it's been a while ....

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by addie, Apr 14, 2009.

  1. addie

    addie New Member

    Hello, everyone.

    Some of you may remember me as addie.
    I think I was at an all-time stress-related low when I was last involved with this board. Since then, life got worse, but I hope that I got stronger, more mature, more responsible, and wiser.

    I want to apologize for the way I was when I was last here. I don't think I am welcome back under my old name so I have come in under this one, using a different email address, but it is not my intent to be sneaky.

    My intent is to simply drop in and see how those of you whom I remember have done ... how your difficult children have done. And, if you are interested, to tell you how mine have done. NOT well. But ... it's over. And I have learned a lot ... I am no longer tilting at windmills. More "que sera, sera".

    If I am not welcome on this board, I understand. I was addicted in the past, though not towards the end when I guess I was (for whatever reason) troublesome and difficult. It's been quite a few years, and I don't need the board any more ... but I would seriously like to catch up with some of you. Suz, Fran, Star, Nomad, tiredmommy, dammitjanet ... just some of the names I have glimpsed on here today, and whom I remember.

    If you would rather I was not here, please do what you do, administrators ... block me or whatever. I deserve it. I was a mess. I could handle what kids threw at me, but I could not handle adults.

    If anyone would like to contact me privately, my email is:

    I won't do a profile just yet, until I see if I can stay.

    And meantime, I would like to ask you to forgive me, Fran. I was well out of order, out of line, out of my head at times.

    I have changed. I needed to.

    Lasted edited by : Apr 15, 2009
  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Hi red_head and welcome back. I edited out your email address because we don't allow them to be publicly posted any longer due to privacy concerns. Please go to your User CP (control panel) and verify under Edit Options that you have enabled the personal messaging feature so that others can reach you via the PM system. :)
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am dying to know who you are since you seem to remember me!
  4. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Welcome back. I hope that life is better for you than it was before. I was formally katmom, and I think I remember your story. It seemed you were in a lot of pain, and at the time. I think this place is pretty understanding of that.

    Update on my difficult child---He is doing great. He worked 63 hours last week. He is working in a restaurant as the main cook. He left the company last Oct, when the season ended (we live in a tourist driven community) and they started calling in Feb. wanting him back. They finally offered him the right amount of money, and he went back after giving his other a job a chance to counter the offer. He likes cooking and hopes to train to be a 4* chef if the right opportunity presents itself to him. He still has him moments, especially when he is anxious about something, but he is no longer stealing and getting in trouble with the law. He is not using any hard drugs---but still smokes pot instead of taking prescriptions drugs for the Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD).

    Let us know how you and yours are.
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well now that I think I know who you are, I am thrilled to see/read you again!

    I have been through the wringer with Cory but I bet you arent too shocked at that news. He is doing pretty well now though. He finally moved out of my house last fall right before I got really sick and scared the board to death by almost dying on them. The board saved my life with their prayers and chicken liver (They really did...the board was the first thing I blinked to when I came out of the coma!)

    Cory and Jamie both have little girls for me to love. Corys baby is almost 3 and Jamies is almost 2. Jamie is also having another baby in September but we dont know if it is a boy or a girl yet. Jamie finally got out of the Marines for good and he is now an Animal Control Officer...perfect job for him. He bought his first house a year ago and he leaves the light on for everyone so if you are ever near Difficult Child, just give a shout out.

    So tell us all about you and yours? How are the girls and was it David?
  6. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    I was honestly just thinking about you this past weekend, wondering how things were going with- you and your family. I'm sorry things haven't gone well, but glad you've reached "que sera" stage. I'm beginning to think that's perhaps as good as we can hope for in this endless interim while we wait for our kids to ... well, I'm not even real sure what I'm waiting for anymore. ;) My difficult child is an "adult" now and we are in the throes of transition. It's not the most fun we've ever had.

    As far as tilting at windmills, I think we all do it. Desperation, the need to do *something*... raising a difficult child is not easy. The good thing about this board is that we are family - we've shared the joys and sorrows for years now. We have a history together that cannot be duplicated anywhere else.

    I'm glad to see you back.
  7. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Addie, it's great to see you.

    OMG, so much has happened in the last few years. If you've read the board at all you already know that husband and I divorced 5 years ago. Rob was just laid off (again) but seems to be holding his own. Remarkably he treats me with love and respect. It's wonderful.

    It's been a very long time. Tell us about you.

  8. Stella Johnson

    Stella Johnson Active Member

    Welcome back, Addie. Not sure if you were around when I changed my name. I used to be Stephie. My difficult child is Sabrina. She's 12 now and turning into a teen.

    She's come a long way socially and in school. Still not quite there but she has really worked at it. We've had private tutors, starting private counseling and art therapy soon too.

    I bought a house 4 years ago. I thought it would be nice to have neighbors and backyard bbq's. Instead it's a nightmare caused by two bullies that are constantly going after Sabrina. So now I'm considering doing what i always swore I wouldn't do. Move in with a man I"m not married to. My boyfriend of 4 years. Just until my house sells since the market is **** and empty houses seem to sell faster here.

    So there are the highlights. So how have you been? How are the kiddos? Give us updates on it all. :D

  9. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    OK, so why did it edit "Addie"? Sometimes I feel like I just don't know anything anymore!

    Welcome back, and it's good to see you again! I'm glad to hear that you are still tilting at your windmills (rather than letting them blow you over!).
  10. goldenguru

    goldenguru Active Member

    Hi Addie -

    Welcome back. Will be anxious to hear your updates.

