I am back for an update on my homeless, mentally ill, and drug addicted stepson. When I last posted, he had entered into a 30 day program at a local homeless shelter. The goals of the program were basically to provide short term housing while they looked for something more permanent, and ideally to get him working a job in some capacity.
He is coming to the end of his residency and as of this post, has not been kicked out. He has been doing drugs and becoming delusional on and off, in addition to refusing to take his medication for bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. One night during the week he left the shelter at 2:00am, leaving a note saying that he did not want to stay there anymore. He must have thought better of it and returned a few hours later.
He is ready to leave the shelter, which I understand. He became angry when my husband refused to buy him a tent and take him to a campground. Angrier still when he was told returning to our home or his mother's home were not an option. My husband has spoken extensively to the shelter and a few friends he has made there. They say he is not being mistreated or bullied in any way, but appears to be getting fed up with having to follow their rules and becoming dramatic about it.
The ACT program and the shelter are supposed to be securing him more permanent housing, but it is taking a while. The ACT folks get paid through Medicaid to case manage him, but are more often than not missing in action. I think my husband is feeling guilty about his son getting fed up with the shelter but as yet having no place to go. I agree that ACT has been dragging their feet, but have tried to emphasize that this whole situation is between ACT and my stepson. Even if ACT is being negligent, our son put himself in the homeless shelter with his choices, not us.
He only makes contact with his dad if he needs something - a ride, money, or to bring him something. My husband has been hung up on a few times for not allowing him to sell his possessions for a pittance - a $1200 kids motorbike for $200, a prized gold chain he was gifted at graduation, worth $500 but he wanted to sell it for $50. He sold the cellphone his mom pays for and was furious with her a few days later when she would not buy him a new one or continue to pay for a phone plan, his rationale being that he was forced to sell his phone because we would not give him $200.
I mention these details to illustrate the fact that my stepson has no desire to save for his future accommodation and living needs. If he ends up having to or deciding to leave the shelter before permanent housing is arranged, he will expect us to find him a place to live. My husband has been doing really well with putting the responsibility for this on my stepson up till now. I think he feels that if his son ends up on the street at this point, it will be because ACT is not doing their job, and therefore not something that my stepson is entirely responsible for. It is messing with my husband and pulling him back to a place he has worked really hard to move on from.
Questions for you guys :
1. Has anyone worked with the ACT program? What was your experience? Any tips on lighting a fire under them to get things moving?
2. What is our obligation to step in and help if ACT drops the ball completely and my stepson ends up sleeping in the park?
( I know this is down to us but would love some other perspectives. )
As always, I so appreciate the thoughts and feedback provided on this site and thank you for reading. Hugs to everyone.
He is coming to the end of his residency and as of this post, has not been kicked out. He has been doing drugs and becoming delusional on and off, in addition to refusing to take his medication for bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. One night during the week he left the shelter at 2:00am, leaving a note saying that he did not want to stay there anymore. He must have thought better of it and returned a few hours later.
He is ready to leave the shelter, which I understand. He became angry when my husband refused to buy him a tent and take him to a campground. Angrier still when he was told returning to our home or his mother's home were not an option. My husband has spoken extensively to the shelter and a few friends he has made there. They say he is not being mistreated or bullied in any way, but appears to be getting fed up with having to follow their rules and becoming dramatic about it.
The ACT program and the shelter are supposed to be securing him more permanent housing, but it is taking a while. The ACT folks get paid through Medicaid to case manage him, but are more often than not missing in action. I think my husband is feeling guilty about his son getting fed up with the shelter but as yet having no place to go. I agree that ACT has been dragging their feet, but have tried to emphasize that this whole situation is between ACT and my stepson. Even if ACT is being negligent, our son put himself in the homeless shelter with his choices, not us.
He only makes contact with his dad if he needs something - a ride, money, or to bring him something. My husband has been hung up on a few times for not allowing him to sell his possessions for a pittance - a $1200 kids motorbike for $200, a prized gold chain he was gifted at graduation, worth $500 but he wanted to sell it for $50. He sold the cellphone his mom pays for and was furious with her a few days later when she would not buy him a new one or continue to pay for a phone plan, his rationale being that he was forced to sell his phone because we would not give him $200.
I mention these details to illustrate the fact that my stepson has no desire to save for his future accommodation and living needs. If he ends up having to or deciding to leave the shelter before permanent housing is arranged, he will expect us to find him a place to live. My husband has been doing really well with putting the responsibility for this on my stepson up till now. I think he feels that if his son ends up on the street at this point, it will be because ACT is not doing their job, and therefore not something that my stepson is entirely responsible for. It is messing with my husband and pulling him back to a place he has worked really hard to move on from.
Questions for you guys :
1. Has anyone worked with the ACT program? What was your experience? Any tips on lighting a fire under them to get things moving?
2. What is our obligation to step in and help if ACT drops the ball completely and my stepson ends up sleeping in the park?
( I know this is down to us but would love some other perspectives. )
As always, I so appreciate the thoughts and feedback provided on this site and thank you for reading. Hugs to everyone.