mother in law Admitted to Hospital

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Hound dog, Mar 31, 2008.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Today was the first day of spring quarter. But I never made it to class.

    mother in law called about 10:30 am. I was on the phone with easy child. (I have call waiting) So I flash over to mother in law. Now often I just call her back cuz the whole swtching line thing confuses someone who doesn't hear well. But this morning I got a funny feeling and so I answered.

    Her voice was shaking so bad I could barely understand her. She told me that from the knees down she was "numbish", her legs were swollen, she couldn't stop shaking, and "things just didn't feel right"

    Now mother in law never ever complains about anything. Never. If she tells you something like that you move. I tell her I'll be right over. (she lives 4 blocks away) I flash back to easy child and tell her to meet me at her grandmother's.

    We meet at mother in law's and I recall I don't have a key to the house. It's on the key ring Aubrey lost several months ago and I've as yet to find. easy child is alarmed because she called mother in law back and got no answer. I tell easy child I'll pick the back door lock. We're insde in mere seconds. We find her lying across her bed talking to husband on the phone. (I had emailed him since I couldn't get him via cell phone)

    No huge emergency. But we are majorly concerned. We contact her doctor, he wants her taken to the ER. So we call an ambulance. While gathering medication info and such to get everything ready to go I look at her medication minder. I had asked her if she'd taken her medications this morning. She'd said no because it wasn't time. But in the medication minder sunday night medications were still there but monday morning medications were not. So I showed her. She was adament she took last night's medications and hadn't this morning. So instead of arguing, we gave this info to paramedics.

    Her BiPolar (BP) was 200/80.

    She's not dehydrated as she was for her last admit last year. Blood work was good. Fam doctor wanted to admit her and take it from there. She wasn't thrilled but was in such intense pain from her arthritis that she agreed.

    It could be TIAs or mini strokes. She did fall two weeks ago, too, but refused to go to hospital to be checked. But I think it is just old age overwhelming her. She's 94, bless her heart, cripped horribly with extremely painful arthriitis. She is realizing (at least for the moment) living alone may no longer be a viable option.

    Honestly, I think her living alone has gone on too long. She should've been in assisted living last year. But refused and was stubborn. brother in law and his wife, grown kids too all took off to live in Virginia. So husband, myself, and the kids are the only family she has here. We can only do so much. :pouting:

    Keep fingers crossed and say some prayers that we can convince her that living alone is no longer a viable option for her.

    Oh, and by the way, the backdoor lock that I picked in less than 3 seconds will be replaced by sister in law tomorrow. The thought of her being that volnerable to a breakin is scarey as heck!
  2. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    94, God bless her heart!

    I will say a prayer...
  3. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Thank goodness she DOES have your family around to look after her. Hope this incident opens her eyes to the reality that she needs some help and that she'll agree to a change of living arrangements. Sure hope I'm as independent at that age -- let alone ALIVE! Good luck!
  4. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    Lisa, my mother has moved into an assisted living facility in Ohio. Since my brother passed away, she really had no family in SC but my apparently wack job sister in law who only interest was my mom's money (What little there is of it left)

    I spoke to her today and she LOVES her new place - has her own mini apartment, her own bed, sofa and she never has to spend a dime - people make sure she takes her medications, they do her laundry, buy her soap, garbage bags, and best of all she is close to her sister and neice. They have tons of activities and go on outings. They have a nice dining room, people are friendly and she thinks it is the greatest thing since sliced bread. She gets the care she needs and yet is independent in her own little place. Its near Youngstown I think - its been so long since I have been back east I have to look on a map to see where places are - is there a a town called Poland? LOL

    When her money runs out she will remain there and just turn over her ss check to them. Will pm you the name if your interested.

  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Thank you Marcie that would be nice.

    We have an assisted living place in town, really nice. We can't seem to get mother in law convinced it would likely be CHEAPER for her to live there than on her own.

    But other facilities might be good to have, on hand. If nothing else the one here may be full now.

  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I hope you are able to convince her to move to an assisted living place. She is very lucky to have you. Scary about being able to break in mere seconds.
  7. mom_in_training

    mom_in_training New Member

    Wow, 94 I too hope that you can convince her to go to an assisted living situation. A friend of mine moved their grandmother to a beautiful complex for senior citizens (Assisted living) and she loved it there because she still had the freedom to choose to cook for herself along with other things with assistance if ever wanted it or needed it. They had a huge aviary, Cafeteria that looked more like a ball room. She opted to join many new friends that she aquired in the cafeteria or the park like settings and passed when she was 106. She was a doll and very much in control of what she wanted. You would never know that this was a place for assisted living. I will keep your mother in law in my prayers.
  8. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I'm sure it's very disconcerting to consider giving up your independence. But, my money says that once she gets there (the assisted living facility), she'll love it.

