Mattsmom277
Active Member
Can't type all the info right now. I'm going to let it all fester and stew and then settle into my thoughts rather than ride a roller coaster up to feeling really good. The next bump in the road would only send me that much further on. So after a day of letting it absorb, I'll come back and tell you all more of today's developments. I wanted to post a short message to summarize however for you who have been so supportive and warm to me through all of this.
I spoke with a new detective today. Things have been afloat that I was not aware of for the past 2 weeks since I did my interview with police. There are now 3 of us who have recorded criminal victim statements regarding my father. I never knew, oh how it felt to hear that! You can imagine I am sure. I need time to even absorb this major break through. This detective has more interviews set up already to take MORE statements. THey sound very in it for the long haul and determined to leave no stone unturned tracking victims (known and the ones suspected would crawl out of the woodwork if they learned this was going on). Monumental news on the statements front. Seems my former step-sister, one of the more major cases of his abuse from little I know of the details, has spoken with the investigator and the investigator seems confident a statement will be done soon. I posted last night about my sisters half sister (different young woman) having contacted me for the first time ever last night. The impression I was left with was she too, the most recent known victim, would do anything asked of her. SHe seems of all the players I've had contacted with in this unfolding situation, this 21 year old young lady is a person who will stand for herself regadless of it being difficult.
Obviously my spirits are much improved. But not only that, knowing a police deparment has more statements IN HAND already? Does something for healing my recent hurts that I can't describe. I'm learning from this also to not let myself count on osme of the poeple involved in this. Perhaps even MORE is going on that I'm not sure of with some of these women. I offer a silent apology as matter of fact, for the fact that unknown to the one aunt (who I'd grown close to) I was so hurt and angry at her for appearing to not be willing to stand up for what I know she wants to happen. It seems she might be not ready to tell people but I do believe one of these statements already completed is hers. I have a incredible feelings of shame about thinking of her in such a hurt and angry fashion. Lesson in hand today, I am going to try extra from here on out to keep faith, to squash fears that lead to anger because the future hasn't unfolded yet. I have already today been proven to have rushed to judgement and caused unneeded pain that I inflicted on myself ultimately. I will not let myself fall prey to that part of natural but unhealthy fears again.
SOme things that moved me to so overwhelmed I couldn't even shed tears, phrases or comments that stand out from this call from the investigator today:
- referring to this all as a "historical sex abuse case"
- investigator using certain words to describe my father: predator, serial offender, historical offender, monster
- the investigator telling me she KNEW my dad before my dad moved away, she currently KNOWS my former step sister and her mother (my fathers now ex wife, his 2nd, after my mother), that she has a recent experiences developing "historical sex abuse cases" (family abuse usually, that spans decades before a case can be built), her committment to working with victims to HELP them find a way to be okay coming forward so that she can get them on board
- investigator commenting at one point something about how builds these kinds of cases, tactics she uses to get reluctant victims to give statements, tactics she uses to get offenders to want to fess up, etc. This lady is on the ball and seems good and thorough in what she does
- biggest thing to stand out to me was her reference to wanting him "named and shamed" in the "public", as a really good starting ground. Meaning paper coverage of charges etc so his community KNOWS what he's like, as a great tool to help get a possible plea from him etc.
3 concrete statements in hand for that detective tells me this may take a long time, but already part of a huge battle is won.
I spoke with a new detective today. Things have been afloat that I was not aware of for the past 2 weeks since I did my interview with police. There are now 3 of us who have recorded criminal victim statements regarding my father. I never knew, oh how it felt to hear that! You can imagine I am sure. I need time to even absorb this major break through. This detective has more interviews set up already to take MORE statements. THey sound very in it for the long haul and determined to leave no stone unturned tracking victims (known and the ones suspected would crawl out of the woodwork if they learned this was going on). Monumental news on the statements front. Seems my former step-sister, one of the more major cases of his abuse from little I know of the details, has spoken with the investigator and the investigator seems confident a statement will be done soon. I posted last night about my sisters half sister (different young woman) having contacted me for the first time ever last night. The impression I was left with was she too, the most recent known victim, would do anything asked of her. SHe seems of all the players I've had contacted with in this unfolding situation, this 21 year old young lady is a person who will stand for herself regadless of it being difficult.
Obviously my spirits are much improved. But not only that, knowing a police deparment has more statements IN HAND already? Does something for healing my recent hurts that I can't describe. I'm learning from this also to not let myself count on osme of the poeple involved in this. Perhaps even MORE is going on that I'm not sure of with some of these women. I offer a silent apology as matter of fact, for the fact that unknown to the one aunt (who I'd grown close to) I was so hurt and angry at her for appearing to not be willing to stand up for what I know she wants to happen. It seems she might be not ready to tell people but I do believe one of these statements already completed is hers. I have a incredible feelings of shame about thinking of her in such a hurt and angry fashion. Lesson in hand today, I am going to try extra from here on out to keep faith, to squash fears that lead to anger because the future hasn't unfolded yet. I have already today been proven to have rushed to judgement and caused unneeded pain that I inflicted on myself ultimately. I will not let myself fall prey to that part of natural but unhealthy fears again.
SOme things that moved me to so overwhelmed I couldn't even shed tears, phrases or comments that stand out from this call from the investigator today:
- referring to this all as a "historical sex abuse case"
- investigator using certain words to describe my father: predator, serial offender, historical offender, monster
- the investigator telling me she KNEW my dad before my dad moved away, she currently KNOWS my former step sister and her mother (my fathers now ex wife, his 2nd, after my mother), that she has a recent experiences developing "historical sex abuse cases" (family abuse usually, that spans decades before a case can be built), her committment to working with victims to HELP them find a way to be okay coming forward so that she can get them on board
- investigator commenting at one point something about how builds these kinds of cases, tactics she uses to get reluctant victims to give statements, tactics she uses to get offenders to want to fess up, etc. This lady is on the ball and seems good and thorough in what she does
- biggest thing to stand out to me was her reference to wanting him "named and shamed" in the "public", as a really good starting ground. Meaning paper coverage of charges etc so his community KNOWS what he's like, as a great tool to help get a possible plea from him etc.
3 concrete statements in hand for that detective tells me this may take a long time, but already part of a huge battle is won.