Rannveig
Member
I wondered if you all might have some suggestions, as I'm at a loss. husband and I received this weird letter from Thor's teacher today, and I don't know how to respond. She seems to be accusing us of neglecting our child, and I'm afraid of being too defensive in reply for fear of giving her ammunition to say...well, I don't know what she'd say. Here's the letter:
Dear Mr and Mrs [X]
I am writing to you concerning Thor's welfare. He says he is not hungry at all at snack time and never has his own snack, but I see him begging from the other students. My TA has then noticed that he eats ravenously at lunch time.
Tonight he said he would be staying on at school for the [school play], but has no money for dinner.
I assumed that you would be coming to hear his performance, but I just wanted you to know what I have been observing in class.
I just want to be sure that you are aware of this.
Thank you
[Third Grade Teacher]
I haven't had a chance to discuss this with Thor yet, but what I do know is that he eats breakfast at home and dinner with the family, and at school he has a paid-up lunch card that enables him to choose from a variety of healthy dishes in the cafeteria. Is it so odd for an active nine-year-old to be ravenous at lunchtime? (And what does "ravenous" look like?) Odin's theory is that Thor doesn't like the snack choices at home, so figures it's not worth bringing any to school, but then sees his friends having things that look good so asks to share. Of course Thor needs to know this is not okay, but the teacher's letter seems to suggest there's some deeper problem. I can practically hear social services at my door.
About the dinner tonight, Thor mentioned earlier this week that he'd need money for it but didn't give me the details, and I confess I forgot. That's bad. But honestly, ordinarily I do feed my kid.
Another thing -- earlier this year this same teacher accused Thor of stealing library books after a bunch were found in his locker that he hadn't checked out. But Thor said he didn't know how they got there, and it turned out the lockers aren't locked and that things can even slip from one to another, so it wasn't even clear that he was responsible. The teacher ultimately admitted as much to him but never responded to the thoughtful e-mails husband and I each wrote to her at the time.
In case it's relevant: Thor gets good grades and is not disruptive, but the teacher always writes on his report cards that he works too slowly and is too day-dreamy. And he's always losing stuff or leaving stuff behind and having other people return it. Wristwatches, hand-held games, cell phones, even his winter boots! (He has a cell phone for personal safety, as his school is far from our home -- it's not that we spoil him.)
I'm seriously tempted to write back something really snotty. Or even just to write, "What exactly are you actually trying to say?" But I thought you all might have some more constructive ideas. I would really welcome them -- it breaks my heart to have this woman suggest I'm not taking proper care of my child.
Thanks, Ranny
Dear Mr and Mrs [X]
I am writing to you concerning Thor's welfare. He says he is not hungry at all at snack time and never has his own snack, but I see him begging from the other students. My TA has then noticed that he eats ravenously at lunch time.
Tonight he said he would be staying on at school for the [school play], but has no money for dinner.
I assumed that you would be coming to hear his performance, but I just wanted you to know what I have been observing in class.
I just want to be sure that you are aware of this.
Thank you
[Third Grade Teacher]
I haven't had a chance to discuss this with Thor yet, but what I do know is that he eats breakfast at home and dinner with the family, and at school he has a paid-up lunch card that enables him to choose from a variety of healthy dishes in the cafeteria. Is it so odd for an active nine-year-old to be ravenous at lunchtime? (And what does "ravenous" look like?) Odin's theory is that Thor doesn't like the snack choices at home, so figures it's not worth bringing any to school, but then sees his friends having things that look good so asks to share. Of course Thor needs to know this is not okay, but the teacher's letter seems to suggest there's some deeper problem. I can practically hear social services at my door.
About the dinner tonight, Thor mentioned earlier this week that he'd need money for it but didn't give me the details, and I confess I forgot. That's bad. But honestly, ordinarily I do feed my kid.
Another thing -- earlier this year this same teacher accused Thor of stealing library books after a bunch were found in his locker that he hadn't checked out. But Thor said he didn't know how they got there, and it turned out the lockers aren't locked and that things can even slip from one to another, so it wasn't even clear that he was responsible. The teacher ultimately admitted as much to him but never responded to the thoughtful e-mails husband and I each wrote to her at the time.
In case it's relevant: Thor gets good grades and is not disruptive, but the teacher always writes on his report cards that he works too slowly and is too day-dreamy. And he's always losing stuff or leaving stuff behind and having other people return it. Wristwatches, hand-held games, cell phones, even his winter boots! (He has a cell phone for personal safety, as his school is far from our home -- it's not that we spoil him.)
I'm seriously tempted to write back something really snotty. Or even just to write, "What exactly are you actually trying to say?" But I thought you all might have some more constructive ideas. I would really welcome them -- it breaks my heart to have this woman suggest I'm not taking proper care of my child.
Thanks, Ranny