Kicked out of daycare AGAIN...Now what?

[jal]

Well, difficult child got his tucus kicked out of his 4th daycare. In their words "it's time for a break" I am freaking out about what to do. husband and I both work. My mother in law who has degenerative disc disease tried to watch him and made it 1 day. Why she had to go and swing a whiffle ball bat, I'll never know...So I took off yesterday and husband is home today. UGH!! No family members to watch him, either at work or too old. Anyone in CT have a references for nanny services? I just don't want to find ANOTHER daycare and have to pay a huge deposit for him to get kicked out AGAIN. psychiatrist started Lithium on Monday. Hoping to see a huge difference with that. Maybe they will let him go back once he is stable.

Sorry...small vent. So frustrated.

 

[SRL]

I'm sorry--we've had a number of families this has happened to. The best arrangement usually is in the child's own home. We've had families who have been able to take leaves from work or learn to live on one income until they were through the crisis. Until you know the extent of the issues and are on the road to a successful treatment plan it usually helps the child a great deal if they can be in their own home with far less stimulation than a daycare setting.

 

[jal]

Thank you. Yes home would be ideal. My husband makes more $ wise during a pay week, where I do well too, but carry the insurance. Catch 22. A summer Nanny might be the way to go as he is to start kindergarten in the fall.

 

[Bugsy]

I am so sorry!!!!

Even though my son has not been kicked out of school I recently resigned to care for him and the family. This spring was so aweful for him (and us) that I could not take it any more. I know that is not an option for some. We are able to do it but it is tight.
This spring has been the worst ever. We are considering lithium. Please let us know how the lithium is working.
I am so torn about trying it.

In my thoughts,
Bugsy's mom

 

[Just keep swimming]

Ugh, not fun, I know! Aly was "asked" to leave her preschool when she was 4 1/2, nearly broke my heart as I loved all the kids and staff there. I quit my job and have been home ever since. It has been extremely hard on us financially but somehow we are doing it.

Can husband get insurance at his job? Do they have a Healthy Families or some other sort of County medical insurance for lower income families? Not sure, your husband probably makes more than mine did at that time so we qualified. He now has an awesome job with insurance. Whew/phew!

I am sorry, and big hugs coming your way!!
Vickie

 

[jal]

Thank you. My husband is in construction and this of course is a very busy time of the year. It is just him and the owner. The owner used to supply insurance for him, but when we got married my plan was much more comprehensive and less expensive. (Of course our psychiatrist doesn't take ins, so that is out of pocket, but play therapist is covered and so are the medications). I would have to check into that. I know we have something called Husky, but I do not know the particulars because I have alway carried private insurance through my work (I have been here for 9 years).

I think my biggest fear would be that I might kill myself if I had to be home full time. It is sad to say but true, yesterday I almost went bald. Was grateful to go to work today!

Bugsy, I will keep updating on the Lithium. I am upset about it too. I am trying to still grapple with-the actual diagnosis of BiPolar (BP). The psychiatrist had been leaning that way and I have read as much as I can get my hands on, but the psychiatrist still felt we needed to strengthen our parenting skills. We had done everything from books, to a behaviorist in the home, several professionals. Then when psychiatrist saw difficult child on Mon night he was like this is not a parenting issue he is semi-manic. I knew then I had no other option. :sad:

 

[SRL]

I don't understand why your psychiatrist (psychiatrist) wouldn't take insurance. Even if he wouldn't bill directly most plans would reimburse you if psychiatric care were medically necessary.

 

[jal]

I do get reimbursed. Although that has been an on going nightmare with-my ins co. He doesn't take ins because he says that they are a hassle (as I have found out), and the reimbursement he would get amounts to around 10 min of his time. Don't get me wrong...he is a godsend and out of all the ones we saw that were covered by ins he is the best. I am happy to pay out of pocket for him. He responds immediately by phone and e-mail, the only psychiatrist to request blood work and ekg before starting medications and is the only dr to really interact with difficult child. Our last psychiatrist under ins never interacted with-difficult child saw us for 10 min at a time, wouldn't listen to our concerns and said difficult child was just ADHD and just kept increasing his Ritalin.

 

[SRL]

If you're getting reimbursed it technically isn't out-of-pocket. Out of pocket I believe refers to being responsible for the entire cost. I was trying to figure out why insurance wouldn't cover a pdo--that part didn't sound consistent with what other parents are reporting.

If you're only looking to fill childcare needs until fall another option to look into is finding a responsible college student. Sometimes students working towards special education or early childhood degrees really do well in situations like this. If you have a university nearby you might check there.

 

[miche]

Try http://www.enannysource.com it is a nanny service and you can find people for temp/summer help if needed. I'm registered on there right now looking for a full time nanny for the fall. We've had a few interesting prospects, but nobody that we love yet. We still have time. daughter didn't get kicked out of daycare yet -- we thought she'd be by now!

 

[PJD123]

Have you checked into the ARC? My 4 y/o got kicked out of 2 daycares and finally ended up at the ARC daycare where he's doing wonderfully. He's ADHD(mostly Hyper)/ODD. It's a small group with 1:3 ratios and he gets practically individualized attention.

