B
Bunny
Guest
Two weeks ago difficult child tells the therapist that no one here at home loves him. No one. No me. Not husband. Not easy child. Not his grandparents. Not his aunts or uncles. No one. If those are his feelings, they are what they are. Feelings are not right or wrong. They just are. Okay. So, I've been trying to spend extra time with him, doing the things that he likes to do.
I understand that if these are really his feelings that it will take a long time to get him to feel otherwise. But, if I have to hear every single day over the next few weeks and months "but you don't love me" every time I do something with him, to him, or for him, I am going to lose my mind! Everything that I do for him he says that I do because it's something that I "have to do", not because I want to do it.
A good example: He lost his jacket. Don't ask me how he lost it becuse even he can't seem to answer that questions. But he lost it and needed a new one. So, last week I take him coat shopping. Just him and me. He was happy. He saw a really nice coat. It was more than I had planned on spending, but I bought it for him because it was a relly good coat, he'll have it for a few seasons so it's not like I'll get one seaon out of it and then it will be too small, and when I buy him clothes he's not one of these kids that will only wear name brands. He pretty much wears what I buy him, as long as it's something that I think he will like. Plus, it was heavier than the jacke that he lost, so it will be warmer for him when he's standing at the bus stop. So I thought it was okay for him to have it. Great! He's happy, right? Wrong!! Apparently, in his mind I bought him the coat because he needed a new coat, not because I wanted him to have a coat. I told him that if I really didn't love him I would not have spent all of the money that I did on a coat, and that I would have just bought him some crappy coat. Nope. Not good enough for him. I don't do anything for him out of love. I do it so that people won't think I'm a bad mother.
This is getting really old.
I understand that if these are really his feelings that it will take a long time to get him to feel otherwise. But, if I have to hear every single day over the next few weeks and months "but you don't love me" every time I do something with him, to him, or for him, I am going to lose my mind! Everything that I do for him he says that I do because it's something that I "have to do", not because I want to do it.
A good example: He lost his jacket. Don't ask me how he lost it becuse even he can't seem to answer that questions. But he lost it and needed a new one. So, last week I take him coat shopping. Just him and me. He was happy. He saw a really nice coat. It was more than I had planned on spending, but I bought it for him because it was a relly good coat, he'll have it for a few seasons so it's not like I'll get one seaon out of it and then it will be too small, and when I buy him clothes he's not one of these kids that will only wear name brands. He pretty much wears what I buy him, as long as it's something that I think he will like. Plus, it was heavier than the jacke that he lost, so it will be warmer for him when he's standing at the bus stop. So I thought it was okay for him to have it. Great! He's happy, right? Wrong!! Apparently, in his mind I bought him the coat because he needed a new coat, not because I wanted him to have a coat. I told him that if I really didn't love him I would not have spent all of the money that I did on a coat, and that I would have just bought him some crappy coat. Nope. Not good enough for him. I don't do anything for him out of love. I do it so that people won't think I'm a bad mother.
This is getting really old.