I've been lurking on this board for a couple of days and have been extremely impressed, although I have one question (and pardon my ignorance here) WHAT IS difficult child???? My son (12 in 3 weeks) was diagnosis'd with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) (reactive attachment disorder), ADHD, and Anxiety several years ago. The Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is mild as far as that goes, but still very hard to live with, add that to heading into puberty (oi!) Most of the Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) presents in a lack of respect for adults and authority, hoarding, stealing (fortunately this is <u>usually</u> limited to within the household at this point)and little or no remourse. His pediatrician is also watching him for possible bipolar, right now he presents a few symptoms, but not quite enough to actually diagnosis him. Seems everywhere I go I hear about the lack of respect my son has for others. The mouthiness he has. He's an extremely smart kid, but he's also a [email protected]$$. I've had some tell me "well, you're the parent it's up to you to find something that works" As if it were that easy! So, among other things, I am now on a new mission. Again, the boy has no remourse, so any sort of grounding etc has no effect on him. Finances are very tight in our house (especially paying for medications, psychiatric, etc!) so I don't want to do a merit system based on money, but I do want to come up with some sort of merit system. He loves to be a helper. In elementary school they kept him in check by rewarding good weeks with being able to read to younger classes. That was always a great motivator. I'm also hoping coming up with something along these lines will help curb the temper (which is occassional) and tearful (not as occassional) outbursts. In my readings on this board, my struggles aren't near what some of you struggle with, but if I can learn from you all and keep my boy (who has such a good heart but has such a hard time with it) on a good path. I really worry about him as he hits the teen years and starts having to make hard choices. I think so far his one saving grace is his love and talent for soccer and lacrosse.