mstang67chic
Going Green
This is kind of a sensitive subject and I know that only husband and I can make this decision. With that said though, I would like to get input from all of you, especially any of you that have been in similar situations.
A little background....husband and I have been married for almost 13 years and have had difficult child since '99. We got him as a foster child and adopted him in '00. The chance of us having bio kids is pretty low as I am, according to one of the docs we've seen, a shmorgasboard of infertility issues.
I know that no matter how you have kids, either through adoption or "homemade", there's no guarantee of health be it physical or mental. With our experiences with difficult child though, we now better know what to look for and ask about if we were to adopt another child. Still, no guarantee but we would be better educated for the process. (this would be through the foster system again as we just don't have the funds for an infant adoption)
husband and I have talked for a few years about adopting again once we either got a bigger house or difficult child was out of the house, whichever came first. That would also depend on how difficult child was doing at the time. Now though, with the way things have gone with difficult child, we're questioning if we want to do it again. Neither one of us really have the emotional strength to handle another difficult child.
On the other hand, however, we both love kids. Much as we do love difficult child, this hasn't been that positve of a parenting experience for us. I don't mean that to sound selfish and it's not that we would want or expect a Stepford child, so to speak. We just can't handle another difficult child like the one we have.
I read back over what I've typed so far and it does come across as selfish and I really don't mean it that way. We do want more kids and I don't care if there are some physical issues, I'm just not sure if we could handle more mental issues. Not only have we dealt with difficult child but husband is also his mother's guardian as she is severely schizophrenic. Left to her own devices she would be completely non-compliant with medications and even now, will cheek/spit out her pills when husband or his sister give them to her. I just feel that if we were to adopt and get another difficult child, our own stress limitations would not only affect us as parents and as a couple, but I worry that it wouldn't be a good situation for the child also.
I hope I've explained myself to where you understand what I'm trying to say. I suppose if I sat here for days, I could explain it better.
Have any of you been in a position similar to this? Or if not, what would you do? Like I said, only husband and I can make this decision, I know, but I guess I just want input from the only people who could make sense out of my ramblings. You all know what it's like and I value your opinions.
A little background....husband and I have been married for almost 13 years and have had difficult child since '99. We got him as a foster child and adopted him in '00. The chance of us having bio kids is pretty low as I am, according to one of the docs we've seen, a shmorgasboard of infertility issues.
I know that no matter how you have kids, either through adoption or "homemade", there's no guarantee of health be it physical or mental. With our experiences with difficult child though, we now better know what to look for and ask about if we were to adopt another child. Still, no guarantee but we would be better educated for the process. (this would be through the foster system again as we just don't have the funds for an infant adoption)
husband and I have talked for a few years about adopting again once we either got a bigger house or difficult child was out of the house, whichever came first. That would also depend on how difficult child was doing at the time. Now though, with the way things have gone with difficult child, we're questioning if we want to do it again. Neither one of us really have the emotional strength to handle another difficult child.
On the other hand, however, we both love kids. Much as we do love difficult child, this hasn't been that positve of a parenting experience for us. I don't mean that to sound selfish and it's not that we would want or expect a Stepford child, so to speak. We just can't handle another difficult child like the one we have.
I read back over what I've typed so far and it does come across as selfish and I really don't mean it that way. We do want more kids and I don't care if there are some physical issues, I'm just not sure if we could handle more mental issues. Not only have we dealt with difficult child but husband is also his mother's guardian as she is severely schizophrenic. Left to her own devices she would be completely non-compliant with medications and even now, will cheek/spit out her pills when husband or his sister give them to her. I just feel that if we were to adopt and get another difficult child, our own stress limitations would not only affect us as parents and as a couple, but I worry that it wouldn't be a good situation for the child also.
I hope I've explained myself to where you understand what I'm trying to say. I suppose if I sat here for days, I could explain it better.
Have any of you been in a position similar to this? Or if not, what would you do? Like I said, only husband and I can make this decision, I know, but I guess I just want input from the only people who could make sense out of my ramblings. You all know what it's like and I value your opinions.