This might not be the place for this, but I'm looking for advice from wherever I can get it. I have a job where I work with children to develop their cognitive skills. I'm skeptical of the efficacy of the program, but I took the job because I knew I was going to get to observe kids with difficult behaviors. Not being a psychologist, I know it's suspect to say "likely ODD", but the child in question is a more extreme case of constant defiance and refusal. I don't think the program is appropriate for him and I find the situation a little heartbreaking, but I need to do whatever I can for the child. He generally refuses to do many of the tasks requested of him regardless of difficulty. And you have to take everything out of his reach - all books, papers, pencils, and so on or he will fidget with them and tear up the paper. He often makes physical attempts to "break into" the space behind my desk to grab the items I've removed from his reach. Failing that, he starts to tip over the desk and his chair. Today I could see that his feelings got hurt when I said we were going to do his favorite task, then changed my mind since I wanted to save it for the end. I'm one of the least aggressive people working there and I don't want to play the "battle of wills game" that is a staple of some kinds of teaching and demands. I want to have as trusting a relationship as possible with this child because I know he's already in a battle with many of the adults in his life, and I don't want to add to his burden. He was quite happy with how well he did on his favorite task and was excited to show his grandmother, but for most of the 90 minute session we just sat with him playing with his "fidget spinner" (which he's not suppose to have) because he refused to work. He was more physical today than usual and I don't want to meet that with forceful coercion while I figure this out.