Just a stressful day / computer trouble



My computer ran out of space. It has two smaller hard drives in, as my old computer was zapped by lightening. I do not download anything. easy child and difficult child have a lot of music on itunes, and I learned that when they connect their ipods it sync's up with the computer. To avoid stealing music, whatever music is on the computer is uploaded to ipod. So, if you delete the music from the computer, it also deletes it from the ipod, sync's up with whatever is on the computer when you hook up your ipod.
In addition to the music, difficult child has a digital camera that also shoots video. So, that is out there. When looking through what else is out here, I came across a lot of porn. I accused difficult child, who laughed and said it was easy child's. I don't know. I do know that sometimes when easy child comes home after going out, he spends hours on the computer and I often wonder who he is talking to for hours at 3am or later. So, I didn't push it. I wasn't able to degragment, not enough free space, I couldn't do anything because there was no space. So today I went and bought an external hard drive. easy child came home today and asked "why did you buy that..what is being downloaded". I told him I found a lot of porn. easy child says it is difficult child, difficult child says it is easy child. I am just plain angry that porn is on MY computer. Told both of them if it turns up again, they will be banned from the computer.
I spent hours connecting all the wires, and while I had it apart I labled the wires, taped them, cleaned everything. Now my main search engine doesn't work.
Then..we have little tree's growing out of our gutters, so I have been meaning to get up there, but my elbow is in so much pain I have a hard time doing anything unless it is one handed.
difficult child has been a real pain. Yesterday he complained all day about not having any friends. He talks to about 100 different buddies online. Most are from school or baseball. So, I tell him to call this person, "oh, I hate them", ok call this person, "no they hate me", ok, how about this person, "no they hang out with this person and that person hates me". So I gave up. Only to have him start whinning again. He says some are weird...OK I had it. If you want to hang out with someone call them. If not stop complaining. I told him to stop judging people. Everyone is weird. Go with the flow. I asked him how he feels when people say they don't like him when they don't even know him...That is judging. I asked him to not judge people, and enjoy each other and what one has to offer.
Then husband came home. difficult child is still whining and I have had it. husband yells at me. So, I left. I make a big dinner, and nobody ate it. easy child took difficult child to summerfest again tonight for a concert.
husband does nothing around this house. Every inside room needs to be pained. Something needs to be done with the floors, and our kitchin is so outdated it is pathentic. Bathroom too. Tub surround is not attached to the wall anymore. AFter complaining that moisture is getting back there for 6 months, I went and bought the sealant/glue. I told husband after my next 4 nights of work, I will be off 7 days. I would like to do the deck(needs to be washed and stained) I cannot wash/scrub, but I can paint with my good arm. The soffets (sp?) on the house is all peeling and is in real need of painting because bare wood is showing through. I cannot scrap, but will paint. I would like to paint the house a different color, but that won't happen this year, maybe just the trim. Bushes in the front were so over-grown and half dead, I trimmed them and all that's left now is sticks. So, they all have to go, don't know how, but need new ones. husband just sits here. Then said he was running to the store for some asprin and GNC for some joint medicine. That was 4.5 hours ago.
He has knee trouble, that the only option at this time is a replacement. I took out really good, expensive insurance last year so he could do this. He wouldn't take the time off of work. OK, not paying for it again..New employment also, doesn't offer that good insurance.
difficult child was just a real bear today. Didn't matter what I did, whe would complain about something else. Then he said it was all MY fault. And husband told me to be quiet. I was so mad, I took my purse, keys and left. husband follows me down the driveway yelling. All I said is that difficult child is our CHILD. He is not allowed to speak to me like that. He is not part of or partnership, or parentship that I know of. So, husband hasnot spoken to me since.
Sorry so long, but I did laundry, took out the garbage, made dinner, installed a hard drive, dusted, vaccuumed all the rooms. I told husband he has the next 4 days to get the deck scrubbed and ready for staining and sealing. I do believe I will be taking the pressure washer to the soffets to get off all the lose, peeling paint, buying the supplies myself and just doing it. Gets me so angry. We have a small house If all four of us just took one side, boys on the shorter sides, we could knock this off in a could hours. My boys..all three of them think they don't have to do anything. I am sick of taking care of all the finances, and stressing about that, then difficult child, and stressing about that, then school and stessing about that. But right now I would just really like some repairs to get done befoer the house falls down!!!

Thank you for listenting to those who made it through. REally don't have anyone to vent to. So..you win.
So sorry.


New Member
Wow, what a day. I made it through all of it. Doesn't it feel good to get it all out? I hate days like yours was today. I'm sorry husband isn't helping and I'm sorry difficult child was such a pain.

Wouldn't it be great if they made Midol for men? You could just go buy them all a bottle and walk away.

Good luck deciphering who's porn it is. I'm not sure what internet company you use, but many have login spys for when kids logon. They report to you what they do. I think you may even be able to download something similar for free on the internet.

At least you were productive today! Anytime you want to come to my house and do laundry, vacuum, cook a big dinner, I promise to be extremely appreciative.

I hope tomorrow is better!

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
Hmmmmmm. We could be living in the same house.

I'm sorry yesterday was so horrible. I was having a day like that yesterday myself. I wonder if it was something in the air?

Any way you can go thru your computer drives and just start deleting things you don't need? (most especially the porn) Will it let you do that much? Then do a defrag. I need to do this too. I've noticed recently Nichole has been downloading alot of useless junk onto my computer. Ticks me off. She has her own computer.

I hope today is a much better day for you. If not, going on strike has helped me in the past.



Active Member
With our computer we can track which website was logged onto and when. Also who downloads how much and when. So if I knew that easy child was on the computer at 3 am while husband, difficult child & I were asleep in bed, I would be taking it up with easy child. Alternatively, if easy child is at work while stuff is being downloaded, you would know it's not him.

Is there a chance it could be husband? He's male and breathing, after all. It's a bloke thing. And with a bad knee, he's got even more excuse to want to lose himself in fantasy.

Something I did when difficult child 1 was getting caught up with porn - I went through the porn websites with him, especially Googling "dead porn stars" and reading it with him. The girl in "Debbie Does Dallas"? From memory, she was murdered by some gangster involvement. Others - dead of AIDS or similar, or suicide, or drug overdose, or simply burnt out on skid row. It's tragic - male porn starts last longer in the business, but the girls get replaced by the next new, fresh, unknown face. And the number of stars who start off in porn and then make it big in more conventional roles in Hollywood - very, very few.

Basically, I played the exploitation card.

If the porn is husband's and the boys know it, they could be shielding you. I'd be investigating on a log being kept, so you can backtrack. We do this not to track porn, but to track who is downloading HUGE files so we can make them pay for it out of their pocket money. We pay per Mb for big downloads and it's the only way the kids will learn to not abuse the privilege and expect big downloads for nothing.



As far as the computer, it won't let me do anything unless there is a certain percent of free space. So, I deleted as much as I could. All I could see left was pictures, video's and music. I got rid of the porn I found.

As far as husband...He doesn't even know how to click a mouse. I have never, ever seen him even sit at the computer. He wouldn't even know how to turn it on.

I will be keeping a close eye on the history.


Well-Known Member
I would be doing more than monitoring. difficult child is 12. Put some parental software on that bad boy. Clean the computer up first and then block him so he cant get into any bad sites and tell him he is being monitored. It is your responsibility to keep him safe.

I will never forget when my son was 12 or 13 he met some weirdos online that told him that they thought he was a nice boy and they wanted to take him on a nice vacation! They said they were long distance truckers and would pick him up and drive him cross country from NC to California and back again. My son couldnt understand why we said no...lmao. Imagine that...mean parents we were.