Keep in mind as I write this post, I assume we are all open and honest. I left my husband 4 years ago. At that point I was the president of the man hating club. I waited more than a year before I even talked to a guy. It was about that time that I started to get lonely. So I stuck my toes in the dating pool. For me, the biggest challenge is not my psycho ex-arse, but my 16 year old daughter. I have had two "boyfriends" since I left the ex. Neither ended well. And I tend to think if I don't learn from the past I'm destined to repeat it. The first one was amazing. He was kind, sweet, attentive. He liked my girls. Once, he tried to give me advice on DQ. Saying "You need to show her some respect if you ever want to get any." I politely ripped him a new one, and explained that he has no point of reference to speak on parenting since he hasn't raised any children. Further, he didn't have enough time invested with DQ to fully understand the whole situation. And lastly that he should never use the words "You need to" with me. He slipped a few times and I would raise my eyebrow at him and he would immediately apologize. Fast forward a couple months and I was madly in love, as was he. It was like one of those fairy tales. We never fought. There was laughter, and slow dancing in the middle of the kitchen. He would sometimes wake me with soft singing. It was as perfect as any relationship could be. And then all hell broke loose. DQ cut her arms up, ended in the ER. I had to be with her for 3 solid days until they found a bed for her in a psychiatric hospital. Finally on the night I took her to be admitted, he broke up with me. He didn't understand the complexity of mental illness. He didn't understand why I was handling it the way I was. I felt like someone had dragged my face across concrete. But I had to muster the strength to get back up and do what I needed to do for DQ. The second was great at first, (aren't they all) but the more time he spent with us as a whole, the angrier he got with DQ. Which I understand. No man wants to witness their girlfriend being screamed at, no matter who is doing the screaming. Doesn't mean I was going to put up with it. I explained that she was baiting him into a fight, because that's what she loves to do. Again, he couldn't wrap his head around it, and left. Never really giving a real reason, he was just gone. Which was totally fine with me, because he was doing more harm than good. That was a year ago. Since then DQ has escalated little by little. Aside from her outburst at our family, she is highly inappropriate when my male friends come to visit. I should qualify this by saying, I don't have girl friends. I have guy friends, because I get along with them better. There is no hanky panky, which most outsiders tend to question, but it's true. She will wear skimpy clothing, with her boobs hanging out. I tell her to go put a shirt on, and when she refuses, My best friend especially, will tell her to do what her mother said! I've been told that she makes some of them uncomfortable, the way she acts, dresses and talks. She cornered one of them into a discussion about how great it was to have sex for the first time. While my friend tried to be there to listen and give her responsible adult input, she turned around and asked why he was using clinical terms rather that the "P" word and the "D" word. He immediately came to me to discuss this. It made him very uncomfortable. You can see why I'm terrified to even get into this with someone new. But I am lonely. And I think part of taking care of myself, for me at least, is to find something lasting and meaningful. And then there's the old saying, "if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." I know that DQ is not going to get better. It's like a catch 22. If you're upfront with someone, why wouldn't they bolt. I mean who really wants to sign up for this craziness. But if you don't give them all the information, it almost feels like tricking them. I started seeing someone a couple weeks ago. Just a couple of dates, but we talk every day. The other night, when the police were here, he texted to see how my day went. I am nothing if not honest, so I told him what was going on. What DQ was really like. I told him what her diagnoses is and suggested that he look it up. I also explained that I don't need to be rescued. I've got her situation on my own. But that he should know the whole picture. He said he understood, he would look it up, and he was there to listen if I need to vent. He said he knows I don't need to be rescued, it's one of the things he likes about me. That I'm independent. Did I do the right thing? What have been some of the challenges you guys have gone through with romantic relationships? Any advice?