Here's a link to the ARC in CT: http://www.arcct.com/

 

[OpenWindow]

My son got kicked out of daycare when he was 4. I called the special school district and they told me about a daycare they worked with that was in my area.

Don't know if it's available in your area, but i thought I'd let you know. Good luck!

 

[Andrea Danielle]

Hi, my son had a really hard time in daycare. He was never kicked out because we had a really kind director there who suggested he would be better off elsewhere but didn't force it.
We came to our senses now and are much better off.

We ended up finding an excellent Child and Youth Worker, trained to work with kids like Liam. She chose this career so she has the interest, the patience and the skills to help him.
What I did was post a very honest ad on Craigslist.com, I wrote exactly what his diagnosis was, some of the challenges he faces and amazingly I found a few excellent candidates. Maybe I pay them a touch more than a regular Nanny - I pay $15.00/hour but it is worth it to know that they are skilled at dealing with him.
I would go this route rather than an agency of caregivers who are really just hoping to get an easy child (we have tried this - it was a very bad experience). You don't want someone who doesn't get it and makes your child feel they are "bad".
I agree, I could never survive being a stay at home mom. I look forward to next year when he is in Grade 1 and we don't have to pay all of this money because he will be in class full days.
Until then, we will be in debt but know he is at home with a great caregiver :smile:

Good luck!

Andrea

 

[Running_for_the_shelter]

You don't "know" me; I've been a bit out of touch lately. My cub is 6 so technically, I'm not an ECZ anymore. But, I was! My boy was only formally kicked out of one daycare but he was so close to getting kicked out of another, that we pulled him out before it could happen. Figured it was psychologically better that way. He was ... encouraged ... to leave another, which was kind enough to take him back after the formal booting out, but it was made clear he wasn't working out there and that his days were numbered.

We put him in the the public school Kindergarten, which is only 3 1/2 hrs a day. My husband quit his job. And yes, the psychiatrist doesn't take my insurance so I pay the big deductible for out-of-network. We have less money for sure but it's made a world of difference for him. Our daughter (a mostly easy child 8-year-old) is also happier. My son got one nastygram from the school fairly early in the year but nothing since. Not a model citizen by any means and his social skills are abysmal, but he is doing a lot better only being away from home 3 1/2 hrs a day instead of 9 or 10.

It was a big choice for us. Being a stay-at-home dad wasn't my husband's big goal in life, but he hated his job and is actually more patient than I am. We are hoping that our son will be able to handle the full day 1st grade and then after a little while, we'll see if spouse can go back to work. I think I'd be a wreck if I had to stay home all day, but I guess I'd find some coping tools. I like Andrea's idea of placing an "honest ad" if neither of you can deal with staying home with the cub. Wishing the best for you!

 

[jal]

Thank you all for your responses. Keeping our fingers crossed...difficult child started back at preschool/daycare on half days last THursday and has been doing alright. Today is his first full day and no phone calls! Yeah! His school took him back. His teachers have been wonderful and understanding and patient. At his psychiatrist appointment last Thur he was almost at theraputic level on lithium. psychiatrist increased his Abilify ato 10mg and the weekend was horrible. After consulting psychiatrist on Sunday we agreed to back him down to 5mg and he seemed to even out. Just trying to hang in there until he starts kindergartenin 3 months! UGH!

 

[jannie]

I'm so glad he's having a good transition back. Just so you know...kindergarten made a huge difference for my child. He did well in the structure and academic stimulation. I never dreamed he'd make it through the first month of school. There is hope.

 

[Bugsy]

Hi Jal,

I am glad to hear some positive stuff. My difficult child just finished kindergarten and he did well (knock on wood). In fact at his worst of times when we were thinking about hospitalizing him that was one reason I did not want to. I felt I might lose him completely if I took him out of the only part of the day he was managing.

We are scheduled for our next blood test on the 11th and I am curious see where his lithium level is then.

By the way, we tried Abilify twice and we had bad reactions both times once we went above 5mg. The 5mg didn't seem to do anything and above was a nightmare.

Trying to hang in there each day too!

 

[miche]

We had problems with our daughter in daycare as well. We didn't care for the way she was being treated at her last daycare and when we asked for her health records (because we found a better place) they slipped a letter in my purse (!) asking her to leave. What nerve!

Anyway, we held our breath since February at her new daycare, got a few phone calls the first few weeks and one "if this happens again she'll have to leave" but then nothing since then. Her last day was Friday and she was really doing much better there. We decided to get a nanny, though.

One of the teachers from the new daycare saw our ad on craigslist.com and responded to me personally. We hired her a few days ago. difficult child will be attending 1/2 day preschool still in the fall, but I think that 1/2 day will be much better (I hope)

 

[ShakespeareMamaX]

Some info for insurance:

http://www.huskyhealth.com/?dsftns=45091

And, if it helps, the YMCA is where my son went. They seemed to be pretty cooperative with working with my son and me. If money's an issue at all, they also do a sliding scale. They're all over CT, so there's bound to be one near you.

The Parks and Rec Dept is where my son is now. I'm not sure how I feel about them, yet, but it's a bunch cheaper than anywhere else I've looked for the summer.

Good luck, Dear!

P.S. State insurance is fantastic! They cover most everything and there are no copays. Try it out! You just may qualify! :smile: