Made progress and now this...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by MommaK, Jun 21, 2016.

  1. MommaK

    MommaK Member

    Daughter had a class mate/ friend pass in a tragic accident. It has in less than 24 hours set her back some. My heart breaks for her. I am trying to be there and be supportive, but me not really knowing what to tell her makes her angry. She wants me to make it all better and I cant. I can only be there for her to talk to and cry on. Trying to explain anything to her in the state she is in is not helping, but only makes her frustrated. She does not handle waiting very well and she wants to pass thru every stage of grief now and not feel sad or scared or any of the other painful things we feel when grieving.
  2. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Maybe grief therapy could help her as she deals with each stage. Death is so hard for teens, but even harder for anxious teens. They still believe they are invincible.

    So sorry for your daughters pain.
  3. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Maybe you could get her to think about doing something for the family that just lost their daughter/son? Redirect her grief into helping others.
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  4. MommaK

    MommaK Member

    I have not consider that. Thank you for the idea. I will think on it.
  5. MommaK

    MommaK Member

    This evening in her therapy groups they did discuss grief all evening. Last week she began to realize that she isn't quite as invincible as she has believed, and then her friend passed yesterday sank that realization home extremely quickly. She is having trouble processing that now very suddenly very real fact as well as the shock of her friends passing. Combine the sadness and other natural emotions with her current manic state, and you have a child that is wanting to go go go and do do do without concern for the impact it may have financially, mentally, emotionally or physically on others and is using all of that to avoid the process of grieving.

    When you have to attempt to reign in a child in a manic state that is also grieving you are met with the full force of both the manic state and the emotions. Also attempting to help her not allow the sadness to cause her to slip into a depressed state, but rather function at a somewhat typical level creates a whole new conflict in so many ways. It's very hard for her to understand she can be sad and not be depressed. In her world sad equals depressed so depressed is where she typically allows herself to go when she becomes sad. Figuring out the balance and how to help her maintain that delicate balance is difficult.