I couldn't decide which posting icon to use for this post. difficult child has been through a lot in the last month or so. First, as you might remember, he was in the E.R. and lithium was at toxicity levels. He was removed from the lithium at that point. Fast forward to a month later (2 weeks ago) and we were in the E.R. again for the same behaviors. This time, he was admitted. Initially, psychiatrist at inpatient facility added webutrin. Then, true to form, difficult child had no problems/incidents while there - went a whole week with no issues at all. psychiatrist was considering discharge. I met with psychiatrist and social worker in charge of difficult child's case at psychiatric hospital. When we discussed difficult child being discharged and returned to collaborative day program, difficult child flipped out. It was decided to give him a few more days, although our ins co. has decided that anything beyond that day is not 'medically necessary' and therefore they will not be covering it. I spoke with difficult child's usual psychiatrist (whom I love) and therapist and we decided that we would like to see what difficult child's baseline without medications is, so I met again last Friday with inpatient psychiatrist and had to argue, beg, cry, etc., to get him to agree to weaning difficult child off the seroquel and then off the welbutrin to see what we've really got under the surface of medications. husband and I are in agreement - we have given difficult child medications for 7 years now. We've been through about 15 medications, if my count is accurate. Nothing has ever seemed to make a marked difference. We also believe that while difficult child is inpatient, this is the safest, most ideal time to give this a shot. So, while it has been a bit scary for us, the weaning off of the seroquel is almost complete. Tomorrow he will have none. Then, they will remove the welbutrin and we'll see what we're left with. I must say that, so far, there is no negative difference. I visited with difficult child last night for more than an hour and he was funny, at ease, appropriately talkative and expressive. He said he had a stomach ache yesterday, but has been sleeping (which we were afraid would definitely be interrupted by the removal of the seroquel) and felt pretty good. I was sad when it was time to head home. In fact, on my way home, I cried because difficult child seems so well - if only he could be like he was last night all the time. I know it may sound weird that I cried when he's doing well, but it's like I caught a glimpse of a problem-free difficult child and just loved that for at least that moment he was comfortable in his own skin. Does that make any sense? I don't mean 'problem-free' for me - I mean 'issue free' for him. He tries so hard. The psychiatrist is sure that difficult child will require a mood stabilizer of some sort and some dosage when everything is said and done and I have no problem with that. I am not anti-medication, but husband and I would like to know that what we are doling out to difficult child each day is doing some good, you know? Hopefully, we have made the right call here and will see something positive at the end. You see, I still have hope - that's something, right??? Thanks for listening.