Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by ksm, Apr 21, 2017.

  1. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    i saw another post on here about a son turning things around and completing basic training.

    My 19yo daughter is talking to a recruiter about enlisting. So far, she has taken an on line quiz and told me she scored very good. She came to our home to use the computer. For over two hours she read each question our loud, moaned and groaned about it, then selected one of the multiple choice answers. It reminded me of when she did a home school online her junior year.

    I don't know if she will continue this path, or if they will accept her, but I just told her that I am proud of her for learning about her options and what they have to offer.

    She has a slightly above average IQ...but low processing speed. I just hope she doesn't sign anything without more discussions with my son or us... I read that 10 to 15% do not complete basic training.

    She said the next step is a physical and taking a similar test at their office. I don't know what to think.

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  2. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    She called and said she needed her birth certificate. The plan now is...on Tuesday the recruiter will drive her to the next state (4 hour drive) hotel room and meals covered) then on Wednesday she takes another test, has a physical, and if passes will swear in.

    But, she wouldn't go to basic training until October. Then she told me she has to lose 4 pounds before her physical...and the recruiter is giving her a bottle of something to drink that will "flush" her system.

    Also she will attend physical training weekly that the recruiter organizes. I hope if she is serious...otherwise, it may be very difficult for her to get thru the physical requirements.

  3. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Sounds good to me! I hope it works out. This could be life changing for her.

    I'd be over the moon if my son were doing this!
  4. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    I am happy that she is motivated to check on all this. But concerned that she will be able to do the physical part...

    Plus, I'd like to see what happens if she rolls her eyes and does a hair flip when the drill sergeant tells her something she doesn't want to hear.

  5. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    I'd pay to see that!!
  6. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    BIIIIIG red flag! If that recruiter is giving her a "flush" so she can pass a drug test, who knows what other BS he's feeding her.

    Please report that recruiter to recruiting command IMMEDIATELY! While I hope your daughter can get into the Marines if that is what she is SURE she wants to do, this is NOT the way to do it.

    This behavior is proof that this recruiter is not interested in providing good Marines to the service, but rather in earning as many "warm body points" as he can.

    This is NOT someone you want working with your daughter. It's not fair to her and it is not fair to the Corps. Most importantly, he has NO interest in your daughter as a person or as a member of our Armed forces.

    GN (Army widow who knows a bit about how things work.)
  7. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    GN...I have been seeing seeing red flags. I am not sure if the drink is to pass a drug test or not. I looked up the height weight chart, and she is slightly over the standards. She does not use drugs, to my knowledge. But why not wait a couple weeks if she needs to drop three pounds?

    The other thing I found out, she isn't going to disclose past medical history! I believe she could get a waiver...she did take Rx for ADHD in 6th and 8th grade. And medications for mood swings... She has not been on any Rx for three years.

    I am afraid if she isn't upfront with her medical history, she will get booted out at some point and would not be allowed to enlist again.

    Last night she called and wanted to borrow our car to drive 60 miles to take papers to the recruiter. He only comes to our town a couple days a week. My husband said he would drive her...and she made it clear that he wasn't allowed to talk to the recruiter.

    She has a friend who is also in this process, but it is taking longer, as she is getting waivers for some previous condition...and it is taking longer. I don't know if daughter decided not to say anything because of that...or because the recruiter told her not to.

    Her plan right now is to leave on Tuesday with the recruiter, take a test and physical on Wednesday, and if she passes, to be sworn in. I asked her why can't she wait to be sworn in? She made it sound like she could change her mind up until boot camp! I tried to explain that is not what swearing in meant!

    As usual, red flags are popping up.

  8. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    I think I would want to at least get a business card from the recruiter to be certain that he does actually work for the marines.
  9. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Good idea Pigless, but I am positive he is legit. There is a recruiting office at the mall. I saw that she friended him on FB and looked at his FB page. I saw on his page that he is friends with some of her friends who are in the process of enlisting.

    We are a small town, so it is reasonable to have to go out of town for the testing.

    Crossing my fingers for a good outcome. Whether she is accepted or is turned away. Just want it to be on the up and up.

  10. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    Oh, good. Then I would just allow her to learn whatever she needs to learn from this experience. Even if she tries and doesn't make it, she will learn some valuable life lessons. I'm proud of her for trying; it shows maturity. And if she does the eyeroll and hair flip at a drill sergeant, there will be natural consequences.
  11. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    That's sort of weird. The recruiter husband worked with (Army) insisted on speaking with me extensively during the process, which wasn't rushed. (Of course, the geopolitical situation was different: Cold War years.)

    husband went in on delayed enlistment because he had to GAIN weight. Once you sign up, you are "in". The only way you can back out is if something happens that permanently prevents you from serving.

    For example, husband broke his ankle 5 days before his report date. After he was cleared by his personal orthopedist, he had to be cleared by the Army orthopedists as fit to serve before he could report for the next training cycle.

    The Army docs delayed him for another 6 weeks as there was some question as to whether he was healed enough to handle calisthenics and running/marching.

