Looking for placement options...AGAIN!!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by C130family, Aug 18, 2007.

  1. C130family

    C130family New Member

    It has been a long time since we posted. After 5 years of RT our difficult child has been living here at our home with "wrap around" services as he transitons. He is now 15 yrs old.
    It is not working, even our counselors want us to look at options for him. The state of GA will not foot the bill as far as I know.
    So what options are there.
    So far I know of three.
    1. Keep doing this home life hell
    2. Give up custody (yes I know the ramifications)
    3. Unruly child charges at the Juvy court.

    Are there private options. He is no longer considered a level 6
    Now it's just the ODD side that :censored2: and totally disrupts the family. I know my Insurance will not cover too much. I'd be willing to pay out of pocket to a point but even that has major problems.

    Let's just say I'm fed up and I don't see things improving.

  2. SunnyFlorida

    SunnyFlorida Active Member

    I remember you. My husband is an ex F/16 guy :smile:

    Why don't you try Teens/SA forum. There has been a few of us there who may be able to assist you.
  3. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I hope you will find some answers to your questions. I'm a little unclear. Who is it you are wanting to give up custody to?
  4. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Hi there - I remember you well. So very sorry to hear that things are not working out with- difficult child at home. How long has he been back?

    thank you was just discharged from Residential Treatment Center (RTC) last month and instead of trying to bring him straight home again (the last 2 tries were unmitigated disasters in pretty short order), he's now living in a transitional living program. Essentially, it's a group home run by a private mental health agency that provides the bulk of job and living supports for mentally ill adults in our area. The focus of the program is to get him to bone up on living skills (finances, housekeeping, public transporation) as well as social skills and getting his education completed. It's given him a great deal of freedom but at the same time does have the therapeutic component as well as staff who are prepared to deal with- a difficult child in all his glory, although to a more limited point than Residential Treatment Center (RTC). So far so good, but that really doesn't mean much. :wink: It's been summer school so not a lot of expectations there, plus thank you's typical honeymoon outside of Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is about 2.5 months. But I do think this is his best chance at learning to live outside of a locked environment without falling apart. For some reason, coming straight home just hasn't worked. The goal is for him to return at some point down the line, but he doesn't have to if he doesn't want.

    I'd strongly suggest checking with adult mental health providers/programs in your area and see if they are aware of any transitional living programs for teens, and options for funding. Your son should qualify for SSI once again if he's not living at home and that should help a bit with- funding.

    I think for some kids, home and family are huge triggers. With thank you, our love for him feels like a huge expectation, which is just hard to wrap my head around but there it is. He loves us, I'm sure, but also has to push us away at the same time. As you know, it makes for a miserable home life, especially for siblings.
  5. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    I agree with slsh, a transitional living arrangement would have helped my difficult child. The financial pressure after egbs was great so we brought him home. One of my mistakes.
    I would also look for a program via local MHMR agency that will help a 15yr old with a bipolar diagnosis. Your child can not be the only 15yr old with a diagnosis and a behaviors. Find out what others are doing. Attend a local group of parents of bipolar adolescents for ideas and suggestion.
  6. C130family

    C130family New Member

    Slsh and Fran!!
    Thanks for the reply. I'll take a look at adult placements. Also, I really do not want to go down the Giving up custody route. Declaring myself and my wife "unfit parents" and paying child support to the state sounds bizarre.
    It is good to hear from ya'll.

  7. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I'm still unclear on who you would give up custody to. Is this something that you have researched already?
  8. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    MsMagnolia - In Ohio parents can relinquish custody to the state. I don't know how it works, but there are many parents with mentally ill children who have been forced to relinquish custody to the state in order for their child to receive the help they need that the parents can't afford.

    I don't know how it works in GA, but just wanted to let you know that all states are different.
  9. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    One can always do a "lock out", refuse to pick up a child at hospital discharge, or otherwise force the state to take custody. It's certainly not an ideal solution, but it is one that has been considered by some parents on the board when things have reached a truly desperate state. I know when we considered it *many* years ago (again, borne out of desperation), we were threatened with- criminal charges, removal of our other kids, yada yada yada. At that point, it was 6 one, half dozen the other. Fortunately, we moved shortly thereafter and were able to find other resources.

    Again not ideal and I would guess, based on C130's previous posts, not something he and wife would pursue unless things were completely falling apart and there were serious safety issues involved.

    There are waivers (Katie Beckett or Medicaid deeming or other names) in many states to assist families in keeping severely ill children at home without giving up custody or having the child placed out of the home (WA and CA being 2 of them). Criteria in those 2 states were based on degree of disability and level of care needed - usually if the child required essentially nursing home/custodial type care. Much easier to obtain for a child with a severe physical disability. Time Lady is the only person I think I've met who got a waiver for her difficult children. IL has a grant program for severely mentally ill children and I believe it's the only program like it in the country. Of course, there are no waivers available for the physically disabled in this state.

    We did consider moving to IN before thank you got the grant here, because in IN you can relenquish custody to the state in order to have the child receive Residential Treatment Center (RTC) placement. Per his psychiatrist at the time, all it would have taken was documentation of his multiple hospitalizations, his ongoing dangerous behavior, and psychiatrist's recommendation.
  10. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I know when kids get beyond 16 the authorities care less and less about whether you house them or not. It's very sad. It leaves everyone unhelped. But even in states where you can "give up custody" to the state, it can't be easily accomplished. I'm sure it's much easier when you are refusing to let a child back home than when the child is already there, especially with wrap around services in place.

    I'm still not sure if that is what C130 is referring to. I was going to suggest he hire an attorney and get some private psychiatrists and tdocs to back him up if it is, because with all those people up in their business, it could be very difficult. Perhaps this option has been offered to his family? Without knowing the circumstances, it's hard to comment and not make mistakes.