Just need to seek opinions

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by tryingtobestrong, Feb 24, 2018.

  1. tryingtobestrong

    tryingtobestrong New Member

    I had posted about my son who lives on the west coast with his girlfriend of almost 6 years. He has suffered from anxiety and depression then self medicated with weed and booze. Got a dui, probation, then sold his car so he doesn't have to worry about another one.
    The girlfriend is now planning to leave him and take some of their pets which will be very traumatic for him. He will be suicidal like he always is when she tries to break up. This time she isn't coming back.
    We saw a counselor last night and he recommended we do an intervention with him prior to her leaving. I just spoke to one and she charges $3500 plus if she does any phone calls with us prior to it it is $150 an hour.
    25% success rate for rehabs?
    This makes me feel hopeless.
    I know I have to let him fall and not be there to rescue him when she leaves. This is my child. So I am supposed to just let him die by suicide? I read so many posts about how alcoholics use that threat to get pity and get what they want but how do I know if he wouldn't follow through.
    Sorry, just wanted some thoughts, experiences.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    The truth? Nobody, even parents of seemingly well balanced adults, can predict the future for sure or prevent a suicide for sure. My youngest daughter knew four teen suicides that upset her very much in high school. Not one of the kids let anyone know in advance. In fact the last poor kid put on a face like he was doing better the night before. Then he did it at home. Another was a cops son also living at home with a troubled history. He shot himself. At home. With his parents home. Now the next is not a suicide. A lovely engaged young woman was killed in a traffic accident that was not her fault. The shock vibrated through the entire community. She was stable and happy, but still died.

    None of us can protect anyone from dying. We can't even be sure we won't die tomorrow. Talking about suicide is probably a sign that the person wants help. Or blackmail. Either way you are more likely to succeed if you don't tell. Your son is telling the world. If you go, like you say you are, call 911 if he does anything dangerous. Likely he would call you at home even if you don't go. 911 at the first sign of suicidal talk. 911. Don't try to do it yourself. You are not a professional.

    There is little chance he will really do it. There is no promise that our kids or other loved ones or ourselves will be alive each day. We can t control it. Scares me too when I think a loved one is taking a risk. Trust me. Scares every mother!

    The rest I don't know about. Never did rehab. Didn't know much about it.y Oldest daughter, meth and cocaine addict, quit on her own and that shocked us. We thought she would end up dead or in prison. She gave me every gray hair under my hair dye!

    Rehab is no guarantee. I think it's a step in the right direction. I would not go bankrupt though over the interventionist but that's me. I always had to watch my pennies. You can't buy what you don't have. If you have the money, you can try it. Follow your gut. JMO.

    I hope this comes to a peaceful resolution. I believe in the healing power of pets. Perhaps, to make up for the loss of the pets the woman is taking, encourage him to save a life and adopt a pet from the humane society. Now! Before she goes. He has a heart for animals...a person after my heart. Perhaps this is something that will distract him. It is a living being who would love and need him and just belong to him.

    Love, light and peace. You are doing a stellar job in a difficult situation.
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    Last edited: Feb 24, 2018