My 32 year old son

Bonniegirl

New Member
I've never posted anything before. I am desperate. Until recently he lived at my home because I wanted a safe place for grandchild to visit. That has all come to an end. His ex filed an injunction against him and it has gone downhill. I ended up filing an injunction because he scared and threatend me. He moved out and I dropped my injunction in hopes of him getting counseling and back on track to see his child. He also tried to kill himself coinsidentally the same day I filed my injunction. He didn't know I had filed but I felt terrible about doing it but glad that it made him move out. He has anger/rage issues that I believe are related to adderol abuse. The other morning I went in my garage to leave for work and someone had driven and smashed into my garage door so hard that the tail lights on my car were broken and the garage door was off the wall. I called the police but did not say who I thought it was because?? He's my son? Who else would have done that. I'm heart sick because I've not been able to see my grandchild because I, affraid he will show up or find out and feel like I'm on her side. I know he loves and misses his child but he has done nothing to get back on track. He blames me for everything and now says it's my fault he can't see his child. He was use to me being to go between for him and her. Now I'm too afraid to be around him. The night he left he busted my bedroom door in. I was screaming at the top of my lungs. He kept saying "give me your phone, I know you've called the police. " He was out of his mind. I managed to run out of MY home in my pjs and hid between nieghbor a home. He left I went back in home and turned my alarm on. The garage incident was weeks after I got out of order, sorry. So I haven't been staying at my home because I can't sleep. I'm 58 and have to be able to sleep and go to work. I leave when it's still dark out so I have been living in fear. I also have found out he has been telling people for years that he was abused as a child. That really hurts. I was a stay at home mother, he was raised with Christina values and good morales. I wasn't perfect but he was never abused. What worries me is in his mind I have caused all his problems. I know he has a problem with adderol but he won't take any responsibility. He actually went to his ex workplace who has an injunction the other day. I'm worried now he will be desperate because he might be in trouble for that. After all this he will still text me asking me to ask her if he can see his child. Does he not remember anything he's done? She's not going to let him see the child. He made threats to kidnap him, I don't even feel safe around him to be the visitation place. I can't think of my grandchild without crying. What that precious child must think. Where is his daddy and nana. I have had a realtor come to my home because I think I need to sale my home and move somewhere so I can have my grandchild come over. I can't believe I might need to sale my home to be safe. The worst part is I still worry about my son and love him. I worry he has ruined his life and there is no comeback from this. He has made threats to kill me and her. I fell hopeless and alone. I know somewhere in there is my son who is hurting and lost. I'm tired and have to survive this.
I am having the same exact experience. I am 71 and allowed 32 year old son to return home and finish his college. He rages against me constantly and I am afraid of him. Everyone tells me to go to police or somewhere where they would put 5150 on him but he only month into his classes and this wreck his semester. I don’t know what to do.
 

BusynMember1

Well-Known Member
Hi. This is an old thread. Maybe runaway bunny can start a new thread for you so it gets more attention. I sorry you are going through this. I get it. We all do.

I personally put my daughter out of the house for violence and I was much younger than you. She was 20 and living here with her useless fiance. I don't tolerate scare tactics or violence under my roof. Does not matter who does it or how much it inconveniences the person. As it is you will probably have to evict your son. If he is a danger to you do call elder services and the police. Not even our kids, who are NOT children anymore, have any right to scare or threaten us or hurt us or use drugs in our homes. Your son is a grown man. If he won't be decent, my own experience tells me to pass along that he won't treat you better and that your home should be your sanctuary. Get him out and give it to God if you believe in God.

If he uses substances maybe join a 12 Step group...many are now on Zoom. You don't even have to leave the house. My NarAnon group is on Zoom on Thusdays 6:30 pm CST. Love my group. That helps give me my strength.

Prayers and hugs.
 

Newksm

New Member
Do you have family nearby? If you were to confront him about his behavior or give an ultimatum, can they be with you? Can you or he afford for him to have any other housing options? I would be scared, too, if I were in your situation. Newksm
 

Acacia

Well-Known Member
You say to report your son would wreck his semester. He is wrecking your life. This is a scary situation. If he is a danger to others and himself, he needs to be held accountable. That is not unkind. Please seek help. You are a domestic violence victim. You deserve to be safe.

You can love your son, but love yourself as much. Seek support and protection.
 
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