Need strength--wiped out

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TerryJ2, Apr 30, 2009.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    difficult child was awful last night. I was home alone with-him and had taken away his PS2. He thinks he has a right to it like he has a right to breathe.

    First off, he called me just as easy child's soccer game started and asked me to pick him up. He goes to an after-school program and I'd rather pay to have him there than to annoy me at her game. I made him swear he'd be good and of course he did :faint::(:whiteflag: so I walked across the pkng lot and walked him to the stands. He was there 5.2 seconds when he said he was cold. It was very cold. The temp dropped from 70 to 50 or less. Then he was hungry. Then he was bored.
    easy child's team had a Sr award ceremony on the field so we stayed for that, then went home halfway through the game.

    I bought difficult child fries and a Sprite at McD's on the way home and suggested we build a fire at home since it was so cold. He liked that idea.
    I built it, he looked for 1 split second, then disappeared to play on the PS2. (I forgot to take the cord.)
    I cooked dinner, and after an hr, told him his time was up and it was time to eat.

    Also, had him wash the toilet--he's a lousy aim.

    While he was doing that, I took the cord. His hr was up.

    He wanted it back and pestered me for oh, 2 hrs. I left the rm, sat and ate my dinner in front of the fire, poured myself a glass of wine, did my best to ignore him. His perseverence goes way beyond my capabilities.

    Then he got really mad and told me I was in a bad mood because I was bipolar, and he should know because he is. Say what? I corrected him and said he had Asperger's, but you know, he's always right. :tongue: So there's no point in correcting him.

    He refused to eat dinner. (It was really good--skinless breasts with-herbs and spices, little red potatoes, chicken gravy, with yellow and green beans with toasted pine nuts.)

    I wrote his chores on a note, wrote a note to husband, taped it to the guest rm door, and went to bed at 8 p.m. I brought Taffy onto the bed and cried myself to sleep.

    Today I just feel like someone has drained all the blood out of me.

    difficult child was contrite. He apologized and hugged me this a.m., but said it was because he had a bad day in ISS catching up with-his work, he's upset about his 3 F's, he's upset about Taffy being put down next wk, etc. I honestly don't remember what I said back to him but it was insignificant.

    I have so much to do and no energy to do it.
    Sorry for whining. Some days just hoover.:(:sad-very:
  2. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    Ah, Terry, I'm sorry! I know what it feels like to have a difficult child chisel away at all my resolve to do things the right way. I remember having to leave my body to keep from responding to the whining and the taunts.

    How difficult this must be for you, considering your countdown for your loving dog.
  3. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    I agree, Terry. Some days DO just hoover. Why is it that when our reserves are down we seem to get hit with challenging behaviors the hardest? Or is it just that our fragility makes everything feel so much more difficult?

    I hope today goes better for both of you. Maybe you can carve out some time to do something that you know will energize and restore you a bit.

    Hang in there!
  4. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    They just seem to know when we're already close to the breaking point, and pick that moment to lose it, don't they?

    Sending strength, and hugs.

  5. maril

    maril New Member

    Sending pats on the back to you and wishes for strength. You deserve a break. :flowers: I hope today goes better.

    by the way, I would not have passed up that yummy dinner! Any leftovers, lol?
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thank you all.

    I'm drinking jasmine tea, and I have a massage appointment. in an hr.

    I'm going to paint a bit.

    Then I pick up difficult child and take him to his game. I don't want to go. I don't want to go. I don't want to go. I don't want to go. I don't want to go!
  7. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Oh Terry, I am so glad you have found some quiet alone time!

    I hope tonight goes much better.
  8. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Good for you tea and a massage, your taking care of you. I'm sorry the night was so rough. At times they just dig away and dig away and all you can do is run and hide and cry to vent it out! I'm glad you and Taffy were able to sleep soundly.

    I hope he didn't drive you nuts on the way to the game.

  9. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Hope things were better this evening, Terry. Many hugs.
  10. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I hope the massage was relaxing, I'm sorry you had such a rough day, you deserve better!
  11. DramaQueenLucy

    DramaQueenLucy New Member

    I am so sorry that you had a rough night...I know what it is like to feel like that is it and you can't take another thing. difficult child's seem to know this too little turds.
  12. Stella

    Stella New Member

    "His perseverence goes way beyond my capabilities."

    I feel your pain Terry!! I really don't know how our difficult child's can persevere for so long. They just keep wearing you down, so exhausting. Sorry to hear about your dog too. That alone is enough of a burden for you to carry at the moment without all of difficult child's antics. Be extra nice to yourself this weekend. ((HUGS))

  13. ML

    ML Guest

    I think you have plenty of strength, as I've said before you're the bomb when it comes to being a strong parent. You need a break! Maybe a vacation? I hope you're going to the CD get together. I would go if I could afford it. Love and hugs, ML
  14. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    It's always the way - When we're not at our best, difficult children will make sure things get worse... Knowing that Taffy isn't going to be with you much longer is stressful and painful enough... Having to deal with a difficult difficult child at the same time is absolute HE77!!!

    I'm glad you painted for awhile and got a massage. Taking positive steps to take care of yourself is the best thing you can do.

    How did difficult child's game go? How are you doing today? Thinking of you. Hugs... WFEN
  15. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Isn't it funny how perserverance can be a positive and also a negative trait? Hugs. My difficult child can be the same way, and it is soooo hard to deal with.
  16. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thank you all.

    Yes, if difficult child turns out to be a lawyer, perseverance will pay the bills!

    Maril, I'd love to have served you dinner rather than eat it alone. I normally don't ask for a lot of thanks--just acknowledgement. Sigh. You know how that goes.

    The game was fine. difficult child was much better and didn't bother me at all.

    Today he was home with-laryngitis and congestion. He may miss his game tomorrow.

    The massage was good but painful. She beat me up! It was definitely a hard core sports massage. She spent 1/2 hr on my neck and 1/2 hr on my lower back and a few min on a pulled quad muscle. Not relaxing, but I needed it.
  17. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Fragility and perseverance- they seem to butt heads a lot when it comes to our kids.

    So hard at times to just ignore the why, and just want it to stop I am sure. I know I feel that with K.
    I scream inside my head, "I don't care if you have BiPolar (BP), quit driving me crazy and making me feel like falling apart"

    We love our kids but we hate the symptoms.

    I hope you are feeling better and I am so sorry he is being a PITA when you are already in pain.
    Goes without saying I suppose.
  18. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I just read your update. Well you may not feel so much better with that massage!

    Do you think he was being a bit grumpy from feeling sick? Or just grumpy on top of it?

    Nothing like being home sick yeah! Hope he is feeling better soon, for your sake.
  19. Jena

    Jena New Member

    good i'm glad that it went calmly. Yet i'm sorry you got a let me break your back massage, what happened to calm, peaceful rocks and stones?? LOL.

    He's home and sick?? Oh sheesh.

    Make sure you take care of you too so you dont' get sick next!!
  20. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thank you!

    Totoro, I think it was because I took away the TV cord and he couldn't play with-his PS2.
    He's not a complicated case, usually. ;)