Needing Help!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by a_demann, Sep 4, 2011.

  1. a_demann

    a_demann New Member

    I'm in need of some help for my almost 9yr old son. He has been diagnosed with ADD and is currently taking Adderall XR 20mg. However, it doesn't seem to be helping with the behavioral issues we are having. We are currently trying to set up a nueropsych evaluation. but not sure what that exactly means, can anybody explain to me what the process may be like. He doesn't seem to listen to anything we say, he constantly has to get the last word in, he gets into everything (he's extremely sneaky), he lies, he has even stolen things from relatives and even us (his parents), he can be very aggresive with his sisters, and is extremely annoyed by others. We have tried just about everything with him. It has gotten to the piont that we have to lock most things up.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi and welcome to the board, but so sorry you have to be here. It might help us help you more if you gave us more info on your son, like who lives with you two and how was his early development. You may want to do a signature like I did below. Are you sure he only has ADD going on?
  3. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Welcome as well.
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    First - welcome.

    I'd say you're ahead of the game to already have a neuropsychologist evaluation booked...
    Because there is more going on than "just" the ADD/ADHD.
    In my experience - the whole lieing, stealing etc.? It is not THE problem. It is a critical symptom. Most likely, he has multiple additional needs that are not recognized. He may have tried to self-advocate - but teachers don't believe these kids, usually. Nothing he has said to you (parents) has made any difference either. So... they start relying only on themselves - finding ways to get what they "need" (things that make them feel better about themselves, usually) - but this only compounds the problems and doesn't address the REAL needs.

    I'd be curious to know about...
    - how he's doing in school - math, english, phys ed?
    - does he play team sports? level of success?
    - has he ever been evaluated by a Speech Language Pathologist (SLP)? results?
    - any other evaluations?

    Possible red flags to me - not knowing answers to the above - would include (for starters)...
    - motor skills issues: gross motor skills affect peer relationships, fine motor skills have major impacts on school tasks
    - auditory issues - verbal language processing, handling background noise
    - learning styles
    - learning disabilities
  5. a_demann

    a_demann New Member

    He lives with both parents, and has three sisters. He has problems making friends because he is kind of awkward, I think he doesn't really know how to read social cues. He won't play any sports he was in karate but all he did was stand out there and hit himself in the head, we tried soccer twice but he won't run so he just stands there on the field. I can't seem to get him interested in anything sports related. In gym, I'm not sure how much he participates in but I do know he is very slow moving, but I know he can run. Lol. His math and reading scores were average, according to the MAPP testing, which they will retest this fall sometime in school. He is extremely shy and I think he does worry quite a bit. I have been trying to get him evaluated for ADD and Asperger Syndrome since he was 5 but I just finally been able to find a doctor that will listen. He still hasn't been evaluated for AS but that will come with the nuerospych evaluation. He will be going to the U of M, I'm not sure if they have an autism clinic or if thats seperate but he'll see someone in that area too(not sure if its all the same dr. or not). It just can't come soon enough. Seems like I have been waiting for ever but it seems to be getting worse. It's starting to wear on our family, my husband doesn't have the patients to deal with him at times, and mine are wearing thin. For example, he asks if he can take the mouse out and I'll tell he'll have to wait for a little bit untill I can help him but he sneaks in and takes him out anyway. Then he looses him in the apt. today I spent 5-10 mins looking for the stupid thing and when I kept asking my son where he lost him at he kept saying on the couch well I decided to check his room any way and there I found him, my son had him in a draw. He knew exaclty where it was the whole time. He is getting harder and harder to handle I am affraid of what's to come when he hits puberty.
  6. a_demann

    a_demann New Member

    How do I do a signature?
  7. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Sig - see top left corner of page... Settings. Go there, and you'll find "edit signature".

    By the way - he isn't even 9 yet. You have enough on your plate without worrying about what it wil be like in another 3+ years. Puberty is just one of those "normal" things. For now, the focus needs to be on getting to the bottom of his problems now, so that you get things on a different path before you get there! (been there done that)

    Can be multiple reasons for sports issues... from motor skills to speed of play to whatever else.
    Which reminds me... While you're waiting for the neuropsychologist appointment, you might want to create a parent report (see Site Resources).
    This is a format that will help you pull together all the info you currently know about your difficult child, into a format that can be used by those evaluating difficult child (such as neurypsych). Instead of trying to remember when you're there, or trying to figure it out when filling in forms (be prepared... if you don't get any, then you're not getting a full evaluation) - you'll already have the answers.

    p.s. - have you seen the book "The Explosive Child" by Green? It seems to work with many kids when more traditional approaches fail... we found the theory behind it to be useful - that kids do well if they can (rather than "if they want to"), and that its up to the adults to figure out why they can't.

    p.p.s. - you're braver than me... my kids will NEVER have a rodent as a pet... I'm not going chasing after one!
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2011
  8. a_demann

    a_demann New Member

    Thanks, I'll definitely start a parent report and check into the book too. I found where to do the signature. However, I'm such a newbie at this I have no idea what all the addreviations stand for?
  9. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Abbrevs - go back to Site Help and Resources... there's a whole list there.

    Most of it is standard IM stuff - Know what I mean?? (know what I mean?)
    difficult child - isn't even explained in the abbrevs list! It stands for "Gift from God", a phrase started by one of the early site moderators, I understand. It is used to refer to any challenging child (or adult for that matter) for whom you have some level of responsibility.

    You'll catch on quickly - it helps to go through the list and see the pattern, lots of others can be guessed at, and some are medical short-forms: rx = prescription, diagnosis = diagnosis, etc. (including short-forms for dxes like ADHD and BPII and Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and etc.)