    I'm glad you were there for her.
  9. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Lisa glad m i l is not in acute danger. I struggle with my mom about setting herself up to be in a dangerous situation. My mom's house is like fort Knox. If she were ill or there was a fire there is no hope of getting in. Think jail type bars on screen doors that lock.
    I am having a lock box put up that has the house keys in it in case of an emergency. Sort of like what realtors use except it's mounted on something immovable and sort of hidden. Vacation rentals use them. You can get them at Home Depot. I am putting one on my house so that if I lock myself out, I can get back in.

    Good luck with convincing her to go to assisted living. My mom at 81 and absolutely will not consider it. Still works one day a week. There is something about giving up the car(fortunately she never drove) and their house that just throws the elderly into a tiz. I'm sure I will be the same way about driving. In the end we have to help make their lives safe and secure. I suspect my mom will end up with me soon enough.

    It's scary to see our parents grow weak and vulnerable. Hope she is on the road to recovery soon. I know she has been a wonderful m i l to you. Hugs.
  10. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    That's a tough one. My maternal grandmother moved into a wonderful assisted living apartment at 90. She remained there until the last month of her life when we had to move her to a hospital. She had friends, food made, people who checked on her. She fought it for a good ten years, but was so happy when she finally settled in.

    My other grandmother, who I had guardianship of, refused to leave her home. It finally got to the point where I had the DMV revoce her driver's license, then had to get a court order for her to be placed. At first it was assisted living, then nursing home as they couldn't handle her. It was not pleasant, but she had Alzheimer's...would wander, etc. Her house was so filthy because she couldn't see. She was also so stubborn that she would not allow a housekeeper to come in every now and then.

    Maybe take mother in law on a tour of the facility. I found my grandmother a friend before she ever visited. I explained her situation...took her over there to spend the day with her. She LOVED it!!

    Good luck to you and I hope she's ok.

  11. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    mother in law is doing alright physically. A Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) and doctor says she is dehydrated. (yesterday he said she wasn't) Not so sure how much of that is to convince her that she needs assistance, though.

    She looked pretty darn good when I saw her in the wee hours of the morning. I got up at 5 am so I could hopefully catch the doctor. No such luck. Waited and waited and he didn't come til I left for school after 8 am. So, I'll sit there and try again tomorrow.

    Bare in mind this doctor may be the head of physicians or whatever they call it, but I'm not especially fond of him. He has power issues. I've thought so for some time, brother in law's wife confirmed it last night when I talked to her over the phone. Today he sent in the hospital SW to speak to mother in law about assited living, nursing home (what he's truely pushing for), and whatnot. mother in law went ballistic. The shaking started again until I explained to her that they are just giving her options, she makes the decisions. Problem is that I think while well intentioned, the sw only made matters worse. She started quoting off the wall prices ranges for both assisted living facilities and nursing homes. Even worse for any type of in home care.

    So now mother in law thinks she can't even afford to stay alive.:pouting: I think I managed to get her out of that mind set before husband and I left.

    So, tomorrow in the wee hours I'll be doctor chasing again, then back home to make a million phone calls for information on this stuff, (I know sw's pricing was way off), and just maybe I'll be able to squeeze in a bit of homework/studying before my first class after lunch.

    I might, and I stress MIGHT, have her talked into having someone come in for inhome care for 3 hrs a day 3 times a week. Depends on how much it costs. Money is becoming an issue for her, while on the other hand the house and stocks she owns is making it hard to find programs to help her. Makes me wanna beat my head against the wall.

    And all I've thought about today is how I'd like to knock brother in law and his wife's head's together for leaving us to handle all of this alone. They did it with my father in law, and now mother in law too. Burns me up at times like this.

    Gee....... How's all this for reducing my stress levels?? :dissapointed:
  12. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    If her assets are hindering programs, maybe she could put things in husband's name or some kind of living trust. I'm not sure if that would still affect things but it's worth looking into.

    Glad it wasn't anything serious though and I hope you can talk her into a safer option. Hugs.
  13. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Glad you were there to save her. No telling what would have happened if you were not such a clever girl.

    Good Job keeping your cool in such a horrible situation.