Major Setbacks

[klmno]

In the past 24 hours I have found out 1) I can't get unemployment benefits/compensation, 2) the guy at VA who was supposedly trying to get housing for me since the lady representing transitional housing said all the shelter spots are full hasn't done didly squat and then tells me that we can "discuss options" on a conference call Thurs. morning but it would take weeks IF he got me approved (he was supposed to have already been trying to get me approved- I don't want to discuss options- I thought they were actually lining up a place to go or trying to get approval for section 8), and now 3) I didn't get the job at dss due to "the reason of separation from my last employment"- ie, having to take a leave of absence unexpectedly due to court, legal requirements, difficult child in psychiatric hospital, etc.

I have to go meet with difficult child's PO tomorrow. I can't tell you how sick I am of this system. All I can tell him is I have to be out of this house before the end of August and have no place for difficult child and myself to go because I can't seem to find an employer willing to deal with me having to rotate a schedule around whatever the courts, PO and school tell me I need to jump and do at any given time. This is absolutely absurd. This county claims that juvenile PO's are case managers and are there to get services necessary for the kid to get rehabilitated. Yet, they don't do squat besides require more and more time from a parent, digging them deeper in a hole, and write it all down as things continue to deteriorate more and more so they can report it to the judge, who then will order more, until the kid is turned over to DSS. But God forbid I should be the one to say that- then I'm just being paranoid and neurotic and that must have been the cause of the problem to begin with. I wish they would just **** or get off the pot. I have been telling them for 3 years now that they need to either take control and do something or untie my hands by releasing difficult child from probation/parole so I can. All I know is that I am used up and can't recouperate as long as they are still tring to have authority over my life. Any potential employer wants to be the one in control of the persons schedule. They aren't going to put up with this.

So who do I go to? It's supposed to be the PO but they don't do anything. Remember last year- I was at this point when I filed for relief after pushing every avenue I could to get county help but couldn't because difficult child was in control of the juvenile courts and my letter to the judge then outlined all this just for NOTHING to get done until I was at wits end and difficult child flipped and pulled a knife on me. There is NO ONE to go to.

 

[nvts]

sent you a pm!

Beth

 

[ML]

Oh KLMNO how devastatingly disappointing. I will pray tomorrow brings better news. I'm so sorry.

 

[KTMom91]

I'm so sorry, K. I wish I had some answers for you. Sending hugs and saying prayers.

 

[hearts and roses]

Hugs klmno. I'm so sorry your hands are tied and those who are supposed to be helping are doing nothing.

I am hoping someone comes along with an idea or two or three. My brain is off, but I'll send up a prayer for you.

 

[klmno]

Thank you, Ladies!

 

[emotionallybankrupt]

Klmno, I am so sorry. My dealings with "the system" had a similar theme but didn't go as far as yours have. Yes, I felt that I was suffering more for the probation meetings and court appearances that difficult child was, and I also thought she was very aware of that and enjoyed her power. I, too, had issues at work over having to be out so often. After it reached a certain level, co-workers were not very tolerant, and meanwhile, I felt helpless.

I hope your situation can turn around soon. I can tell you are exhausted and exasperated with it all.

Hey--and what's with knives? Does my difficult child know your difficult child? We had knife issues here too.

 

[AnnieO]

Lots of hugs, k. Little late reading this but I feel for you...

 

[klmno]

After sleeping on it, I have a few more thoughts about all this.

1) I now question whether or not the job I applied for was a valid job to begin with or a scam by this staffing agency to get temp people working for them. I found the ad online and responded to it, along with a few others. The responses I got from the others were clearly scams- trying to get me to send money or fill out applications with CC #s without showing any valid company name. This staffing agency is a real company, however it dawned on me that DSS is normally required to advertise their open positions on a government website. I checked this morning and they have no open position like what was advertised. It's possible that they are allowed to use a staffing agency under circumstances, maybe, but I'm not sure.

