My psychiatrist appointment

[Kjs]

Well, difficult child and I, husband and I have been at each others throats for a long time. Everyday I tell myself I will not yell at difficult child. Everyday I do. I just blow up. Say things I shouldn't. So..Went to psychiatrist on Friday. He prescribed Zoloff and xanax. I take Ambien also quite often due to my work schedule. I also take fiorinal with-codiene for my headaches (as needed). I am really afraid this will all take me out.
Xanax .5 mg (take 4 a day)
Zoloff 50 mg (start with 1/2 for week, then one tablet)
ambien 10 mb (take two at bedtime)

I tried a xanax yesterday and fell asleep sitting up in the chair. I didn't ask doctor, but does xanax work immediately?

Example of what difficult child and I fight about...HOMEWORK. He doesn't do work, and husband feels he shouldn't have to do too much at night, needs excercise and fresh air (like playing an online game does THAT). I asked difficult child to do some homework (prior to easy child taking him to a concert). He said "No. If I do one missing assignment, you will ask me to do another. So NO". easy child heard this and walked up and said, "come on buddy, start some homework while I shower". difficult child said "OK" WHY does he do this to ME???? Then I would of just laid into him, but easy child told me to take a walk.

 

[oceans]

http://www.crazymeds.org/

This is a good site to learn more about medications.

It sounds like you could use some stress reduction! It is nice that easy child can help out, and it sounds like difficult child listens to him. Could some family therapy help out with some strategies and getting everyone in the family on the same page?

Take care of yourself.

 

[timer lady]

kjs,

Homework is a non issue around here - period. Neither of my difficult children are at grade level or stable enough so it's written in their IEP.

Having said that, it's not worth ruining your entire relationship over. If easy child can encourage & work with difficult child to do homework, let him. It's one stressor off your shoulders.

I'm glad that you saw psychiatrist & are seeking help for yourself. My knowledge of xanax is that of an anti anxiety - pretty fast acting & fairly short lived.

Continue to be self caring. Work on detaching from arguments that simply don't matter.

Be gentle with yourself.

 

[Kjs]

difficult child idolizes easy child. However easy child lives 2.5 hours away. Sometimes comes home every weekend due to work. but difficult child and easy child do call each other. easy child does help out a lot when he is around.

 

[DammitJanet]

Personally I would completely detach from homework.

I talked to my kids teachers and told them that I was done with homework at a very early age. I was working and they were in after school care and played sports. By the time we all got home, I wasnt ruining what little time we had together yelling about homework. The medications had completely worn off, they were tired, and I was stressed out. If they could get them to do any homework in school or after school care....great for them...otherwise, I wasnt worrying about it. Now they did do some on their own if they felt like it but I didnt push the issue.

If you make it a non issue, he may stop fighting you on it. Throw the ball back in his court. By 12, my older ones were doing what they had to do with no interference from me. The younger one was a different story but he was on IEP and simply didnt have homework.

As far as the medications, xanax is fast acting.

 

[TerryJ2]

Ahh! Ending the Homework Hassle by John Rosemond is a book for you to read. (You'll have to add in your own recipe for your difficult child but the book has some great detachment ideas.)

What happens if difficult child doesn't do his homework? I mean, will the school hold him back? Call you and hold you accountable? Send a note home? Think about the worst thing that could happen and work backward from that. It's hard to see the big picture if you're under stress and worried about every assignment. If he flunks a class, maybe holding him back or doing summer school is what he needs to show him things aren't working out. Both our kids, incl our easy child daughter, had to fail a class to get them to wake up. Now they get almost all A's and B's. I can't say enough for natural consequences.

Sounds SO much like us (incl the headaches!). I've done neurofeedback to help with-the headaches and it really works. medications should be a fallback, not a staple.

You have GOT to get on the same page with-your husband. {{{cyberhugs}}}
If you can get your husband to buy into consequences, such as, no homework=no playtime, you'll be home free. Then you walk away and read a book.
Actually, I have to read a book at the kitchen table because our difficult child has to have other people around (sigh :crazy:) but the rule is, he does his work, I'll do mine nearby only if he leaves me alone. He just wants my presence.
We also learned to divide homework into sections. I used to press to get him to do all of it, which rarely works for any of our g'sfg. Now he does spelling, then plays, he does math, then plays. I time it on the microwave timer for 15 min. increments. Because it's a mechanical beep and not my voice, it helps both of us detach.

You DON'T have to live like that!!!!! It can be resolved. Don't give up.
:warrior:
and this is especially for you: :bath:

 

[busywend]

For sure give up that homework battle. At least until things can be more stable for you. It is not worth turning the family home into a battle ground. I gave it up. It did alleviate the stress in the house - BIG TIME!

 

[Wiped Out]

I agree about the homework battle and I'm a teacher. He will suffer the natural consequences of not having his work done. I'm glad you saw a psychiatrist. I know sometimes easy child can get difficult child to do something when I can't-it's frustrating and yet I'm glad for whatever works.

 

[Sara PA]

Xanax is a benzo (aka minor tranquilizer), quick acting and potentially addictive. From the prescribing information: "Treatment for patients with anxiety should be initiated with a dose of 0.25 to 0.5 mg given three times daily." So your initial dose is high.

From the Ambien prescribing information: "The total Ambien dose should not exceed 10 mg."

Add codeine to that mix and it's not surprising you fell aleep.

 

[Liahona]

Glad to hear your taking care of yourself. I've been thinking about you. You've got alot on your plate. easy child seems to be level headed. Sometimes it helps to have someone come in that doesn't live with difficult child for 24/7. My difficult child will do things for others that he won't for me. It took many years for my parents to believe me that difficult child was as bad as I said he is. I hope the medications help. Hang in there.