I'm laid off right now and as fate would have it, SD (14) is grounded for lying. So it's been a long week for both of us. SD has spent the entire time when wife is at work (9-6, Mon-Fri) hiding in her room in the basement. She literally only comes upstairs once during the day, to get lunch. She makes herself something quick, and then takes her food back downstairs. She only speaks to me if I speak to her, and then I only get a one word reply. And most of the time she waits to come up until she hears that I'm out of the way -- having a shower or outside for some fresh air. Not once in the last week has she come upstairs to go to the bathroom, to get a drink or to see what the sun looks like. Just that one trip upstairs each day, as quick as she can do it. As soon as wife comes home, SD is willing to surface. She'll eat dinner with us, but if wife and I are both in the living room after dinner, SD goes back downstairs again. The only way she'll stay upstairs with wife is if I leave the room or the house altogether. On days when SD is home completely alone she spends most of her time upstairs -- playing video games, watching TV or just reading. But as soon as I'm in the house... downstairs she goes. This behaviour isn't anything new. At best, SD seems to tolerate my presence (which never lasts more than a few minutes), but most of the time she either acts like I don't exist, or like she wishes I didn't. But this is the first time we've spent the whole week like this, so it's really starting to wear on me. I had hoped that, if I was nice, friendly and respectful to SD, if I didn't try to disclipline her or act like I was her father, that she would warm up to me. But it's been 4 years now, and she's worse with me now than ever. Every now and then she warms up just a bit (like laughing at a joke I make or talking to me without attitude in her voice), and I think (hope) that things are starting to get better. But it never lasts. I normally wouldn't post about this, because so many people on here have stories so much worse than mine. But I'm just feeling really hurt by her right now. I'm a grown man, and I'm sitting here on the edge of tears because this child acts like she absolutely hates me, she won't tell me (or anyone else) why and she gives me no signs that its ever going to change. She would rather sit in her room all day, for days on end, then be in the same room as me for even a few minutes. I wonder sometimes what SD will be like with me 10 years from now. Will she realize how badly she's hurt me, when all I've tried to do is be good to her? Will she feel regret? Will she apologize? Will she change the way she is with me? Or will she continue to treat me badly? Will she come and visit wife, or will wife have to go and visit her... without me? Will she invite me to her wedding? Will I be allowed to see her children? wife (and I suspect many of you) prefer to focus on the here and now, but because there just aren't any good times with SD for me in the here and now, I can't help but hope that we'll have a better relationship in the future. Even though I have no reason to believe that will ever happen.