    (husband was already running on the ankle without problem.)
  12. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I would stay out of this and let her learn whatever lesson the universe needs to teach her. If the recruiter is scuzzy, then report him when the whole thing goes up in flames. Until then, you don't seem to have much to report.

    We had a recruiter here back after my brother was out of the service (Army), when we first got into the first Gulf War, who was really nasty. I ended up getting him tossed out of the Army completely. Acts unbecoming an officer I think is what he used. It was a really ugly story, and a long one for here. I don't think this recruiter is ethical, but I also don't think you can prove much. I doubt your dgd will make it, but I also don't think you can stop her from trying. I think it is something she will regret if she makes it to training. It is NOT fun, but they will cure her of that eye roll, hair flip and talking back. Heck, they cured my brother of talking back and he was shockingly bad at it. He knew every dang thing and was happy to tell everyone allllllll about it alllllllll the time. Drill Sargeants are genius at dealing with that.
  13. A dad

    A dad Active Member

    And the discipline it will teach you to keep a job. But do not get wrong they will cure you but it will not be forever you build yourself up and there will be flaws.
    I was in the army it was mandatory of course but I was and for 2 years I was instilled so much discipline it was hell for me. Of course after I got out I had to rebuild myself up again it destroys what makes you well you. It was like I was a drone. But I was unlucky I was healthy and with no issues so I was sent to a military base that focused only combat training. Hell on earth it was. Why was I not unhealthy I would have been sent to guard the border or on some infrastructure work or on some farming bases.
    Oh god why did you kept me healthy.
  14. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Not everyone makes it out of boot camp. My hub is a vet with lots of vet friends who have kids serving now. It is no picnic and you have to conform and go and do what they tell you, including fighting. I dont know if everyone learns discipline. Some just dont make it and get kicked out. But i wish her well and I agree with not interferring.
  15. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Some, like my husband, who was a rebel to the day he died, actually take it very seriously.

    He shaved his head the day before he reported. The day he left Ft. Dix after out-processing was the last time he cut his hair or beard/mustache unless work required it.

    The thing is, odds are if she "washes out" during Basic, most likely it won't be held against her unless it's for behavioral reasons, or for not disclosing pertinent info such as past medical or criminal history.

    It problems occur during Advanced Training, or worse, during active duty, she risks a "bad" discharge, and that would definitely severely impact her future in terms of employment, admittance to schools, and even finding housing.
  16. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Well today is the day she is to go with the recruiter for more testing and physical. But, there is always a but, we received a letter from the district court, and I was worried. I took the envelope to her and she finally admitted to a speeding ticket.

    I guess it was $177...but that was$477! An extra $300 for not showing up and paying on time. Her response? "What could I do, I didn't have the money!" (She would have had it if she filed for her tax return!!

    Now she has lost one of her 2 W-2 forms. And the one that she lost was from the Lone Star restaurant that closed down. I googled and found an IRS number that deals with lost W2's.

    We had "gifted" her a trip to see her other grandparents on the west I offered to use those funds to pay fines. But, before we do that, I am having her call (in front of me) the court and see if she can do community service instead...

    She also FB messaged the recruiter to tell him about this unpaid fine, to see if she should still go today, or wait until this is taken care of. I don't know if he answered her. I asked her if she didn't have his business card so she could call or text him. So...she's going to hunt thru her paperwork.

    I am still hoping that she can pull this enlisting thing off. She needs it. I don't know if the Marines need her.

  17. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    Granted, its been a LOONG time since I was in but what you described isn't how it worked back then. I signed up on the delayed enlistment program. Did all my paperwork, went to the recruiting station 45 minutes away once a week for PT (physical training) and to start learning some basic stuff. I didn't go to the MEP station till right before I went to boot camp. And as I was typing this, decided to do some checking.

    Meps At a Glance |

    Apparently that's how they do it now. Still, it looks like the recruiter is trying to fill a quota, not help someone make a proper life decision. And the whole "Flush Drink"??? Yeah, that's squirrely as all get out!
  18. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Yep. Jabber. husband also had to go to weigh-ins. Not only did they want him to put on 20lbs, they wanted to see MORE body fat as he had a very low BMI. husband was a dancer and martial artist who ran 10 miles a day on top of that.

    He had to go to MEPS as well once a week to be weighed and have his BMI checked.

    He did not have to PT,though. His exercise programs were considered adequate and he passed the PT test upon enlisting. Just too skinny for their tastes.

    But yeah, once he went on delayed enlistment, he belonged to the Army. He has a report date and everything.

    He got a royal chewing out over the ankle, too. A black recruiting sergeant told him, "You're proof white men can't jump!" husband shot back, "First of all, I'm short. Second of all, I can jump just fine. It's the landings that need work!" (He broke his ankle playing pickup basketball..)

    And they didn't call it "delayed enlistment' back then. They called it "delayed reporting"
  19. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    "White Men Cant Jump" and your husbands response....laughing.
  20. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Actually, having danced both modern and classical ballet, he certainly could jump.

    I was watching the game where he got hurt. He went up for a rebound, missed, and got fouled coming down, and landed on the outside of his left foot. *SNAP*