It's Official--difficult child is "Toast"!!!!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by DaisyFace, Oct 19, 2009.

  1. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    This is an update from my "I am just livid" thread....

    Turns out that difficult child got back from her field trip at 12:30 in the afternoon (not at 5 like she claimed)...

    She got into some boys pickup truck and was spotted at a neighborhood McDonalds at about 1:30 pm.

    There was also some talk about this boy giving difficult child and another girl DRIVING lessons. Note that neither difficult child nor this other student have their Learner's Permit.

    AND there was a story about another teen getting hurt when he fell out of the back of the pickup truck WHILE one of these un-licensed drivers was behind the wheel.

    Nice. :mad:

    So far, no word back on whether she has also been cutting class at school and forging my signature--but it looks like she is failing Math class.

    I am so gonna kill her!!!
  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Don't kill her... make her pay! :devil:
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I have 8 acres where she can according to Cory...wake up dead.
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I love the way TM thinks!
  5. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Amazes me on how kids really truly believe parents are so blind about what they get into.

    Now, what sort of discipline can you use? Something to stress the difference between 12:30 and 5:30? Some hard 5 hour long chore like raking leaves from 12:30 to 5:30 this Saturday? Then tell her that anytime she is late again, she will make up those minutes/hours with an unpleasant chore lasting the amount of time she was gone?

    Maybe everyday for a week make her check in with you at 12:30, school staff can say to her at 12:30 "It is now 12:30, call you mom!" and at 5:30, you can say "It is now 5:30, you will stay home the rest of the night."

    I don't know - let us know what works (or atleast what you tried?).
  6. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Logical consequences. Make the truth come out. Ask to see the permission note and give the school a sample of your signature. Do a quiet deal with the school to only use a particular colour ink, for example. Find ways to cover yourselves. Maybe have yourself a different "school only" signature. For example, I have one signature for official documents, another for letters etc. Find out if you can set this up with the school.

    Second - she's been seen in te wrong place doing the wrong things. Including driving while unlicensed. So talk to the police. They should't be able to touch her if she's not caught in the act, but check (your laws are different to ours). She needs to know what would happen to any LICENSED driver caught up in her games, as well as to other kids involved. Also, the consequences of kids falling out the back of a pick-up, we've seen ourselves. There are some cute 'games' which kids in Australia have been playing for decades, since the ute (aka pick-up) was first invented. Kids will take turns standing up in the tray at the back and holding on to the cabin, while the driver does doughnuts and wheelies in the paddock and tries to throw the rider. it's like rodeo.
    Other dangers - kids pile into the back for a ride, and if the ute hits a stump or pothole, kids can get thrown out. Both husband & myself know kids who were killed this way, kids in our class at school.

    There have to be consequences.

    It does sound to me like she shot through in order to set up an outing which included lunch at maccas, and a driving lesson. So consequences need to be - curtailing of public social life (until she can demonstrate and earn back the responsibility to handle it) and also, either a ban on driving lessons, or enrolment in an advanced driving course (an assault safety course that teaches just how dangerous driving can be).

    If you ban driving lessons, you MUST make sure you can enforce it. Anything you put in place, you must be able to enforce it.

    Putting extra guard dogs on duty is one way of enforcing it. The school can work as an extra guard dog.

    Full and frank disclosure, for sure, will be a very effective and appropriate punishment. With everybody affected. And that now includes the local McDonalds. Give them her photo and tell them what she was doing. Because a kid getting injured in their car park due to an unlicensed driver, could have put them in jeopardy.

  7. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Oh- I would be livid too!! At least you are keeping an eye out and it sounds like you have caught this slide down fairly early on- plenty enough time to make her come clean and pay a price. And, make sure you let her know that you have eyes in the back of your head because you were a teen once too! LOL!
  8. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Hell hath no fury like a warrior mom scorned! Some of our kids have to learn this the HARD way, unfortunately.
  9. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Well, I can honestly say I'd be livid too. But I'm with TM, I prefer to make them pay to killing them. lol

    If she were mine her social life would come to a screeching halt for a longish specific period of time. No friends, no cell phone, no computer, no telephone. Nothing. Nada. Zip. An escort to and from school if necessary. Now usually with mine when their social life halted......they also found out they had a pile of new chores to do as well.:tongue:

    I'd inform the school of what's going on, so 1. you can find out exactly what she's been up to there, and 2. so you don't have her attempting to ditch class to do the same old same old.

    easy child once snuck out to see a guy well over 18 when she was just 16. Three months of zero social life nearly did her in. lmao Odd.......but I didn't have many problems with her after that.:D (of course she was a easy child too)

    My kids knew as long as I couldn't trust them they would be kept on a very short leash.