Learned a new Aspie/anxiety thing about difficult child

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TerryJ2, Nov 7, 2011.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    and thought I'd share, in case some of you had the same experience.

    difficult child SHOUTS when he gets upset. Don't we all? But he'll shout in the middle of an otherwise normal conversation and it takes everything I have not to assume he's being a brat.

    Last night, husband and I had a Come to J*sus mtng with-difficult child about paying back yet another computer game thing he did, and I suggested that he rake leaves for neighbors to earn money.

    "I don't want to rake strangers' leaves."

    "But everyone needs their leaves raked, this time of year."

    "I don't CARE!"

    "But what I'm saying is that everyone needs their leaves raked, IOW, it's an open market. LOTS of people, lots of money."

    "You don't understand! I don't CARE about raking STRANGERS' leaves."


    husband said, "I think the issue isn't the leaves, it's strangers."

    "Like I SAID, I don't CARE about the NEIGHBORS."

    Oh. Sigh. Alrighty, then.

    (If somehow, the neighbors' leaves could magically fly into our yard, difficult child could rake and bag them and put them curbside, but if it involves actually soliticiting a neighbor, no way, Jose'.)

    I have to learn not to FEEL the SHOUT, but somehow, decipher the meaning. This stuff ain't easy, ya know?

  2. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Oh, I hear ya!! Eeyore is the same way.
  3. buddy

    buddy New Member

    yup, I get it.
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Uh huh.

    And then their voice starts cracking, and it cracks when they are making a major point, and the rest of us crack up, and its a REALLY ugly scene, really fast.
  5. keista

    keista New Member

    Interesting. Mine's not a shouter......anymore. She will raise her voice a little, but she lowers her tone to a growl (indoor or library shouting)

    About the strangers' leaves. Is it their leaves and property he has a problem with? Or the actual soliciting of the work? If it's the latter, maybe you or husband (or even a therapist) can do the solicitation with him? It is a life skill that's worthy of exploration.
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    sonic would do it for money...lolol!!!! But he is not comfortable around people he doesn't know. Still..to him, money trumps all!
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Yes, the rest of us would bite the bullet and do it for the money but difficult child is NOT into soliciting neighbors or strangers for anything. The first--and only--yr he sold candy for his baseball team, I went door-to-door with-him. You know how, on Halloween, the parents stand at the curb and the kid goes to the door? difficult child stood at the curb and I went to the door.

    Just one more item for the therapist, indeed ...
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Funny, my difficult child is not on the spectrum but is very similar. The other thing he does is when he gets excited about anything he squeals (loudly) with delight. It drives us all nuts but I'm not sure how much control he actually has over this.
  9. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    You mean that's not a normal kid thing?