myeverything04
New Member
Many of you know from my past posts that my fiance moved out and in with his grandparents 1 week ago as I brought a ferret home when he said not too. Of course the ferret was icing on the cake so now that I've removed the icing, it's time to destroy the cake.
One thing fiance and I are working towards is me moving from being the "best friend" parent, to a parent who helps difficult child instead of hindering her. To start off, I have the 'single parent' guilt (the kind where you pretty much give in to everything because after all, YOU divorced her dad and she isn't growing up in a Leave it to Beaver kind of world) and I also have the 'single child' guilt (the kind where you play with your child whenever she wants because she has no siblings and we don't live near her school friends).
So my question is, do I go cold turkey on difficult child - list all the rules, consequences and pretty much move towards drill sargent or do I slowly progress? We have house rules (no jumping on furniture - which was broken last night, clean up toys when you are done with them, take plates/cups to kitchen when finished) and those were listed on the fridge, but I don't remember ever setting up a consequence list to breaking the rules. difficult child is an overall good kid, but she plays me like a piano! We had a pretty bad night last night with jumping on the couch, spelling words, yelling, screaming, etc. to the point where I was just done. She got spanked and sent to her room where she cried until she feel alseep.
I am now (after fiance moved out) understanding how my 'babying' her is not helping but only hindering her ability to play independently, grow emotionally out of the preschool age, reason with herself over her actions, etc. And now I'm trying to find the best way to correct it all without going overboard. Any suggestions?
One thing fiance and I are working towards is me moving from being the "best friend" parent, to a parent who helps difficult child instead of hindering her. To start off, I have the 'single parent' guilt (the kind where you pretty much give in to everything because after all, YOU divorced her dad and she isn't growing up in a Leave it to Beaver kind of world) and I also have the 'single child' guilt (the kind where you play with your child whenever she wants because she has no siblings and we don't live near her school friends).
So my question is, do I go cold turkey on difficult child - list all the rules, consequences and pretty much move towards drill sargent or do I slowly progress? We have house rules (no jumping on furniture - which was broken last night, clean up toys when you are done with them, take plates/cups to kitchen when finished) and those were listed on the fridge, but I don't remember ever setting up a consequence list to breaking the rules. difficult child is an overall good kid, but she plays me like a piano! We had a pretty bad night last night with jumping on the couch, spelling words, yelling, screaming, etc. to the point where I was just done. She got spanked and sent to her room where she cried until she feel alseep.
I am now (after fiance moved out) understanding how my 'babying' her is not helping but only hindering her ability to play independently, grow emotionally out of the preschool age, reason with herself over her actions, etc. And now I'm trying to find the best way to correct it all without going overboard. Any suggestions?