New here and dont know what to do


New Member
Hi Im new here and dont know where to begin. I sit here in tears dont know what to do anymore dont know who to turn to. Its seems we hit a road block.

We adopted our daughter 4 years ago she is now 8 years old. She has had severe trauma in her life from the age 1 to 3 1/2. The first 6 months after adopting her things were great we started to bond and it was feeling like a family and all of a sudden things changed and they have been downhill ever since. She has been in and out of Childrens psy hospitals for the past 4 years was in a Residential Treatment Facility (RTF) for 6 months and discharged 4 days after being discharged was put back in hospital spent almost 2 months there while we tryed to find some options. She currently in a Residential Treatment Facility (RTF) has been there almost 1 year. 1 week ago she was admitted to a childrens psy hospital cause she was out of controll and was not being safe. We had a meeting there today and I feel like I just dont know what to do anymore. We talked about all the abuse and trauma she has gone through the dr said in his 15 years in practice he has not seen a little girl who has been through so much. He said her trauma is very deep and he dont know if she will ever be able to work though it all. She has been comming home for some home vists which always are ended early cause she trys to hurt her brothers and us, she self abuses herself,trys to run away. When she is hospilazied we try and be a active part in her treatment like today when we saw her she asked us to leave she didnt want us there. We asked the doctors if we could be triggering her. He said that could be possibal. We only say that cause around Easter time she had a very bad vist here and she didnt return back for at least 3 months and she did fine no real issues. So in our mind we are wondering would she do better without us?? DR and theropist did say at one time they belived She would never be able to return home. Just dont know what to do!!

I know there is alot of things missing but this is a big step for me I keep all this stuff inside and think I can handle this on my own but I need help and this is a start!! So if you have any questions feel free to ask. Sorry about the spelling and typeos its 1am and Im usally fast asleep :smile:

~ Psychosis not otherwise specified
~ Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)
~ Primary Generalized Epilepsy Snydrome
~ Looking into several other :frown:

Thanks for taking the time to read the post



Welcome to the board. I'm sorry you find yourself here, but am glad you found us. I'm glad you found a place you felt safe to let it all out. It helps to know you're not alone.

There are other parents on this site that have children with a traumatic past and similar diagnosis's (diagnoses) to your child. I'm sure they'll be along in the morning.

Here is some info on Complex PTSD, which they are finding to fit these children better than traditional PTSD. I don't know if the professionals have mentioned it to you. If not, you may want to discuss it with them and see if they think it fits. Of course we are not professionals here and we can't diagnosis, but I personally think that knowledge is power and like to keep informed on the latest information.

I don't have any personal experience, but I can tell from those in the trenches that Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is a hard one for the care-givers.


PS - To do the signature like I have on the bottom of my post, go to My Stuff at the top of the screen and select My Profile. It helps us keep track of everyone.

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful

Tie a knot at the end of your rope and hold on. You've landed in a wonderful place full of parents who care and have been there done that.

Welcome to the Board. :grin:

Sending many warm and gentle (((((hugs))))) your way!

Sara PA

New Member
You have to watch out when you have epilepsy in the mix. So many of the drugs used to treat psychiatric disorders can lower the seizure threshold. Partial seizures can cause behaviors which are often misdiagnosed as psychiatric disorders.


Well-Known Member
Welcome TammyR!!

It seems as though she may never be able to live at home. Listen to the professionals. If they are saying that - it is likely true. Their goal if for reunification.

I hope the adoption agency is paying for the Residential Treatment Facility (RTF).

Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is a tough diagnosis from what I have read. The books mentioned above are usually helpful to parents that find us and have children with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD).

Is she on medication?


Well-Known Member

Sounds like your little girl is extremely complex. I'm glad you found your way here. There are a number of parents whose children have been in long term placement and I'm sure they will be along at some point today.

I'm sorry that I can offer no advise or suggestions. I don't have the experience with such a complicated diagnosis. I can warmly welcome you to the site though. You have found a place that is definately a soft place to land. Lots of hugs. :angel:


Wiped Out

Well-Known Member
Staff member
Wecome to a very soft place to land. I'm glad you found us as others have said there are others here who share similar experiences-you are not alone.

I'm sorry things are so difficult. I noticed you found us in the middle of the night. It's when many of us found this place searching for help, searching for answers.

Many hugs to you.


Former desparate mom
Welcome to our little corner of cyberworld. The feeling of frustration and futility when you see no progress in the emotional growth of your child is almost a feeling of drowning. Many of us have had episodes with this feeling. Different reasons and different kids but mothering a difficult child is more work than anyone could imagine.

I'm glad you found us and hope we can offer some suggestions and support. Let us know a little more about your child and your experience.



Welcome, I don't have experience dealing with what you are dealing with, I can't imagine how lost you must feel. We're only just beginning to explore attachment issues with my 12yo. I do know you have found the right place for difficult diagnoses. There is much much wisdom around here.