My sister was professionally diagnosed with ODD when she was 4 years old, even though I have doubts considering the purpose and nature of this diagnosis. I question doctors a lot; but that's not the point of this thread, the point is, when my mother had her last boyfriend, she was EXTREMELY jealous of the attention her then-boyfriend got from our mother, to the point of causing some strain in the relationship. She would argue with and sabotage my mother and gaslight her at every opportunity about the relationship between her and her ex at only 12 years old because of perhaps her internalized scapegoat status in the family. Note that we were a very dysfunctional family unit at that point and that was only 2-3 years ago. It lasted quite a while, because they were together for 2 to 3 years. However, my sister has always acted like this, argumentative, stubborn, vindictive, and easily angered. Mom and I were her punching bags, she always fought with her twin sister (who is mildly developmentally delayed and has her own separate sorts of problems), and she perhaps copied some of my then difficult behaviors.
That's not to say she has a terrible personality, just some underlying trauma and failure to learn how to adequately manage her emotions. Otherwise she is a strong-minded, sociable 14 year old with tons of creative outlets. Her emotional management seems to have matured in the last year or so, since ex left. Oh, and she's now in middle school and takes medication, which may be a factor.
Now this isn't an issue anymore because the boyfriend was dysfunctional himself, had possible signs of Borderline (BPD) and they broke up, so she has no reason to pester mom around about the ex.
My younger sister was also neglected from ages 4 to 7 in a foster home with her twin sister which possibly played into her separation anxiety because she worries a lot about mom leaving and not coming back.
I am not a jealous person usually so I can't relate to her feelings.
Even though the problem is solved, I'm concerned about the intensity of this jealousy, and wonder what you people would do if in such a scenario, your child were to grow jealous of your partner getting the attention? Has this happened to you yet? I may only be a sibling but I want to know.
I feel like I halfway answered my own questions but I want to know your input, because I couldn't have helped her.
That's not to say she has a terrible personality, just some underlying trauma and failure to learn how to adequately manage her emotions. Otherwise she is a strong-minded, sociable 14 year old with tons of creative outlets. Her emotional management seems to have matured in the last year or so, since ex left. Oh, and she's now in middle school and takes medication, which may be a factor.
Now this isn't an issue anymore because the boyfriend was dysfunctional himself, had possible signs of Borderline (BPD) and they broke up, so she has no reason to pester mom around about the ex.
My younger sister was also neglected from ages 4 to 7 in a foster home with her twin sister which possibly played into her separation anxiety because she worries a lot about mom leaving and not coming back.
I am not a jealous person usually so I can't relate to her feelings.
Even though the problem is solved, I'm concerned about the intensity of this jealousy, and wonder what you people would do if in such a scenario, your child were to grow jealous of your partner getting the attention? Has this happened to you yet? I may only be a sibling but I want to know.
I feel like I halfway answered my own questions but I want to know your input, because I couldn't have helped her.
