Join Military?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by weaselqt, Sep 27, 2007.

  1. weaselqt

    weaselqt New Member

    Okay - recruiters are allowed to roam hallways at our local high schools. Anyway, we have a CLOSE friend who died last December from a roadside bomb (only 20 years old) and my daughter always looked up to him as a big brother.

    ANYWAY! difficult child 2 came home with a bunch of stuff from Army and saying how he wants to join because he thinks he can handle basic training and gets a lot of money. :angel:

    He wants his social security number so he can give it to the recruiters at school. :scared:

    I admire the military - admire all of those who serve - but I truly do not think difficult child 2 could handle such a thing. He would really SNAP! He can't handle being told what to do by ANYONE! Let alone a drill seargent! :smile:

    He is so "in the moment" that he HAS to give them all his information NOW! But I also know that in a few days, he changes his mind. But right now, he is so adamet about it! :hypnosis: - as if he can't see straight!

    I really don't think bipolar is good for military because he would get killed in BASIC TRAINING! :sword:
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member

    LOL...number one, you are talking about your 15 year old right? He isnt old enough to join the military yet. He can think about, he can talk about it, he can want to, they can discuss it, they can even cajole him and tell him how grand it will be...but he is too young. Without your signature on that dotted line, he is sunk.

    Another thing is that while bipolar used to keep them out, it isnt the automatic NO it used to be. That can be overcome but normally if they are still on medications at the end of high school and seeing a psychiatrist, well that keeps them out. So thats something to keep in the back of your mind. Let Jr have his delusions and give him the social security number and get this out of his system if you really dont want him to join. They probably wont take him anyway.

    Let them be the bad guy and give him the news.
  3. weaselqt

    weaselqt New Member

    Yeah - I know he is too young. But 3 years will be here before I know it! I just wasn't sure about the bipolar thing - I didn't think they would allow it but also wonder how many are in that they don't know about. Yeah - I just worry that if I give his SS# to him and he gives it to them, then they will contact him when he turns 18 and it will be started all over again. UGH! I can see that happening.
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I know, I know.
    But he IS only 15. And will his bipolar diagnosis follow him in? They won't accept him.
    Just play along for now.
    Good luck. Try not to fret. I know that's easy to say!
  5. jamrobmic

    jamrobmic New Member

    My son was determined to enlist this past spring, even going so far as to call a recruiter, who came to our house and had difficult child take a test and fill out some paperwork. The bipolar diagnosis didn't automatically disqualify him from enlisting, but he did have to be off of medication a certain length of time (the recruiter wasn't sure how long and was checking on it). He was also supposed to get statements from us and his therapist about why he was in treatment, how he did while in treatment, and how he has been since discontinuing treatment.

    My son is also the kind of person who has to do everything right now, and that turned out to be a good thing in this case. If they had taken him that first week when he thought it was such a great idea, he would probably be overseas right now. However, the process of enlisting doesn't happen overnight, and my son decided against it after thinking it over a little. I didn't say anything for or against it, but my son does have a friend who did enlist, and the friend did try to talk him out of it. It didn't deter my son at all.

    If your son is like mine, the more you try to convince him enlisting isn't the best idea, the more determined he'll be to go through with it. I would let him explore the idea, and I would bet he'll get bored with it and move on to something else.
  6. weaselqt

    weaselqt New Member

    thanks - I'll try not to
  7. weaselqt

    weaselqt New Member

    I didn't actually tell him no - but husband said he can't do it at 17 without our consent. Then difficult child 2 shouts I'LL DO IT WHEN I'M 18 WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT!!! that is why it is ugly right now. But, my easy child/difficult child 1 has pics of our fav. soldier that was killed on her wall - a memorial for him in her room - and took difficult child 2 in to show him what the "benefits" (her words) are for the military. He didn't say much. difficult child 2 told me later that he figured easy child/difficult child 1 would not be happy. I'm kinda figureing he is doing this just to see what response he can get - he just LOVES to be center of atention - negative or positive. but I haven't said anything for or against.

    I kinda thought that allhe would do is sign the dotted line and BAM he was enlisted. I guess I should know better.

    thanks to you all for calming some nerves around my house.
  8. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member


    My son had wanted to be a Marine since he was 8 years old. He started going to the recruiters office his first year of high school to hang out with them. He was 14. He was in JROTC all through high school. The Marine Recruiter knew him by name. He took him to lunch many times. His deferred enlistment papers were all filled out by the time he was 16 years old but even then nothing could be done until WE signed those papers. Luckily for all concerned, we were in full agreement with him enlisting.

    Even after he signed those deferred enlistment papers, after he graduated high school and it was time for him to go do his actual enlistment, we had to sign some more papers because he was still under 18...and that was when he could have backed out one more time. Then when he got to MEPS...he could have backed out on his own.

    Mine didnt. He had ADHD and did very well in both bootcamp and for 4 years in the Marine Corps. He now has a great job that he adores. He wouldnt be the man he is without the USMC.
  9. SnowAngel

    SnowAngel New Member

    My Ducky runs around in camo outfits. He likes the army. I cringe at the thought of so many young men and women loosing their lives in this war. I do know that even though he dreams of the army, reality is he wont qualify. As a mom (even though he is 10)it is heartbreaking to know your child has limitations on career choices, however I am grateful I wont be worrying about my baby being in a foriegn country and might not make it home.

