Hi all;
I didn't want to hijack Dara's thread, but her situation is very much like the one I'm having with my 16 y/o son.
About a year ago or so, my ex (who has primary custody) informed me that both our sons had been looking at porn on line. Apparently it was gay porn.
For my younger son (difficult child), the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) part of his nature has latched onto the images from this, and he now considers himself gay, and has attempted to solicit sex from others. One time it was another student on his school bus, and once it was the man laying tile floors in the ex's house.
He sees a therapist, but I don't know now much she's explored this issue with him so far.
Just last week, I found out he had joined a networking site called "tagged" and has been "friending" other gay "boys" there. These others claim to be 19; one lives close enough that my son wants to meet him. I found out yesterday that they have exchanged pictures of their privates to each other. I had already talked to my son and discussed with him why I don't believe he's truly gay (not that I would be all that upset if he was...), and that I believe he just saw some stuff that has his curiosity piqued and he cannot get it out of his head. I asked him if he was 100% SURE he was gay and he could only shrug his shoulders and say "I don't know." I asked if he was saying that because he didn't want to tell me, or if he truly didn't know. I told him that this is a difficult lifestyle to live and if he wasn't sure, he shouldn't just jump in and choose it without careful consideration.
Finding him exchanging genital pictures with another "boy" of course has me a bit wigged out. I told his father and they were supposed to have a "talk" last night. I have not heard back yet to see how that went.
My ex works for our county's sheriff's office as a corrections officer and plans to contact the 19 y/o and warn him off of continuing to contact our son. He will likely revoke internet access as well.
My son has always had difficulty making and keeping friends. He goes to the local public school, so hasn't been completely sheltered, but his life-long behavior issues has made it "easier" for us (parents) to simply decline to let him go places where he might do a bit more social interacting with others. Right now, his "best friend" is a boy his age with Asperger's syndrome.
I don't know if I really have a question here. Last night I hit a breaking point where I feel like I've totally failed my son somehow, cried and prayed till sleep would finally come.
I know there have been things I should have made an effort to do differently/better for him, but the chip I've had on my shoulder regarding the ex and me wanting HIM to step up and do more for the kids...well, I let my anger at my ex keep me from just doing what I should have done as a mom.
I guess I'm just needing a place to vent where others will likely understand. I welcome any and all responses, even criticisms.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
Nancie
I didn't want to hijack Dara's thread, but her situation is very much like the one I'm having with my 16 y/o son.
About a year ago or so, my ex (who has primary custody) informed me that both our sons had been looking at porn on line. Apparently it was gay porn.
For my younger son (difficult child), the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) part of his nature has latched onto the images from this, and he now considers himself gay, and has attempted to solicit sex from others. One time it was another student on his school bus, and once it was the man laying tile floors in the ex's house.
He sees a therapist, but I don't know now much she's explored this issue with him so far.
Just last week, I found out he had joined a networking site called "tagged" and has been "friending" other gay "boys" there. These others claim to be 19; one lives close enough that my son wants to meet him. I found out yesterday that they have exchanged pictures of their privates to each other. I had already talked to my son and discussed with him why I don't believe he's truly gay (not that I would be all that upset if he was...), and that I believe he just saw some stuff that has his curiosity piqued and he cannot get it out of his head. I asked him if he was 100% SURE he was gay and he could only shrug his shoulders and say "I don't know." I asked if he was saying that because he didn't want to tell me, or if he truly didn't know. I told him that this is a difficult lifestyle to live and if he wasn't sure, he shouldn't just jump in and choose it without careful consideration.
Finding him exchanging genital pictures with another "boy" of course has me a bit wigged out. I told his father and they were supposed to have a "talk" last night. I have not heard back yet to see how that went.
My ex works for our county's sheriff's office as a corrections officer and plans to contact the 19 y/o and warn him off of continuing to contact our son. He will likely revoke internet access as well.
My son has always had difficulty making and keeping friends. He goes to the local public school, so hasn't been completely sheltered, but his life-long behavior issues has made it "easier" for us (parents) to simply decline to let him go places where he might do a bit more social interacting with others. Right now, his "best friend" is a boy his age with Asperger's syndrome.
I don't know if I really have a question here. Last night I hit a breaking point where I feel like I've totally failed my son somehow, cried and prayed till sleep would finally come.
I know there have been things I should have made an effort to do differently/better for him, but the chip I've had on my shoulder regarding the ex and me wanting HIM to step up and do more for the kids...well, I let my anger at my ex keep me from just doing what I should have done as a mom.
I guess I'm just needing a place to vent where others will likely understand. I welcome any and all responses, even criticisms.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
Nancie