Neighbors Kids.........

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by happymomof2, Dec 29, 2007.

  1. happymomof2

    happymomof2 New Member

    We recently had new neighbors move in next door. husband and I like the couple. They have 2 teenage girls. My DS and the oldest girl get along great. The younger girl and my daughter get along great. Put all four of them together and you get total chaos. Not constantly but enough for me to say - life is too short I am not going to be a referee every stinking day.

    They are all teenagers. Well my daughter is 12 - close enough. I don't let my kids hang out with any of our other neighbors due to the lack of parenting and moral issues. So my 2 were so excited when they moved in. Truthfully so was I. Here is how a typical day goes:
    DS aggravates daughter - oldest neighbor giggles or also takes a jab at daughter. daughter - instead of coming to me - screams at the top of her lungs at whoever is offending her. The best is when the older 2 (my DS and older friend) and the younger 2 (my daughter and the younger friend) just stay away from each other.

    The oldest girl is very intelligent and sly. She can be a real smart a**. So how do I handle this? Any suggestions. Right now they both went home. daughter is grounded to her room until her dad says she can come out. DS is outside totally ticked that they had to leave. Like I said life is too short. I have enough stress on me right now without having to deal with all that BS.

    Any suggestions would be appreciated.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi there.
    What offends you about the neighbors kids? I would think it would be very hard to keep your kids away from all of them.
    I have at times forbade my teenage kids from seeing certain friends, but have a feeling they did so anyways, if not at home then at school or at other places. I find it really impossible to keep my kids away from everyone whose parents may be doing things I don't approve of--I sort of just hoped my kids realized I wouldn't do what they did...
  3. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Can the younger two hang out at your house and the older two hang out at the neighbors' house (or vice versa) so the two pairs don't antogonize each other? Divide and conquer, as I always say.
  4. happymomof2

    happymomof2 New Member

    Midwestmom, half the teens in this neighborhood are in juvenile detention the other half are working towards it. My son is on probation now for doing something with part of that group. Like I said bad neighborhood but we can not move right now. My son has lots of opportunity to hang out with and go places with his youth group at church. My daughter will be old enough to join the same youth group in the summer.

    Smallworld, sadly it may come to that. It does work out better that way. If they are wanting to be able to hang together something has got to change. It is nice tho to be able to let both mine go over to there house if husband and I need to be gone for a while. Since son got in trouble he no longer gets to stay at home alone for longer than me to run a short errand.
  5. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Perhpas your son is working on a little crush with neighbor girl and he feels it "raises his appeal" to be funny and pick on his sister?? I wouldn't want two teenagers of the opposite sex hanging out unless they are supervised well.

    Have you sat your son down and told him how he is sabatouging time with company by his attitude towards his sister when the neighbor girls are there? Maybe you need to make it absolutely clear that you won't tolerate and teasing or taunting or all bets are off. For every time he annoys his sister in the company of the neighbors, he looses a couple days of company privilages. You will probably also want to address the girl taunting his sister as well. Tell your son that he has some responsibility to make sure his sister is not teased. Tell him to talk to the neighbor girl and blame it on you. Something like "my mom is going to not let us hang out if we bug my sister".

    It's nice for your kids to have friends and I love having other kids here in my house. There can be drama from time to time, but I'm sure you will work it out.

    Good luck,
  6. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Well, as I see it you have two choices. And you might choose both.

    1) Tell the older neighbor that regardless of the sibling rivalry between DS and daughter, she is not actually a part of your family and doesn't understand daughter's tolerance levels (or yours) and she would do best to stay out of it when DS antagonizes daughter, or she will be asked to leave. You might give her parents a heads up that daughter is susceptible to teasing, and you are looking out for her and don't want their daughter to cause hard feelings by getting involved when she doesn't understand the situation.

    2) Like Smallworld says, "divide and conquer." Don't let all four of them hang out together. Maybe not necessarily different houses, but different rooms and different activities.
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    It might be helpful to sit them all down and explain the ground rules, and the consequences. It would work best with the other parents' involvement. Even if the other parents can't be there, this might give the kids some boundaries and help save your sanity.

    It also seems like a good idea to have them at least in separate rooms, if not in separate houses.

    With time and patience and some ground rules, you may find a delightful friendship for your kids.