Hi,
Hope this is the right place to post my introduction!
My husband and I adopted 6 children, one infant adoption and the others as older children with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). Now all but two are adult.
My issues today are centered around my adult children; the children at home have issues but I have discovered that these issues become all the more hard to cope with once the children become adults and their problems move into a more public arena. What was once confined to our family, is now pretty much public property. I´m sure many of you reading this will be nodding by now...
My eldest child is 24. He was thrown out of our home three years ago following very abusive behaviour including coming home drunk, refusing to help in any way. Ignoring family events such as birthdays and even christmas - he stayed in bed all christmas day, got up at 2pm and went to a bar with his friends. Didnt think he´d done anything wrong. No gifts for his little sisters. Nothing. Was adopted at 5, in care before that, and abused while in care. Disliked or even hated us from the very begining. Lovely, charming and sucessful in the outside world. Abusive, bullying and sexually inappropriate at home. Lies, steals and blames us for everything.
Now lives just down the road from us and tells everyone that we were abusive to him, we were cruel to him because he is adopted, and he was treated as a slave at home.
Now , for me here is the most painful part; there are many people here who believe him. People who have never met us, who know nothing about us. They see this charming young man and they believe everything he says. I have even had people spit on me in the street. He has dubbed our home with leave town written in red, he has got some of his friends to attack his older sister. Always he is careful not to be implicated.
I have another child slightly younger who drinks way too much and is into drugs. Doesn´t work and has no plans to find work. He is still living with us. Even this is used by my elder son who tells everyone that this is because we are such bad parents.
This is a child I raised, loved and took care of. I am sad, angry, afraid and tired in equal measure. I know many of you here will have problems too and I look forward to meeting you and finally being with people who understand.
Thank you for reading this long intro. With best wishes to you all.
Hope this is the right place to post my introduction!
My husband and I adopted 6 children, one infant adoption and the others as older children with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). Now all but two are adult.
My issues today are centered around my adult children; the children at home have issues but I have discovered that these issues become all the more hard to cope with once the children become adults and their problems move into a more public arena. What was once confined to our family, is now pretty much public property. I´m sure many of you reading this will be nodding by now...
My eldest child is 24. He was thrown out of our home three years ago following very abusive behaviour including coming home drunk, refusing to help in any way. Ignoring family events such as birthdays and even christmas - he stayed in bed all christmas day, got up at 2pm and went to a bar with his friends. Didnt think he´d done anything wrong. No gifts for his little sisters. Nothing. Was adopted at 5, in care before that, and abused while in care. Disliked or even hated us from the very begining. Lovely, charming and sucessful in the outside world. Abusive, bullying and sexually inappropriate at home. Lies, steals and blames us for everything.
Now lives just down the road from us and tells everyone that we were abusive to him, we were cruel to him because he is adopted, and he was treated as a slave at home.
Now , for me here is the most painful part; there are many people here who believe him. People who have never met us, who know nothing about us. They see this charming young man and they believe everything he says. I have even had people spit on me in the street. He has dubbed our home with leave town written in red, he has got some of his friends to attack his older sister. Always he is careful not to be implicated.
I have another child slightly younger who drinks way too much and is into drugs. Doesn´t work and has no plans to find work. He is still living with us. Even this is used by my elder son who tells everyone that this is because we are such bad parents.
This is a child I raised, loved and took care of. I am sad, angry, afraid and tired in equal measure. I know many of you here will have problems too and I look forward to meeting you and finally being with people who understand.
Thank you for reading this long intro. With best wishes to you all.