And these were THE TWO who broke my heart so completely and left me with unresolved baggage that's managed to bounce around in my head all these years... GAH! One I was in the convenience-dating phase (you know, the phase where you've broken up awhile ago but you keep going back for more -- it was really like an addiction by that point) when I met husband. The other I was dating shortly before I met the other one -- college sweetheart you could say. The first one who ever talked about the "marriage" word. The first one I actually thought of as a "soul mate." And maybe he was back then. Never been quite so affected by someone as I was those two particular people. Maybe it was the formative time in my life... the experiences I had with each of them... the way they both managed to damage my trust... I really wish I could turn off my brain sometimes. The first one popped back into my head when his old roommate contacted me out of the blue on FB a few weeks ago. And of course he mentions "HIM." That was a shock after 23 years. And then tonight, I was directly reminded of the other one when my girlfriend called to say that HE stopped by her place to visit today with his daughter. He lives overseas now, but just like that he's visiting after all these years (probalby been over 20 since she heard or saw him last). She left me a message to say she wanted to fill me in on how that visit went. I don't want to think about these people, but I find myself going back in time and it's really a kind of sick torture at this point. I used to think about them more when things between husband and I were bad. But they're pretty good now, and I really don't want to go down that road in my head! But it's like when someone tells you not to think of elephants, and all you can think about is elephants... Somebody stop me!