mother in law/stroke

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Lothlorien, Aug 22, 2010.

  1. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    mother in law has been passing out at night followed by severe ear pain. Her pcp put her on antibiotics for ear pain. Cardiologist put her on a Holter monitor, which father in law hits a button that calls in the activity. Neuro is sending her for an MRI of the brain, ear, throat etc. All the while, she refuses to go to the hospital.

    Last week, her voice went. Then, her tongue swelled on one side.

    She went to my ENT last week. He looks deeper into her throat and sees atrophy of her vocal cords, which he feels is the result of her having a stroke/mini strokes. He advised her to go to ER and have her admitted, yet she refuses. Her sister just passed away in February due to clogged arteries for which her intestines completely died and it was a very painful death.

    Could use some prayers that she doesn't continue to stroke. MRIs aren't until Wednesday. My father in law is fit to be tied. He hasn't slept well in weeks and he's really scared. father in law isn't the type to vent to the kids, but he's been venting to me and husband for the past week and I can tell how upset he is.
  2. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    Prayers going up for your family.
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I'm sorry to hear this. Has there been any thought about whether or not the strokes have effected her rationale enough to claim her incompetent to make decisions regarding medical treatment and going to the ER?
  4. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    She doesn't want to go to the hospital because she doesn't want to stop smoking.
  5. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    :hammer: Oh geez, that's awful, Loth! Reminds me of how my dad stuck his head in the sand over the past year or so. He obsessively charted, documented, photographed every little aspect of his physical being each day, but refused to seek the basic help he needed that would have allowed him to still be here today.

    I hope she is able to hold on long enough to get in for a proper assessment and treatment. I'm sorry you are getting the brunt of father in law's fear and frustration. It's an incredibly hard situation for everyone.

  6. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I'm sorry-
    My GFIL just spent the past 3 days in the Hospital had mini stroke. He came home Friday. Not much we can do at this point. My mother in law is a wreck as well. We are just waiting now to see if a he has the big one. They gave us the TIA/stroke instructions.
    Very scary
    I hope she goes in at least to help calm down father in law. Prayers going out.
  7. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Hugs and prayers going out. Hope she agrees to treatment soon.
  8. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I don't mind father in law venting. He's frustrated and upset. It's just uncharacteristic of him is all. I can see his stress and feel it. I feel bad for him. husband was close to tears this morning when I was talking to him about it. We want her to see our kids graduate from school and be at their weddings.....all the stuff we want our parents to see. Mini strokes are generally precursors to a major incident. We are all on edge.
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I hope she gets help and treatment soon and is able to recover from this!

    Would she agree to go to the hospital if you got her the nicotine patch, gum or lozenge? Not sure how old she is, but I also don't know if I would push quitting on her as it is hard on your body also. Maybe if you can get the patch so she doesn't have cravings and withdrawal from the nicotine she would be more willing to go to the hospital? Esp if you agreed to sneak them onto her if the doctor/nurses took them off? I would see getting treatment for the strokes or whatever is happening as being a bigger priority than making her stop smoking.

    I understand why there is no smoking in hospitals, but I also wonder how many people refuse to get medical care because it is so hard to stop smoking. Seems like the patch would be a way to find a middle ground. Be aware that if she breaks any bones that the nicotine and other components in tobacco will slow healing drastically. My first, best, neck surgery was done by a doctor who simply refused to treat anyone who smoked or used any form of tobacco because it took months longer for their bones to heal and he didn't want to deal with it. Many docs don't know or don't tell you that tobacco use has that effect. My bro was in a car accident years and years ago and it took two months longer than the docs expected for his bones to heal enough to be with-o a cast because he used so much skoal.
  10. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sending prayers and scolding vibes to her that she should listen to her family. I know - there are several stubborn ones in my family as well. makes it much more difficult on the family. Selfish if you ask me.
  11. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Sending thoughts and prayers that there are no more serious incidents before she gets in for the MRI...and that she goes into the hospital if it is necessary. I understand the fearfulness, but it's too bad she's so stubborn on top of that. Hugs, must be very hard on all of you.
  12. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Loth, anytime I've gone into the hospital over the last 3 years I've been offered nicotine replacement to get me through. I was too sick to care though. Maybe that will reassure your mother in law. The other option is the electronic smoke stiks ~ I use one on a regular basis to cut down on my smoking. It helps me because it acts like a cigarette with-o the health risks; just get that hit of nicotine.

    Hoping mother in law will come to her senses. Sending white light & many hugs your way.
  13. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I imagine she is too scared to go and feeling guilty because of the anxiety her husband is suffering. What a terrible dellima for her. I'll include her in my prayers, as well as your whole family. DDD
  14. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Adding in prayers that she will get help soon. Hugs.
  15. barneysmom

    barneysmom Member

    Prayers going out for your mother in law and encouragement for you, Loth.

    Same -- prayers and encouragement -- for Totoro with her father in law.
  16. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Thank you all. Your thoughts, prayers and hugs all mean a lot to me.
  17. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I agree with TL on those electronic cigs to calm her down for being in the hospital. Find them! There is also something called Nicotrol which isnt even electronic but is a rx for little nicotine ampules going into what looks like a white cigarette holder. They really help when you simply cannot smoke.