Life's massive monkey wrenches...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by greenrene, Feb 6, 2013.

  1. greenrene

    greenrene Member

    Sooooooooo, I've posted in General some about my difficult child going to live with my sister in law and the ensuing fallout with my husband... husband seems to have calmed some, and things between us are going okay as far as I can tell, although there is still much work to do. I saw difficult child's old therapist yesterday, and I saw a new therapist today who seems to be REALLY good, and I'm going to be following up with that.

    I also posted about my decision to have weight-loss surgery, either the Lap Band or a laparoscopic sleeve gastrectomy. I had an appointment next week for a consultation with the surgeon, but I've had to cancel it because...

    Today I had a positive pregnancy test.


    OMGOMGOMG!!!!!! I'm stunned. husband is stunned. I'm also petrified - this is going to be really hard. I had gestational diabetes with my last pregnancy, so I'm going into this one with the plan of going ahead and planning to eat as if I had GD already. I am also very overweight. I'm also 37! Talk about monkey wrenches! Yikes!!!!!
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Congratulations! If of course, it is what you want. Having had 3 completely surprise kids, I know the shock you are in. I was 16 weeks along when I found out about Wiz. It had to be a fast adjustment. Esp because I had already been told to plan on a long, hard road of fertility treatments if I wanted kids. husband thought he was Superman, lol.

    I wish you the best. GD is a tough road, and I hope you do well with it.
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I've decided God decides when to bless us........I don't think we have as much to do with it as we like to think we have since all 3 of mine I was on a form of BC. lol I enjoyed every surprise I was given too.

    Good idea to go ahead and eat as if the GD is already an issue, gives you a head start if it pops up again......and gets you used to eating healthier which is win/win.

  4. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Oh, my goodness. With the past history of GD, you will definitely want to coordinate proper diet with your OB.
  5. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    :congratualtions:That is wonderful. I know you are surprised, but how great.
  6. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

  7. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

  8. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    Congratulations! I think it's great you are going to go ahead with the GD diet. I had GD with both of my pregnancies.
  9. Rabbit

    Rabbit Member

  10. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

  11. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Don't worry about the "37" part... I was older than that with K2. There is more risk over age 36 if it's your FIRST one, but that doesn't apply to you.

    Mixed feelings, boy, I'm sure I'd be feeling the same way.
  12. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

  13. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

  14. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Oh my goodness! And you really had no idea??? That's one heck of a Monkey Wrench!

  15. Congrats. I have read a few anecdotal reports of successful use of hypnosis to mimic the eating habits of someone who has undergone GB. That maybe a viable option. I've been considering it myself since medically I could not actually have the surgery.
  16. greenrene

    greenrene Member

    We weren't exactly trying, but we weren't exactly preventing, either, BUT - I haven't been on BC since my almost-4-year-old was born. I thought my weight was preventing me from becoming pregnant, which was part of the reason I wanted to go ahead with the surgery.

    And I HATE DRAMA, and I'm not usually a drama magnet, but some major shizz has been hitting the fan lately. I found out this morning that my sister in law is thinking now that it's "not going to work" with difficult child living at her house, so in all likelihood, difficult child will be coming back home soon. Somehow my pregnancy was the last straw? I don't know. She's been very upset with her brother (my husband) for not being supportive and involved like she thinks he should be, and I get that.

    Over the weekend, I had almost $200 stolen from my wallet, money that I'd been saving for raised garden beds. All arrows pointed to my only other "friend" here besides my sister in law, although I hated to think that she would steal from me. My husband talked to her husband, and she ended up confessing to her husband that she had, indeed, stolen my money.

    So now that friendship is severely wounded if not over, and things aren't so great with sister in law... difficult child is probably coming home, and I'm freaking pregnant.

    On the plus side, my husband has been very loving and supportive. This is just not going to be easy at all.
  17. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    I would doubt that the pregancy had anything at all to do with your sister in law's decision.

    Think about it:

    She took on the role of "hero" - stepping in to save the day for difficult child and your family. (This is actually pretty common....many parents here have encountered "heroes" who thought they could just swoop in and make everything better.)

    She quickly discovered that "saving the day" was not going to go as smoothly as she thought...

    AND she was not receiving the praise and appreciation from her brother for being the "hero" - instead she was receiving anger and resentment.

    So she was getting flack from difficult child and flack from the family...and undoubtedly a lot more stress and trouble at home than she had before.

    Given a choice? Most people would "opt out" of "borrowed" problems...and it sounds like sister in law has decided to opt out of this particular stressor...


    So sorry it's come down to this.
  18. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Congratulations! I hope your husband can see that difficult child coming home is not an option. She needs a placement that can make a difference. He has to be convinced that time is running out. Your kids are already unsafe and now with the exhaustion and needs of a newborn you're going to have less ability to protect them all. Crossing my fingers for you!
  19. greenrene

    greenrene Member

    I get that, DF.

    But oh, now sister in law has this whole huge "plan of action" for difficult child that she "hopes" we can stick to because difficult child's grades have been improving, etc etc yadda yadda yadda.

    Nevermind the fact that, around here, difficult child has been known to throw a total temper tantrum over SOCKS. And I'm still the whipping boy scapegoat for all that is wrong with her, according to just about everyone (even sister in law, to some extent). Plan of action, my foot.
  20. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Sounds like sister in law wants to get going now that the going is getting tough....but still wants that "hero" role - and the credit for "fixing" things.