    My difficult child? Got herself pg at 17 - shortly after returning home from Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Managed to graduate HS. She is now married to the greatest guy. Has two beautiful daughters. She's doing well for the most part - although her GFGness appears from time to time - and probably always will.

    Welcome back.
  11. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    "Addie" wasn't edited/censored as I was able to put in all the letters without a problem. Perhaps it was just typed that way.

  12. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Welcome back Addie. So many of us oldies changed our names for various reasons. I'm not sure you were here when mine changed from TMom to Daisylover.

    My difficult child's are currently doing well. Nichole is stable and in college after a few years of the downward spiral from hades. Travis works at krogers and is also doing well. I've gained a few more grandkids since you've been away. lol

    Glad to see you back after so long.

  13. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Hi Addie, it has been a long time. I appreciate the apology. It's an honorable thing to do. It's a new day and all is forgotten.
    Hope you are well.
    We have moved away from Texas to NC. I really like it there. Obviously, I am no longer the owner of this web community. My time needed to be elsewhere.
    difficult child is maturing. He isn't going to be on his own for a while but he has come a long way. Wish it were farther along but this is the hand he was dealt.

    easy child is well and working/living in Orlando. He did a year of university in NYC. Left for a gap year and seems he has a plan to go to school in Central Florida. He had a crani at 16 for pressure build up due to a cyst. He did well but takes anti convulsants.

    husband and I are still a team.

    This is it for me. I hope we get to an update with you.
  14. Star*

    Star* call 911


    You go away, you get well, you come back with an apology . . .

    But did you bring me a gift? Cookies? A bag of fudge? How about a puppy - (send it to Mustang chick - inside joke).

    (Crosses arms, raises eyebrows, turns and looks and says) "Well okay - I guess we'll take you back." lol :tongue:

    Lets see - Dude is 18 now - he has a job, he's not living at home, he's on the last 18 months of his probation, he has a car - but no license and that's just fine by us. I had a stroke when he was arrested and while I don't think it rendered me incapicated, I'm fairly certain it was a turning point for my detachment 101. (I do not drool or anything or walk with a limp I just passed out, came too and didn't know anything). I've gone back to a job that matches my schooling and I'm not working in heavy construction any more, but I miss it. Dude is working on his GED - I've asked for it for MOthers Day and since the last 13 years of gifts have been sparse or non-existant - I'm hopeful. When I'm blue? I take a breath.

    I guess that's about it. Glad you remembered me. I hate when my name isn't included on a list and I sit there and think - OMG I'm not memorable? lol - no, not really. haha. But it's nice to be remembered. :laugh:

    Welcome back - for coming forward.
  15. ML

    ML Guest

    I didn't know you before but wanted to welcome you back. You sound like you've undergone a great deal of spiritual growth. Seems like pain is the muck in which new life springs. Hope to know you better. I'm here as often as I can, more so on weekend. Love ML
  16. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Hi Addie,
    I think of you every so often and wonder how you are doing. I take it you are not fostering anymore? I was Junkro, but changed it. Not sure if you were still posting when I changed, but I did change it quite a while ago.

    Welcome back.
  17. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Witz- That's how Addie typed in the name, it wasn't a censor.
  18. addie

    addie New Member

    OMG! You remember me! (She says, doing a Sally Field.) And you have allowed me to come back! And I remember ALL of you ... "parents emeritus" or should it be 'difficult child grandparents'? So many babies - how wonderful. Congratulations to all. (It's the ONE thing that hasn't happened to me yet - and can't. I will explain later.)
    But no, it's not David - I can tell you the good news first: he's in college, 22, doing something that will NOT guarantee him a living wage, getting in touch mostly when he needs money ... so he's 'normal', right? But I never called him a difficult child anyway ... though, literally, he is.
    The girls .... 'nother story, which I will tell later; it's a soapy drama.

    I want to respond to each one of you but should spend time on here doing a profile first.

    I just have to say, Suz, that the picture of Richard made me ROFL! Oh well, I will still take Gabriel.

    Thank you, Fran.

    Star, how's the maple tree? Growing slowly, I would say, as is it's inspiration ... will tell you more later. (I got a new tractor as I broke the old one, but I drove the new one up a tree and even though it's a manly hairy JD, it's broken for now too - sigh.)
    Will think about a gift - if the thought of a JD up a cedar is not enough of one.

    Dammit, Janet ... I am glad you DID remember me!

    The red is of course fake; I would rather be addie but will keep the hair, for now. And it was me who ex-ed the letters out in my name in the original post - just in case. I am SO happy to be back in touch.

    No, I have not read the board in the past 5 years, so all your news is new news to me.
    I will have to get used to the format ... some things are the same, some different.

    Tonight I am going to open a bottle of Spanish red and respond to all of you and tell you the drama. Till then, except for ML (thank you for your response and welcome) yes, I remember you well .... as the song goes. Sort of.

  19. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I was trying to figure out who had such a racy name! ;)
  20. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    Hi there, Addie,
    It is funny but today I decided to check in here and saw this first! I rarely pop in here anymore, but do keep in touch with many former and present members regularly. Folks from the days of the old (I did stop by one time when I learned that Dr. Riley had popped in, so I touched base with him again.)

    I too am at peace. My sons are well as is my 5 yr old grandson.

    "Ant" is all grown up-25 now, working steady as a union roofer...raising his son with sole custody and doing a great job of it. He says he has no desire to drink or carouse. He works on their home in his spare time and still loves to cook, calling now and then to ask for recipes. He is working on all his responsibilities.

    Life is good and many blessings have come my way, hopefully the same for you and those here as well. We all spent many a long day and night here on this forum and have been thru much on our journeys!
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2009