OOpppss....Can a moderator please move this to the WC? TIA This is in repsonse to letter difficult child wrote to her describing his daily schedule, his current grades in school (all A's & B's except for 1 C) and asking how she is doing and if she got her heat repaired (it works but has a problem). Then in a PS he asked her to remind me to keep his dog on a strict diet. (this is because I had told him she had put on weight so I'm cutting treats back- I had been feeding both our dogs too many since being home so much.) My mother sent back his letter to me with a letter to me on the back saying she is going to work with difficult child to remind me how to feed the dog and said she was sending his letter back so I could see for myself that he asked for this (and underlined his PS statement) and said he carefully asked it- I suppose that's an insinuation that he's scared of me or something. Then she writes (still to me) that she was impressed with how much he showed his deep love and concern for his family in his last letter (???) and she's "very impressed with his ability to articulate his deepest feelings and is flattered that he's sharing them with her- his grandmother". Now I think my son can be thoughtful and articulate at times but I really didn't get all that in his last letter to her. Anyway, then in her letter to him she writes that she's proud he's doing so well and she's sure "with a little more applied brain power he can bring the C up to a B". She talks about some time he spent at her house when he was about 3 or 4yo and how much money it will cost for each thing she needs to fix for the heat to work better and how she can't afford it and it's cold. Then she tells him not to worry about her reminding me how I should be feeding the dog (in detail) because "we don't want the dog having a heart attack or developing diabetes from obesity" and we don't have to worry about the other dog becoming overweight. Then she tells him her eyesight is blurry and she's going to have laser surgery next month but it's not too serious and she can drive herself and she's counting the days until he can come home. I see way too much of her "never good enough", "poor me" and "we'll stay on your mom because horrible things could happen if we don't" attitudes in this- which is her typical way. He just turned 15yo and I don't think he needs this. She doesn't get appropriate boundaries and even though she tells me 1/2 the time to remind her or just let her know and it will be ok, she spends the other half the time raising cain when I do. I know it will be a big issue with her if I don't forward a single letter to difficult child but I just may have to face that. She actually emailed me yesterday and asked since I had mentioned (and only mentioned) a couple of weeks ago that I might be visiting (but then I canceled) to come to an interview, could I come now on a specific day so I could drive her to and from the laser surgery. I emailed back and nicely explained that I could not. You know, when you are around 70+ yo and you choose to live in a state where no other family lives, with a very old car, when you have panic attacks driving and have been sued due to accident before, you stab your daughter in the back and lie about it for the umpteenth time claiming that it's out of love for a child that you won't even go visit, threaten to cause your daughter more problems, and bad mouth her to everyone else in the family, it takes a lot of nerve to think daughter is going to drive 5 1/2 hours to take you to a dr., in my humble opinion.