Hello, I am new here and could use some uncensored advice on my son's behavior. A lot of people mean well, but just don't understand what we are going through. My son throws violent temper tantrums at home. The triggers appear to be perfectionistic tendencies, defiance of instructions, acceptance of consequences, and inflexible problem solving (e.g. becomes easily emotionally overwhelmed when faced with disappointment, anxiety, etc.). The problems are by far the worst when he is out of his routine or when he is tired/hungry/sick. When he is angry, he hits, kicks, throws things at us and our walls, becomes destructive and at one point, even urinated on our floors (the peeing appears to have stopped thank goodness). As many of you probably know, consequences don't even cut ice. When he's down the road, we just have to hang on until it passes. I know that most people would say that this is oppositional defiance disorder- the thing is, he is generally well-behaved at school (in trouble sometimes, but not more than most of his peers), and is often extremely mature in public. When he is calm, he is an absolute delight, frankly. Creative, enthusiastic, and loving. A few things about him- he is smart. He will be starting kindergarten in the Fall and is reading, can add, subtract, multiply, divide, and has advanced verbal and spatial abilities. Of course, I'm his loving mother, but others have also observed that he is intellectually very advanced. He was always a challenge- fussy, curious, alert infant. Willful, highly energetic, into-everything, tantrum-my toddler. He had a pronounced difficulty with transitions (e.g. massive meltdowns when leaving the park or stores) and even now, perseverates on topics for months (dinosaurs, weather, math, etc.). His social skills are not great, but he is very interested in making friends and will adjust his behavior if he thinks he might lose a friend (e.g. he's bossy, but will dial it back if I point out that his friend doesn't like being bossed).