But when they lady from the agency called yesterday she first said that DSS had decided to close the position for now. I knew that didn't sound right so I politely said "oh, it sounds like they just decided to eliminate me as a candidate" and she then said "well, yes". I asked why and she told me I was over -qualified, they thought I'd get bored, and they were concerned about the cause of separation from last employment. I bought that at the time and just said I understood. Then she told me to call in any Monday morning if I was available for clerical work that week and they might be able to get me temp work doing that. I asked if that would require being able to type 60wpm or something like that, she said probably, and I said I can't do that. I have no ability at all in that area.

2) I've decided to only apply to ads for part-time jobs or part-time leading to full time work, at least for now. Once school is back in session and IF difficult child is behaving, I'll go for full time. This will cut down time away from work for appts and make it easier if the school calls and says I need to pick up difficult child- they might just have to wait a few more hours. If I'm working all day, I have no choice but to leave early to go pick him up.

3) It REALLY peeves me that if I was a foster parent of difficult child, none of the county people in any agency would be taking the "it's your problem" attitude and I could get financial help, help supervising difficult child, etc. But they don't offer that for people who are raising their bio child. Obviously that goes back to blaming the parent. And yes EB, difficult child has played it to the hilt knowing I'd get more blame than him in the past.

 

[Star*]

klmno -

I wonder - sometimes - and I'm not kidding at all here if DF and I applied for those foster parent classes to BECOME full-time foster parents and turned our house into a foster parent home and started taking IN the $1500 a month per kid that the state gives here if I wouldn't be able to
1.) supplement OR provide my income
2.) have a home that I could pay the bills for
3.) kept the state off my back because I WOULD be working for the state -technically AND
4.) HAVE the "desired" licensing to "keep" troubled youth.

Know what I mean??
Want to know the really BIZARRE thing? After all the trouble we had with Dude - after ALL the PROFESSIONAL people that made US feel like we were just complete and utter failures at being parents - WE were approached recently BY the system and asked to become FOSTER PARENTS. WOULD we take in kids like our son(s).....

I mean we stood there, literally with our mouths open, agape, sucking wind like a vortex and I don't think you could have painted a shocked look on our faces more vivid that either of us had naturally. I could NOT slap my hand over DF's mouth and usher him to the van while saying 'Thanks but no thanks' quicky enough, however I have NO doubts because the vehicle we have has no airconditioning - that they heard DF say what he said out loud. - and it was neither complimentary OR Christian in the least.

On the other hand - My thought was three boys in the house - all like Dude and Steven? and of course the social worker said - "Well yes, but 1500 a month each x 3 = (then my mind wandered and I thought NOT ENOUGH TO BURY ME) . hahaha....

But it IS a thought....

Hugs for your trouble dear - HUGE ONES and sending some strength your way------

 

[klmno]

Wow- that's a lot of money! It makes me wonder if they pay that much here. I'd have to give that some thought though. I wouldn't mind if I could really help someone but I wouldn't want to set up partners in crime. After all, my little bit of sanity that I think I have left is PRICELESS!!

I do wonder though if there are any programs that lend money and let you work part time and go to school to get realigned in another profession.

 

[totoro]

Crud crud crud
I had hoped that since I had been off the board for quite some time I would come back on-line and read a good story and I feel so stinking bad that the system is still the SAME! I honestly can't believe it.
Dealing with trying not to forclose on our house and the joke of that I can not imagine what you must feel and deal with...

 

[klmno]

I told PO about that potential job and asked if he'd ever heard of any of the local government agencies around here being allowed to use a staffing agency to find employees and he said no, it sounded like a scam to him too to get people in with the staffing agency for other types of jobs. I don't know why they would go that route- if they had temp openings for something I knew how to do, I would be more than happy to sign on for it. But I know I can't type fast.

 

[DammitJanet]

Some counties do hire their new hire caseworkers through temp agencies now. The county next to mine does. Mine doesnt. I hate it too because I tried to get hired to the county next to me with 10...count them 10...years of experience in what I did and they still wanted me to go through the temp agency. Problem was the temp agency wanted me to be proficient in Word, Excel and Access and I have never studied any of those programs in my life! I actually failed typing in high school...lol. I only learned to touch type because I bought my own computer in 99 and started IM'ng in the dark...lol.