april1974
New Member
Hi everyone, I want to say how reading everyone's stories make me realize that I'm not alone. ♥
My story...I am 37yrs old and married, my hubby and I have been together for 13yrs, I have a 20yr old daughter from a previous relationship and husband & I have twin boys age 5. My daughter is doing very well and is currently in college. My twins started kindergarten this year and surprising enough the twin I thought I would have issues with is doing fine and the twin I thought was ready and would excel is having major issues On friday we had a meeting at the school regarding his behaviour. I could write a novel about the issues I'm having with the school and some of their methods BUT...that is another story another post possibly. My silver lining in the school system is husband's aunt and godmother, she also happens to be head of the special needs department at the board level she is my go to girl and when I finally requested a meeting with the school I informed them that she would be coming as well. Don't think the principal was too thrilled about it, but...too bad, this is my son and they can suck lemons if they don't like it.
What brought us to this???? My twin b who I thought was ready is having some behavioural issues, for no reason, unprovoked he will do mean things friday the day of our meeting he went up to a girl on the play ground and uncrossed her legs so she lost her grip on the play equipment and fell off hitting her head in the sand I don't know what would possess him to do such a mean thing, he has also head butted other kids and kicked, punched, pushed etc...it's really sad and worries me. However the teachers say he isn't malicious when he does these things, they are out of the blue for no rhyme or reason. Sometimes he reacts to others when he hits if he percieves to be threatened he will lash out. At the present moment the teachers say the kids like him but if the behaviour continues over time the kids will learn to fear him. He can be the sweetest boy and he's very smart, academically he is doing fine, much better than his twin...I HATE comparing them and do my best not to, but how can two children raised in the same home be soooooooo different?????? twin a the teachers said has a kind heart ))) makes me very happy, I rarely get phone calls regarding Erik, but Matt it's weekly, that child has spent more time in the principals office than I ever did in my entire school days combined.
The teachers say his problems are usually when it's free time(recess) they wanted to cut his recess time down because they say it's too long for him..I flatly refused I stated in the meeting "The worst thing you can do to a boy is cut down his recess time, they need that time to run & burn off energy..I've done my research and it shows that cutting recess is a short term solution with long term implications and I refuse to allow him to be punished for behaviour that is impulsive and may or may not be in his control" the resource team agreed(Thank God) and said they think the best thing to do is have 1/2 his recess time structured with an EA, have a small group of kids do a structured activity that way ds isn't singled out. I agreed. My sister in law is an EA at a different school and she can't believe they didn't implement this months ago considering there have been issues all year long.
All year long.......one call after another......I did tell them I thought certain things they were nit picking and not allowing him to be who he is. All year we've had issues and we don't get a meeting till friday, funny, school is out in two week :rollingmyeyes: next year will be different.
plus he is banned from the school bus for 2 days because he stole a mini hockey stick from the principals office and hit a kid with it on the bus. I have no idea if he was provoked or not but he got a 2 day bus suspension, this is the 2nd bus suspension this year.
No official testing is set up, they don't like to do testing in kids under age 6 so we will wait. In the meantime, my hubby is super stressed and completely bummed out about all of this...I'm trying to educate myself on ODD & conduct disorder plus looking at ADHD...what is going on in his little mind I'm not sure.
As a parent I take part of the blame, we get so frustrated sometimes we yell...and act like 2 yr olds ourselves...we've been inconsistant with our discipline and need to shape up! I feel like now I not only have 2 children to look after but I also have to manage my husband's feelings and try to keep him from slipping into the abyss while I try to hang onto my own sanity and learn to rewire my behaviour to help our sons...I went to the library today and took a pile of books, I'm looking forward to reading
"It's nobody's fault" by Harold Koplewicz MD since I think I need to hear it's not your fault!
I could go on and on and on....but I won't and if you read all of this thankyou, I hope to learn so much from everyone here and maybe feel safe in telling you my story
My story...I am 37yrs old and married, my hubby and I have been together for 13yrs, I have a 20yr old daughter from a previous relationship and husband & I have twin boys age 5. My daughter is doing very well and is currently in college. My twins started kindergarten this year and surprising enough the twin I thought I would have issues with is doing fine and the twin I thought was ready and would excel is having major issues On friday we had a meeting at the school regarding his behaviour. I could write a novel about the issues I'm having with the school and some of their methods BUT...that is another story another post possibly. My silver lining in the school system is husband's aunt and godmother, she also happens to be head of the special needs department at the board level she is my go to girl and when I finally requested a meeting with the school I informed them that she would be coming as well. Don't think the principal was too thrilled about it, but...too bad, this is my son and they can suck lemons if they don't like it.
What brought us to this???? My twin b who I thought was ready is having some behavioural issues, for no reason, unprovoked he will do mean things friday the day of our meeting he went up to a girl on the play ground and uncrossed her legs so she lost her grip on the play equipment and fell off hitting her head in the sand I don't know what would possess him to do such a mean thing, he has also head butted other kids and kicked, punched, pushed etc...it's really sad and worries me. However the teachers say he isn't malicious when he does these things, they are out of the blue for no rhyme or reason. Sometimes he reacts to others when he hits if he percieves to be threatened he will lash out. At the present moment the teachers say the kids like him but if the behaviour continues over time the kids will learn to fear him. He can be the sweetest boy and he's very smart, academically he is doing fine, much better than his twin...I HATE comparing them and do my best not to, but how can two children raised in the same home be soooooooo different?????? twin a the teachers said has a kind heart ))) makes me very happy, I rarely get phone calls regarding Erik, but Matt it's weekly, that child has spent more time in the principals office than I ever did in my entire school days combined.
The teachers say his problems are usually when it's free time(recess) they wanted to cut his recess time down because they say it's too long for him..I flatly refused I stated in the meeting "The worst thing you can do to a boy is cut down his recess time, they need that time to run & burn off energy..I've done my research and it shows that cutting recess is a short term solution with long term implications and I refuse to allow him to be punished for behaviour that is impulsive and may or may not be in his control" the resource team agreed(Thank God) and said they think the best thing to do is have 1/2 his recess time structured with an EA, have a small group of kids do a structured activity that way ds isn't singled out. I agreed. My sister in law is an EA at a different school and she can't believe they didn't implement this months ago considering there have been issues all year long.
All year long.......one call after another......I did tell them I thought certain things they were nit picking and not allowing him to be who he is. All year we've had issues and we don't get a meeting till friday, funny, school is out in two week :rollingmyeyes: next year will be different.
plus he is banned from the school bus for 2 days because he stole a mini hockey stick from the principals office and hit a kid with it on the bus. I have no idea if he was provoked or not but he got a 2 day bus suspension, this is the 2nd bus suspension this year.
No official testing is set up, they don't like to do testing in kids under age 6 so we will wait. In the meantime, my hubby is super stressed and completely bummed out about all of this...I'm trying to educate myself on ODD & conduct disorder plus looking at ADHD...what is going on in his little mind I'm not sure.
As a parent I take part of the blame, we get so frustrated sometimes we yell...and act like 2 yr olds ourselves...we've been inconsistant with our discipline and need to shape up! I feel like now I not only have 2 children to look after but I also have to manage my husband's feelings and try to keep him from slipping into the abyss while I try to hang onto my own sanity and learn to rewire my behaviour to help our sons...I went to the library today and took a pile of books, I'm looking forward to reading
"It's nobody's fault" by Harold Koplewicz MD since I think I need to hear it's not your fault!
I could go on and on and on....but I won't and if you read all of this thankyou, I hope to learn so much from everyone here and maybe feel safe in telling you my story
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