Hi, I just joined this forum out of final desperation and am really happy to find it and hope it helps. Here is our story... My husband and I adopted a 4 year old (now 7). 2 months after he was placed in our home we got pregnant (he is now 22mo). When we chose to adopt we knew he had problems but thought we could make a difference or help him in some way. Fast forward 3 years and things are crazily the same. It seems. He has been diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder, ADHD, ODD and possibly bipolar. We have done outpatient behavior schools through our psychiatrist twice now. He is incredibly smart, manipulative (to the point I feel crazy like I make up some of the things that are wrong in my head). He is somewhat Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) in my opinion and incredibly argumentative to the point he would fight with you over the color of the sky. He does not have friendships and has poor social skills. I am not sure if he has attached to us at all and sometimes I question if we have attached to him. All of this we have learned to deal with. What we can not deal with is what has continued off and on for 3 years but seems to have started to get worse lately is peeing and pooping in his pants intentionally. His therapist says for control. He has smeared poop everywhere, slept in it, he sits in it all day and will not tell us it is there (until found). We have tried several techniques to eliminate the problem and nothing seems to faze him. He doesn't seem to care. Just recently it seems like this is a daily problem. Well things are about at the worst I can mentally, emotionally, and physically handle. My baby got Hand foot mouth which I have come to the conclusion had to be from home bc he hasn't really been anywhere else when it was contracted. The realization hit me that our AS will put his clothes in his hamper (8 out of 10 times usually soiled) and before taking his shower will pick up the baby toys from tub (which spreads you know what). We have officially put him in pull ups in order for things to be clean! He still poops! He has no humility in it. My husband wants to do an inpatient care facility. I am not sure what to do. Sorry this is so long. We need help!