I am so tired to seeing new Psychiatrists for difficult child 1....I swear for years it's all I did. Constantly searching for answers and NOT ONE of them has ever agreed on a diagnoses...I guess this should have been my first clue. So for the last year, we've been somewhat MIA from any psychiatrist's office (a cross-country move contributed). But now, after a horrible month, we have our appointment today. Initially, I felt like we were going for new medications. That's how I've been trained as the mom, if one medication doesn't work, try another...because they must be medicated. But he's been on multiple medications for so many years now, I don't remember anymore what we're trying to treat and how can I really know if the medications aren't a huge part of the problem?? We've been slowly bringing him off the Risperdone, and his Lexapro is doing absolutely nothing for him because he's as depressed as ever. His mood is like a roller coaster and I never know what to expect. I read today about Frontal Lobe Syndrome and I really have to wonder. Is the Lexapro actually CAUSING the lack of interest, apathy, indifference? And has the Risperdone been CAUSING the increasingly violent, explosive behavior for years now and I just didnt' know?? The thought of it makes me sick to my stomach I feel like a horrible mother. I know it's not my fault. I have 2 other kids to care for and I'm on my own and it's just freaking hard most of the time. I wish it had not taken me so many years to question the medications and I wish I had spent a whole lot more of my time researching these issues. But today, we will start again. And I truly hope this new psychiatrist can offer some insight to his issues. I suppose I'll know pretty quickly.