Limiting my posting for now

[BusynMember]

Hi, friends.

I have decided, not to quit posting, b ut to limit my posting to mostly advice to parents who have adult children that have gone through what my adult kids went through a long time ago. My reason is, I am doing so well in my personal life and none of my kids are problems now...Bart will always struggle under pressure, but I am proud of how he takes care of the bills, goes to work, and loves his son. We are close and talk every day as I do with almost all my kids...every day, every other day. I have gone through a lot with Bart in his 20's (and during his custody battle the first time) and with Princess in her teens, but am proud of how they turned out. Goneboy is not an issue anymore.There are no hard feelings and lots of understanding.

I don't want to post on FOO because the kids are really back in that forum and I basically do not have the same problems with my grown kids now. Trust me, if that changes, I'll tell you!! I am also pretty done with worrying about my family of origin. I think that no contact with them just put them out of my mind and think it's a good solution for some people (not all). It has been the magical solution for me a nd makes me feel silly that I didn't think to do it myself years ago. I do not know why I felt I had to stay in touch with people who really didn't like me and who have no clue about mental illness and who think they are better at diagnosing me than all the psychiatrists who have. Total lack of compassion there, although I totally do not pity myself and have my mood disorder in control. Now, with no contact from those who don't understand, I don't care what they think. I have a very good family of choice...they matter. Those who don't care about me, DNA or not, do not matter.

I will pop in on FOO sometimes for encouragement to my dear friends. I am not angry at anyone.

Also, I have to think about FOO member of mine who reads my posts and don't want her to have any more keys to my heart. I don't think she will ever stop reading t his forum and pouring my heart out with her reading it is not a good idea for me.

To my friends Copa and Cedar, I lost t he password to my gmail account when I was in the hospital. I can be reached in PM and WILL answer. Love you still.

So...in other words, if I think my two cents will be worthwhile, I'll post on the "what should I do" forums. If not, I won't, but will still read.

Thanks for understanding less posting I'll still be around and reachable.

 

[New Leaf]

Oh SWOT this is a good thing for you, it means to me that you are healing from all of the stuff.
Good for you. I will miss you, but understand your reasons.
You will be in my heart and prayers.
I will look forward to whatever you post.
You are so strong.

Peace be to you.
(((HUGS)))
leafy

 

[BusynMember]

Oh, Leafie. I'm not leaving! I'm just limiting what I post as some FOO people who know me read my posts. I'm still here and will look forward to your wonderful posts and amazing poetry!

 

[nlj]

Hi MWM

You were the first person to respond to my very first post on this site. I still have it:

Hi there. I'm really sorry you have to walk this path, but we do understand.

I think you'll get a bigger response if you start your own thread. What you did was add on to a very old one. You'll get more attention if yours stands alone.

There is only one person you can help and control and that is yourself. Nobody else is within your power to change. And you deserve a good, peaceful, fun life even if your son is choosing to self-destruct.

Although we always fear the worst, it rarely happens. These adult kids with no clue about societal norms or just a lack of regard for them tend to survive. They don't thrive on our terms, but they do help one another to survive the way they choose. We are good, caring parents, but they don't listen to us and it is useless to destroy ourselves, our health, our pressures and the relationships we have with loving other family members and friends all because we are worrying about something/somebody we can not change.

If you start a new thread, you may get more responses than if you keep it here Welcome to our board but so sorry you had to come to it.

The biggest strength of this forum is the parents who have lived through it all and come out the other side and can share their experiences with new members. I feel a bit like one of those now. That's pretty amazing, considering where I was when you wrote this reply.

So, limiting posts is fine, but keep responding to new parents who are crying out for someone who understands.

 

[New Leaf]

Oh good SWOT, I am relieved you will still be here, I have learned so much from you. I will look forward to your amazing insight and wisdom you have shared.
I am sorry for this, about your FOO people. Sigh. It is hard. We want to be able to heart speak without people judging or using it against us.
I am glad you will be around in other ways.
You are a wonderful sister warrior.
Thank you for your kind words.
Off to work I go.....
(((Hugs)))
Leafy

 

[Tanya M]

I'm glad that you are not leaving but only limiting. When I first came here to this site you were so warm and welcoming.
You have much to offer new members and am happy you will still be here.
((HUGS)) to you......

 

[Lil]

I think it's wonderful that your problems with your children are, well...no longer problems to the point you need to be on P.E. asking for help. Gives us all hope for the future.

 

[BusynMember]

I have been here fifteen years. I could not leave for good. Thanks to all of you.

 

[Scent of Cedar *]

It was kind of you to post this for us. It feels like we matter, very much.

:O)

Thank you, Serenity.

Cedar

 

[Quicksand]

I'm happy for you! I just want to say thank you for the advice and care you've given to me. You're awesome!

 

[pasajes4]

Good for you.

 

[BusynMember]

I got out of the habit of posting in the hospital...lol. Then I could only use one finger to post. I think it's better to use this more lightly now.

 

[Copabanana]

Bart will always struggle under pressure, but I am proud of how he takes care of the bills, goes to work, and loves his son

We are who we are. What has a higher value, especially to those who lacked the kind of love and devotion and loyalty given by Bart to Junior?

I will pop in on FOO sometimes for encouragement to my dear friends.

Thank you Serenity. I feel like you are in my real family. I hope I am never without you in my corner. Remember that I am in yours.

I was so frightened when you went out of touch. I am so grateful that you let us know.

I understand your choice to step back a bit into your real life. You deserve all of and only the best. Consolidate all of the friendships and activities that will nourish you and sustain you. We are always here for you. Count on that. As you have been for us.

I am not angry at anyone.

I know. Is that not a wonderful thing, to reclaim all of your strength, to love, only to love, and for gratitude?

To my friends Copa and Cedar, I lost the password to my gmail account when I was in the hospital. I can be reached in PM and WILL answer. Love you still.

And I love you, Serenity. And the deepest gratitude for all you have taught me and shared of yourself. You are so strong. You tell the truth. Over and over again if need be. That is not always the easiest thing to do. The truth can be hard to hear. For me, it was. But after all is said and done, you have told me truths I needed to hear and to learn. I hope you continue to do so, as you can and want.

Serenity, you were the first person to respond to me, too. Like with NIJ. This forum has made all of the difference for me, and still does. You as if welcomed me. I will always be grateful.

All of us, I know, will miss you. But all of us want you to have the best that life offers. Thank G-d you are OK to enjoy it all. Soak it up, Serenity. We love you and we are happy for you.

COPA

 

[BusynMember]

I am not quitting. I will be here. Who knows what could happen later?

I am not out and about yet. I am just starting to realize that most posters are still in a very bad place with their adult children and I feel kind of bad posting because that is sort of the past for me (for now). And as for FOO, I am really sort of detoxing well from them. Because I never deal with my toxic people in lFOO, I don't think as much about my mother's cruelty in the past either. I can accept it and accept what she did to me and move on. My sister reminds me a lot of her, so without Sis around, I don't think of my mother either. For me, true detachment was the right choice, but I'm not going away.

Copa and Cedar, you will always be special to me and I can always be reached by PM. Love you both and all my friends here who helped me when I needed it the most! We are family!

 

[Scent of Cedar *]

:O)

Cedar