    God bless those who are over seas!!
  10. skeeter

    skeeter New Member

    just another piece of information - all males have to sign up for selective service records within a month of their 18th birthday, so they ARE going to have his information anyway.

    My son, like Janet's, decided quite young that he wanted to be in the service. In his case, it was to be an aircraft mechanic. He was in Civil Air Patrol. His ASVAB scores were so high we had EVERYONE calling us.

    He's getting ready for deployment - will be leaving the first week of November.
  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member

    I dont know for sure that the diagnoses are limiting them anymore.

    After Jamie was in the Marines I was doing a report on the differences between the Army and the Marines for a class I was taking and interviewed an Army recruiter. I mentioned Cory and in passing said something about how he had wished he could follow in his brothers footsteps but that it was impossible. This man told me that I should send him down and they would certainly consider him. Now I only told the guy that Cory had the bipolar and that Cory had been off the medications for a year or so at that point. I didnt tell him that Cory didnt have a GED or that he had some legal problems. Not to mention Cory had shoulder surgery at 4 that would probably have kept him out if he had been perfectly normal.

    All those things are problems most kids wont have.
  12. tinamarie1

    tinamarie1 Member

    My husband joined the Marines when he was fresh out of high school and we were dating. The first gulf war was going on then. husband is a carbon copy of difficult child, let me just say. People laughed at the fact that husband was going in, because he was such a slacker (even tho i loved him, hehe)and slacker is a nice term. The marines made him the man he is today that I adore. He is very disciplined and has loved the military his whole life, thats why he got out and went back in after getting his college degree.
    I know that the war is scary, but that is all about to change dramatically. Troops are now coming home, not going over there. And especially once the presidency changes over, things will come to an end over there rather quickly.
    Your difficult child has a few more things going on than my husband did, but still he was definitely a difficult child (his momma will attest to that).
    Seeing the changes it made for husband, we have already decided that if difficult child wants to do it we will support him 100%.
    It will be ok, like the others have said he has plently of time before they would actually take him off to boot camp. And if he does get in, they will be watching him very closely during boot camp and then training. He will have a full buddy system of friends in his unit that I am sure will support him, and his instructors will be aware if he is having problems. Trust me, if someone is "freaking out" ...they will let them leave, they don't want to force someone with mental issues to be in their unit much less be the one who may be the "protector" in a war situation.
  13. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    My young difficult child, 18, joined the Army this past April.
    He was dxd with Bipolar when he was 14 yrs old. However, while he was on probation last year, he was re-evaluated by a physiciatrist and they did not give him a Bipolar diagnosis at that time. While on probation he also got his GED.

    He told me that the Army would not have allowed him in if the psychiatrist had said he was Bipolar. He said he would have been very upset if he had been denied.

    I am amazed at how well my young difficult child is doing in the Army.
    Never know it could be a good fit for your difficult child at some point down the road.

    by the way, my young difficult child handled all the requirements/documentation with the recruiter...I never was involved with the enlisting process, he did it all by himself.

  14. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    The army made huge changes in my bro. I can't say it was anything I ever thought my "do exactly the opposite of what anyone EVER tells him to do" bro would function in the Army. At All. But he did. He learned a lot, even when he had problems and took the consequences. It really helped him grow up.

    I don't want to see my son go in the army, but if that is his choice, then we will support him, either of my hims.

    Or my her.

    I can say that the recruiters drove me CRAZY in high school and college. My ASVAB scores were very veryhigh and high in areas they apparently had a hard time getting people. I had so much mail, calls, pestering recruiters who figured out where I worked and came in to "visit" (it was a bookstore and people hung out so I couldn't tell them to leave) and try to get me to enlist.

    I NEVER would have been accepted, too manyhealth problems even then, but those recruiters are pests.

    Anyway, it can be good for some people. You never know.

  15. weaselqt

    weaselqt New Member

    I guess I'm just freaked out since we have someone so close to us who died last December. It is still heart breaking for us and fresh - especially since his only child just turned 1 year old in September.

    I will just do what I've got to do and help him keep his chin up. (mine too :smile:
  16. weaselqt

    weaselqt New Member

    oh yeah - my brother in law was in Army and then discharged straight to Fort Leavenworth, Kansas to serve time for one year. His wife and newborn were left overseas for 3 months before she was sent back to the states - Army took care of her for six more months. We have heard several reasons as to what happened - but we still do not know. he is out and cannot keep a job, cannot keep a house, cannot even keep a vehicle and lives with people (wife is still at his side with 6 children) and they bum off of everyone.

    Everyone in my I-L family says difficult child 2 is just like the brother in law above. that is another reason why I am scared - BUT! I am concerned enough to get difficult child 2 help and medication when he needs it whereas mother in law and father in law did NOT do that for their son - so, maybe my parenting style will be a better foundation.

    sorry this is so long :wink:
  17. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Interesting, Janrobmic, about having to be off medications for a certain length of time.

    Wow, weaselqt, after reading about your I-Ls, I can see why you're scared. And I know your parenting style is better, with-o even mtng them! Cool that you were able to adopt your sister's daughter. You rock!