing soo much better than her teen years or even 5 yrs. ago! Thank the good lord! Look for the good, look for the good! lol
  9. GuideMe

    GuideMe Active Member

    That is great , good to hear. :)